Épisodes

  • 526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release]

    526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release]
    Mar 20 2026
    526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release]

    I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one.

    Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy…

    I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.

    One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife.

    So, you probably do…

    But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts.

    Fast forward to today.

    Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection.

    (Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" )

    For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it.

    But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely?

    And your enticing her towards intimacy was filling for her and could even be successful!?

    AND you're not full of fear.

    Is that even possible?

    I think with these insights, you will be well on your way.

    to invite a wife–who is never in the mood–

    to be in the mood!

    [Original Release Date: October 8th, 2021]

    PS - If you are interested in the Men's Masterclass previously mentioned in this podcast, we now have a Men's Foundations Course! Totally free and an incredible resource that has changed so many marriages. You can find more information HERE.

    PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching Program graduate:
    Before MR, miscommunication and emotional distance were our normal. We argued often, and a deep sense of distrust had taken root, largely because I had failed to make our marriage a true priority...The ongoing conflict left me carrying a constant weight of guilt while doing ministry on campus, knowing things at home were not going well...[After MR], I've come to realize that the problem began with me and was fueled by my own selfishness...Shifting from arguing nearly every day—or at least every other day—to having only a handful of disagreements in the past six months has brought a new sense of stability and peace to our home...I now feel equipped with the tools to continue moving our marriage forward.
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    20 min
  • 525-Practicals of Growing Your Intimacy Frequency

    525-Practicals of Growing Your Intimacy Frequency
    Mar 13 2026

    [Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description]

    As silly as it may seem, something as sacred and biblical as marital intimacy comes right down to the practical of "hey, it's just too quiet in the house for intimacy". So, how do you solve for the biggest reasons a couple doesn't connect in this God-honoring way? Well, that's what today's conversation is all about. In this episode, we do a lot less philosophy and theology and get into the specific tools that can help you no matter how busy your life is right now. Even if other things you've looked into haven't given you something practical to do that is attainable. My goal by the end of this episode is for you to consider new things you can implement into your life that can tear down the blocks to intimacy in a practical way. Ultimately, at Delight Your Marriage want to help and make your spouse and marriage feel loved, playful, and even passionate together.
    To read an AI generated summary, click here.

    Belah
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    36 min
  • 524-A Pastor Didn't Expect Marriage Help to Come This Way

    524-A Pastor Didn't Expect Marriage Help to Come This Way
    Mar 6 2026

    [Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description]

    Sometimes I have been asked if I, as a woman, should be teaching men. When it comes up, I really appreciate that question because it shows a level of maturity and commitment to scripture.

    The truth is, I never intended to be coaching or training men. That, in fact, is something I was against, at first. I intended to just follow Titus 2 by inviting women to learn to love their husbands well.

    As I wrote the book and started the podcast and coaching women with this end in mind, men started reaching out to me. It was kind of uncomfortable at first.

    I didn't know what to do with it. They were asking how they could get their wife to listen to my material. "I have no idea. That's on you." I wasn't cold-hearted, I just didn't think it was prudent.

    Well, I was speaking to my husband, and he felt like it would be ok to speak to some of them via email or possibly a phone call, just so I could understand.

    And when I did, I could tell "wow, now I see why she is rejecting". And not only that, I could see that she was really suffering too.

    So with prayer and wise counsel and the blessing of my husband, I went for it and tried a pilot coaching program for men. Amazingly, every single man got amazing results (even though only 1 went through the course -- and she didn't know he did it!)

    Glory to God. From there, we've tweaked and updated and, by God's grace, are at a place where God is doing miracle after miracle here.

    Would love you to hear Aaron's story of the pursuit of God's way in his marriage. As a pastor, he likely had to grapple with this question -- is it ok to be trained by a woman in this topic? And he decided the answer should be yes. You're welcome to check out our convictions surrounding Women in Leadership, here. And the Lord worked in his heart and in his marriage -- even though only he did the work.

    We are so excited to share his story with you!

    Would love to work with you too! delightyourmarriage.com/cc for next steps.

    To read an AI generated summary, click here.

    Belah
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    42 min
  • 523-My Pain > Victim > Rebel > Repentance Journey

    523-My Pain > Victim > Rebel > Repentance Journey
    Feb 27 2026

    [Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description]

    I have grown in my journey of processing pain. But I still slip up.

    Today, I want to share with you a recent insight I've received on what I still need God's help to work through.

