In this episode, Sarah brings a heartfelt and tender question: How do I talk to a friend who shifts from playful connection to subtle moralizing which often causes me to feel infantilized and shut down?

What follows is a rich, layered exploration of how covert control and unconscious superiority can sneak into even our most well-meaning relationships. We unpack the difference between tone-setting and mutual consent, how to reclaim subjectivity without blame, and the deep emotional wound that gets poked when others make decisions for us instead of with us.

And yes, it all begins with chocolate.

Listener Takeaways:

•Why “I just wanted more chocolate” can be code for “I want to matter”

•How to recognize internalized domination programming in ourselves and others

•How to speak up when someone imposes their worldview or preferences on the group

•Practical scripts for initiating a non-defensive, heart-connected conversation about painful dynamics

•How to share emotional vulnerability without over-exposing or collapsing

•Why self-revealing without moralizing is a powerful act of liberation

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when every conversation with a parent leaves you feeling erased, criticized, or shut down, but walking away feels like betrayal?

In this raw and tender coaching session, we meet Suzanne, who’s struggling to navigate contact with her mother: a woman who routinely gaslights her, shuts down difficult topics, and prioritizes her own emotional comfort over honest connection. Suzanne wants to be seen. She also wants to stay safe. And in her family, those two things feel mutually exclusive.

We explore:

•The heartbreak of being unseen by a parent you still long to connect with.

•The nervous system impact of childhood emotional silencing, and why it still flares in adulthood.

•How to say “I don’t feel safe talking right now” without guilt.

•What to do when someone turns your feelings into personal attacks.

•And how to develop scripts that mirror instead of merge, so you can stay true to yourself in hard conversations.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in a role that doesn’t fit, or stuck in a pattern that leaves you numb, enraged, or ashamed, this one’s for you.

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this intimate coaching conversation, Colleen brings a familiar dilemma: her husband drives too fast for her nervous system to handle. She doesn’t want to control him, but she does want to feel safe. Together, we unpack how to name her limits without moralizing, how to invite collaboration instead of compliance, and how to speak from care rather than critique.

Key Takeaways for Listeners:

•Boundaries are not about controlling others. They’re about naming what you are or are not available for.

•To foster buy-in, shift from You’re wrong to This doesn’t work for my nervous system.

•Compassionate communication can include honest judgments, especially when they arise from fear and care.

•Sharing your vulnerabilities can diffuse tension and build understanding faster than logic or critique.

•Collaborative planning (in calm moments) is often more effective than reactive correction (in hot moments).

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus