On this episode of Cooking Issues, Dave and the crew reconnect for a sprawling, high-energy session that ranges from centrifuge butter failures to 24-hour pumpernickel experiments, with diversions into the nightmare of strawberry seeds, giant pretzels, and the strangest tips ever left in bars and restaurants. Along the way: raspberry beret brainworms, peeling strawberry heresy, and why changing your water filter matters more than you think.

• Centrifuge Butter Problems and Strawberry Seed Disgust – Quinn’s stalled butter dehydration project leads to a deep dive into centrifugal puréeing, why strawberry seeds ruin everything, and a passionate argument about why peeling strawberries is a crime against food.

• Westphalian Pumpernickel and Giant Pretzels – Dave details his attempt at real Westphalian pumpernickel—pure rye, 24 hours of low-temperature steam baking, and 48 hours of aging—plus recommendations for Pennsylvania butter pretzels, massive local potato chips, and surviving blistered hands from slicing bricks of bread.

• The Craziest Tips Ever Received – The crew shares the most bizarre tips they’ve encountered, from stacks of $2 bills to fortune cookie fortunes to a memorable crack rock offering—plus a rant about Bible-verse tippers and the fine line between generosity and insult.

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On this episode of Cooking Issues, the crew reunites for a wide-ranging, hilariously chaotic discussion that moves from Coachella cuisine to centrifuge-based butter experiments, press duck, and Ricardo Montalbán’s chest. Dave is joined by John, Joe, Quinn, Jack, and Nastassia for musings on celebrity behavior, culinary nomenclature, and obscure French cheeses—all with a healthy dose of sarcasm and science.

• Celebrity Chef Ego and Dining Etiquette – The group discusses how fame distorts behavior, including chefs and musicians, and the joy of witnessing celebrities treat restaurant staff with kindness—plus a few namedrops of not-so-gracious guests.

• Naming the Centrifuge Butter Creation – Quinn recaps his Instagram poll on what to call the high-fat cream spun in a centrifuge. Ideas like “Heavy G,” “Astro Butter,” and “Roto Butter” are floated—and mostly rejected by Dave, who wants a name that doesn’t mislead consumers into thinking it’s traditional butter.

• Paris Food and Shopping Recommendations – The episode wraps with a deep dive into Paris: cheese shops (Barthélemy, La Coop), restaurants (Tour d’Argent’s pressed duck, Chez L’Ami Jean, Le Repaire de Cartouche), and kitchenware store Dehillerin. Plus, Dave warns against raw mussels on Parisian seafood platters—twice burned, forever cautious.

• Bonus Tangents – Includes musings on ambergris, legal cheese presses, and why Dave never wants to pluck a bird again. Also: why “Pepe Le Pew” absolutely should be canceled.

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Dave and the team go guest-free for a No Tangent Tuesday that turns into a full-on tangent marathon. From musical instruments to experimental butter alternatives and water buffalo burgers, the crew dives deep into cooking experiments, ingredient terminology, and personal kitchen disasters. As always, the show blends humor, curiosity, and a fair share of chaos.

• Anti-Butter & the Philosophy of Naming – Quinn shares his centrifuge-based “hyper cream” experiment, prompting a spirited discussion about emulsions, accurate naming conventions in cooking, and whether terminology shapes perception and understanding.

• Water Buffalo, Focaccia, and Crotchless Pants – A deep dive into dry-aging local water buffalo, the challenges of focaccia dough structure, and Dave’s bike-seat-induced wardrobe malfunction all spiral into reflections on margarine, genetics, and salt substitutes.

• From Tailored Pork Roll to Chef Boyardee – The crew waxes nostalgic about childhood food hacks, underrated meats like Taylor Pork Roll, and the pitfalls of using imperial measurements, pinches, and cups in recipe writing.

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