    I hope we can walk together, looking at our Savior, first and foremost to discover His purposes for our suffering.

    Your suffering matters.

    It matters to God.

    It matters in His will.

    There is comfort in knowing He has a purpose for it.

    I'd love to share what God is teaching me through His word and what I hope will be encouraging for you in your story.

    Let us be open to being guided by His Word first and foremost. Let us see His correction as His kindness that leads us to repentence because He is so, so good.

    To read an AI generated summary, click here.

    Love & sincere prayers for you my precious listeners,

    Belah

    PS - Quote from a recent graduate:

    After being celibate almost a decade, they are now intimate regularly and both are thrilled!

    Wife: "Overall I'm crazy about the DYM system and process. It worked for us like nothing else did in our 38 years of marriage."

    Husband: "I have learned that God is more important than sex. And sex isn't a reward for doing what I should be doing any way"

    Mic drop. :)

    Would love to invite you to be part of the journey! delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.
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    55 min
  • Ep. 522-A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan's Story

    Ep. 522-A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan's Story
    Feb 20 2026
    A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan's Story There are transformations that happen fast—like a spark, a breakthrough, a moment where everything shifts.And then there are transformations that happen patiently, steadily, layer by layer… over years. Dan's story is that second kind. Because five years ago, Dan wasn't walking around thinking his marriage was "bad." He actually wrote on his intake form that their marriage was probably a six or seven—a good marriage. A steady marriage. A marriage with history and shared life and inside jokes. But there was one ache that wouldn't let him rest: Intimacy had disappeared. And the pain of that—especially when you love your spouse, you're faithful, you're trying, you're confused, and you still can't "fix it"—can start to completely take up your mind. And Dan could feel it happening. So he did what so many people do when they're desperate: he went looking for answers. "This lady knows my pain…" Dan had never been a podcast guy. But when the ache gets loud enough, you'll do things you've never done before. He started listening to podcasts, searching for help, trying to understand. At one point, he even heard a podcaster say something like: Maybe you're not in the right marriage. Maybe you need someone new. And something in him basically said: No. Not here. Not this. Then he found the Delight Your Marriage podcast. And at some point he realized: "This lady knows me. She knows my pain." He listened to tons of episodes back-to-back. And for the first time, he didn't feel crazy. He didn't feel alone. He felt understood. But understanding is only the beginning. When pain starts shaping your identity Dan shared how consuming the pain became. He couldn't focus. He couldn't think about much else. He was constantly running conversations in his mind—replaying, analyzing, spiraling. And this is what matters if you relate: When intimacy is strained, it doesn't just affect your bedroom.It affects your heart. Dan knew his wife loved him. They spent time together. Their life was connected. But intimacy was absent—and that absence created a deep wound. The "last button" moment Dan told the story of how he finally joined the Coaching program. He had passed on signing up a couple times. And then the third time, he went through the whole checkout process… and just didn't click the last button. And he prayed something like: If God wants me to click that button, I'm going to click that button. Then came one of those days—the kind of day you can't focus, can't breathe right, can't stop the frustration boiling under the surface. So he clicked. He even looked it up later: October 16th, 2020. Sometimes obedience doesn't look "spiritual." Sometimes it looks like a trembling hand over a mouse, clicking a button you're scared to click. But God uses that. "I wasn't ready for success yet." Dan's growth wasn't immediate fireworks. It was slow. It was real. And honestly, it was holy. He said something deeply mature: "I probably wasn't ready for a lot of success in the very beginning… I would have misused some of that success." Do you hear the humility in that? He realized that early on, even when he was doing "the right things," his heart motive was still off. He was still doing the work for what he could get. And that's the turning point for so many people. Because you can "apply principles" and still be self-centered.You can "try harder" and still be serving your own appetite.And God loves you too much to let that be the foundation. Dan described the real shift like this: "I'm not doing it for her. I'm doing it for the Lord. And intimacy becomes a byproduct." That is biblical alignment. That is maturity. That is worship. The brotherhood you didn't know you needed Dan thought he'd try the graduate group for a only couple months… because he "didn't do well with whining." Five years later, he's still there. Why? Because what surprised him most wasn't the content—it was the brotherhood. When men get into a room (yes, even a Zoom room), they size each other up. But in this space, men began becoming honest, vulnerable, accountable, and deeply connected. Dan shared: "Once you get through some of the things we deal with… there's not a whole lot left to keep secret." That's not shame. That's freedom. And there is something healing that happens when you're fully seen—and still loved. He described men calling him out when frustration rose. It was painful at the time… but helpful, because those men knew what he truly wanted: to grow his marriage and grow with God. This is what iron sharpening iron looks like in real life. The tools that change daily life Dan mentioned a few practical pieces that became part of his transformation: Daily gratitudesFaith statementsLearning "known, safe, wholeheartedly cherished" These were just a few of the tools he learned through the Coaching program that radically changed his day-to-day, and in turn, his marriage. For example, ...
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    57 min
  • Ep. 521 - Truths Inspiring Me About Confidence and Character — A Conversation with My Son

    Ep. 521 - Truths Inspiring Me About Confidence and Character — A Conversation with My Son
    Feb 14 2026
    Truths Inspiring Me About Confidence and Character — A Conversation with My Son Sometimes the most convicting spiritual lessons don't come from a sermon. They come from hearing a child say something honest— something simple— and realizing God is speaking through it. And as you listen to this conversation about habits, confidence, and walking with Jesus, you may feel that gentle nudge to return to what's true. Lean into that. Because your habits are always taking you somewhere. And the small choices you make today shape who you become tomorrow. You Don't Drift Into Confidence You might think confidence is a personality trait. Something you either have or you don't. But confidence is rarely about personality. It's about formation. It's about what you repeatedly do. When you build habits that align with truth — reading Scripture, practicing gratitude, caring for your body, choosing honesty — something steady begins forming inside of you. Not hype. Not ego. Not loud self-assertion. But quiet strength. And the opposite is also true. When you repeatedly avoid truth, bend honesty, indulge jealousy, or neglect your health, that forms something too. And eventually, that formation becomes your character. You don't wake up one day confident or insecure by accident. You drift there — one habit at a time. What You Feed Your Mind Shapes Your Identity If you only occasionally open your Bible, what fills the gap? Your worries. Your spouse's tone. Your insecurities. The voice in your head that says you're not enough. But when you consistently feed your mind the truth of Scripture, something changes. You begin to live from being cared for. Not striving for approval. Not grasping for validation. But anchored in being loved. You cannot feel confident if you don't believe you are deeply cared for. And that belief doesn't grow accidentally. It grows through repetition. Gratitude Rewires Your Perspective If you only focus on what you don't have, you will start to believe you have nothing. You will compare. You will resent. You will feel behind. And even when you do get what you wanted, it won't satisfy you — because comparison has already shaped your lens. But when you practice gratitude — intentionally naming what is good — you retrain your heart to see abundance. You begin to notice: God has been kind. God has provided. God has not left you alone. Gratitude doesn't ignore pain. It simply refuses to let pain define the whole story. And that builds stability. That builds joy. That builds confidence rooted in truth rather than circumstance. Your Body Matters More Than You Think You are not "just a soul." You are embodied. Jesus didn't come as a concept. He came in flesh. Your body is not accidental. It is not disposable. Scripture calls it a temple of the Holy Spirit. When you neglect your body — through constant exhaustion, poor nourishment, or silent self-criticism — you aren't just affecting your health. You are shaping how you see yourself. And when you care for your body — even in small ways — you are saying: "This matters. God's creation matters." Confidence grows when you respect what God has given you. Not in pride. But in stewardship. The Habit That Quietly Undermines Everything Let's talk about honesty. You may not consider yourself a liar. But do you exaggerate to seem more impressive? Withhold truth to avoid discomfort? Bend the story to protect your image? Lies feel small in the moment. But every time you tell one, something inside you weakens. Because you know the truth. Even if no one else does — you do. And when you repeatedly override your own integrity, you slowly erode your own confidence. You cannot feel strong while betraying yourself. Real confidence is inseparable from integrity. And integrity requires courage — especially when no one is watching. God Delights in Integrity Zephaniah says something stunning: "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." -Zephaniah 3:17 ESV But just before that, it speaks of a people who refuse deceit, who walk humbly, who seek the Lord. "Yes, I will punish those who participate in pagan worship ceremonies, and those who fill their masters' houses with violence and deceit." -Zephaniah 1:9 NLT God delights in truth. God delights in humility. God delights in integrity. Not because He is demanding perfection — but because integrity aligns you with how you were created to live. When you choose honesty. When you confess sin. When you turn from a habit that weakens you — even if you fail again tomorrow — you are stepping toward freedom. You are stepping toward formation. And God delights in that movement. You Are Not Stuck If you're listening and thinking: "I have bad habits." "I've let things slide." "I don't like who I've been becoming." Hear this clearly: You are not stuck. Habits can be unlearned. ...
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    46 min
  • 520-The Deep Theology of Sexual Unity (With Some Fun!): Interview with Randy and Rozanne Frazee

    520-The Deep Theology of Sexual Unity (With Some Fun!): Interview with Randy and Rozanne Frazee
    Feb 6 2026
    The Deep Theology of Sexual Unity (With Some Fun!): Interview with Randy and Rozanne Frazee Many of us were handed a shallow theology of sex — one that quietly divided the spiritual from the physical. But what if intimacy was never meant to be separate from your spiritual formation? What if marriage — even your sex life — is woven into the very story of God Himself? What if sex wasn't just God-permitted — but God-designed? And what if your marriage is part of a much bigger story than managing stress, navigating differences, or even improving your sex life? Because here's the truth: When you start seeing your marriage through God's storyline instead of just your stress and circumstances, something shifts. Not overnight. Not magically. But deeply. Steadily. For real. When you start seeing your marriage through God's storyline instead of just your stress and circumstances, something shifts. Not overnight. Not magically. But deeply. Steadily. For real. And that's exactly what Randy and Rozanne Frazee unpacked in today's episode. In this episode, you're getting a conversation that is both wildly profound and surprisingly fun. Because yes—you can talk about theology, the Trinity, the image of God, and sexual unity… and still laugh. And that's exactly what happens when you sit down with Randy and Rozanne. They've spent decades helping believers understand the Bible not as scattered verses—but as one cohesive story of God's love and pursuit. Randy has been a pastor for 38 years and had a personal mentoring relationship with Dallas Willard—so much so that Dallas asked him to rewrite Renovation of the Heart for students. And Randy and Rozanne are not just brilliant—they're the real deal. High school sweethearts, married 44 years (going on 45), four kids, and now five grandbabies in the mix. What makes this episode so special is this: They don't just talk about the Bible. They talk about how the Bible transforms marriage, unity, and yes… even your sex life. You Keep Reading the Bible Like a Reference Book… But It's Actually a Love Story You've probably been taught to read the Bible in pieces: a Proverb for wisdom a Psalm for comfort a verse for anxiety a passage when your marriage is hard And those are good. But if you only ever grab the Bible for a quick fix, you can miss the whole point: it's one grand love story—from Genesis to Revelation—about the lengths God will go to get you back. When you start seeing Scripture as one unfolding narrative, you stop reading it like a scattered collection of morals… and you start hearing it like a steady message: God is pursuing you. God is restoring you. God is rewriting what sin tried to destroy. And yes—this includes your marriage. You're Not Just Living a Life… You're Living a Story You live in what Randy and Rozanne call the "lower story": Lunches. Laundry. Bills. Hormones. Conversations you're avoiding. Tension you can't name. The ache of feeling alone, even though you're married. And it's real. But there's also an "upper story" happening at the same time: God's bigger plan, God's spiritual reality, God's redemptive work that you can't always see while you're in the middle of the mess. You see it clearly in Scripture: Job experiences devastating loss in his lower story… while an unseen spiritual battle is happening in the upper story. Joseph is betrayed, enslaved, and forgotten in his lower story… but God is positioning him in the upper story to preserve His people. That's why Joseph can say, "What you meant for evil, God meant for good." It doesn't mean the lower story didn't hurt. It means the pain wasn't the point. So ask yourself: What if the hard thing you're living through right now isn't proof you're failing… but proof God is working? God Created Marriage to Reflect His Image—and Sin Has Been Trying to Ruin It Ever Since You've heard the phrase "two become one." But you might not realize how sacred that actually is. Marriage wasn't just meant to be companionship. It was meant to reflect something divine: unity, love, covenant, oneness. In the beginning, God says, "It is not good for man to be alone." And you can read that like, "Aw, God wanted Adam to have a friend." But it's deeper. God Himself is relationship—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Not isolated. Not independent. Not self-focused. Unity. So when God creates marriage, He's not just giving Adam a partner. He's giving humanity a living picture of His image. And that's why the enemy attacks it so relentlessly. Because if your marriage reflects God's love, covenant, and unity… it becomes a threat to darkness. You Can Know Scripture… and Still Not Live It One of the most powerful themes Randy and Rozanne address is something you've probably seen too: You've met people who know the Bible. They can quote verses. They can correct theology. They can debate Greek words. And yet… They aren't gentle. They aren't kind. They aren't tender. And you're left thinking...
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    1 h et 14 min
  • 519-Have Compassion on Your Husband's God-Given Desire

    519-Have Compassion on Your Husband's God-Given Desire
    Jan 30 2026
    Have Compassion on Your Husband's Desire This is a tender topic. And for some of you, even reading this headline might make your chest tighten. Because desire can feel complicated. Painful. Loaded. Or honestly… just exhausting. And yet, this conversation matters—not to shame you, not to pressure you, but to invite you into compassion. Not obligation. Not fear. Not duty-driven compliance. Compassion rooted in God's design for marriage. The Enemy Thrives on Distraction One of the enemy's most effective strategies in marriage is not always obvious sin. It's distraction. Distance. Avoidance. Silence. When sexual intimacy is broken in a marriage—when it's infrequent, half-hearted, or consistently avoided—it quietly becomes a distraction for both spouses. Especially your husband. Not because he's weak. Not because he's demanding. But because sexual intimacy is not a small issue in his life—it is deeply connected to how God designed him. When that connection is missing, it costs him far more than you may realize. Your Husband's Desire Is Not Separate From Who He Is Your husband's sexual desire is not something he can simply turn off. It is woven into his physical design, his emotional wiring, and his sense of being wanted and chosen. When that desire is consistently rejected, it creates real pain—often silent pain. Pain that takes up mental space, affects focus, and drains confidence and steadiness. Just as hunger dominates attention when the body is not nourished, deprivation in intimacy dominates attention when a husband does not know if—or when—connection will happen again. God Did Not Design Sex to Be Optional in Marriage Scripture is clear. "Do not deprive each other." (1 Corinthians 7:5) This is not a suggestion. It is not conditional on feelings. It is not shaped by cultural norms. God designed sexual intimacy to be part of the covenant of marriage—for unity, protection, and connection. This does not mean ignoring trauma. This does not mean tolerating coercion or manipulation. This does not mean silencing wisdom or boundaries. But it does mean that long-term deprivation is outside God's design—and He does not give commands without also offering grace and a path toward healing. If Intimacy Feels Difficult, There Is a Reason If moving toward intimacy feels heavy, forced, or emotionally overwhelming, there is almost always something beneath the surface. Shame about your body. Fear of being used. Past sexual pain or trauma. Resentment that has not healed. Pressure that replaced joy. Messages that taught you sex was dangerous, dirty, or merely a duty. These blocks are real and they deserve attention. But they do not get the final word. God is not asking you to ignore your story—He is inviting you to bring it into the light where healing is possible. Intimacy Was Designed to Be Good God designed marital intimacy to be: Naked and unashamed Enjoyed, not endured Protective, not destructive A celebration of union Scripture celebrates this openly, without embarrassment. Your husband was designed to enjoy the female form, and God gave him exactly one holy place to do that: within marriage. When that place becomes closed off, the cost is deeper than most couples realize. Start Before You Feel Ready Waiting until everything feels healed often means waiting indefinitely. Freedom usually follows obedience—not the other way around. Consistency matters more than perfection. Even choosing regular, predictable intimacy—without everything feeling "fixed"—can begin to rebuild safety, quiet anxiety, and soften resistance. When intimacy is rare, it becomes a mountain. When it is steady, it becomes normal. When it is generous, it becomes life-giving. Your Marriage Was Meant to Be Missional Marriage was never designed to exist only for comfort. It was designed to strengthen both spouses for the work God has called them to do. Healthy intimacy does not distract from God's purposes—it supports them. But when intimacy is withheld, it often becomes the very distraction Scripture warns against. Your compassion has power. It can steady your husband. It can protect your marriage. It can remove a burden he may be carrying quietly. Final Encouragement If this stirred something in you—conviction, grief, resistance, or even hope—don't rush past it. That stirring matters. God does not expose something in your heart to shame you. He does it to heal you. You are not being asked to become someone else overnight. You are being invited to take one faithful step—today—toward compassion, obedience, and freedom. There is grace for the journey. There is wisdom for the next step. And there is hope—more than you may be able to see right now. You are not alone. And God is not finished here. Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you want help walking through this with wisdom and care, we would love to come alongside you. Book a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. PPS - Here is a ...
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    53 min