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Few things cause as much stress, anxiety and fear as the process of divorce. Much of that comes from the "not knowing" piece of the process and on this episode of Divorce Curious, my goal is to fill in as many blanks for you as possible about what to expect from the process with the expert guidance of Indiana-based family law attorney, and proud mom of 7, Portland Schnitzius.

This isn't just your standard list of do's and don'ts, but a heartfelt and well intentioned conversation to give you a real taste of what to expect if you're considering getting a divorce and how you can best prepare yourself for what may lie ahead in the process for you.

Key themes in this episode include financial control and recognizing emotional abuse in your marriage.

There was so much great info that came during my conversation with Portland that this will be shared in a Part 1/Part 2 style so make sure you listen to both episodes so you can soak in all of Portland's wisdom. You don't want to miss any of this important conversation, I promise you that!

*disclaimer: Portland practices in Indiana so this guidance is through her experience with the family law guidelines in that state. This is not specific legal advice, so please consult with your own attorney for next steps and guidance in your specific situation.

Key Takeaways:

• Divorce can be a complex and emotional journey, you don't want to try to navigate it on your own.
• Understanding financial control and abuse is crucial for those in toxic relationships.
• Social media has played a significant role in raising awareness about unhealthy relationships.
• Many individuals feel empowered to seek divorce after recognizing their situation is not normal.
• The legal landscape of divorce includes both assets and debts, regardless of whose name they are in.
• Financial independence is essential for anyone considering divorce.
• The emotional toll of divorce can be mitigated by gathering information and resources.
• Women often report wishing they had divorced sooner after the process is complete.
• The level of conflict in divorces has increased since COVID-19.
• Therapists and legal professionals are increasingly recognizing patterns of emotional abuse.

About Portland:

Portland Schnitzius is an attorney licensed in the State of Indiana since 1993. She has been practicing family law for over a decade in areas such as divorces, paternity cases (contested matters between never married parents), adoptions, child custody/parenting time disputes, co-parenting disputes, guardianships and child support. She is a graduate of Indiana University McKinney school of Law in Indianapolis, Indiana and her office is located in a suburb of Indianapolis – Fishers Indiana. She is an Indiana Supreme Court registered domestic mediator, a Guardian Ad Litem, a Parenting Coordinator serving high conflict co-parents, and is trained in collaborative divorce. She enjoys volunteer work with Kids Voice of Indiana serving as an advocate for children and youth in the family court system.

She was born and raised in Southern California and graduated from Pepperdine University, Malibu. She has been married for 37 years, a mother

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Sometimes I get shocked. Sometimes I get surprised. Sometimes I get both. This interview with Stephanie Sadural was one of those times.

I enjoy intrigue and being surprised. Because of that, there are some interviews I do where I don't know the guest well and I don't know much at all about their story. You learn about them and their story at the same time I do, as they share themselves with us here on the podcast. Unfiltered and real. Just the way I like it!

There is so much to unpack in this episode as Stephanie shares the unexpected twist and turns in her marriage, how her husband revealing he was bisexual, and then gay, created an opportunity for them to love each other and their family in a deeper way, and what life looks like now as she's settled into the next chapter of life and love, doing things in her own way this time around.

The most shocking part of this story to me wasn't the revelations or the unusual changes in their day-to-day family life, it was the immense amount of compassion, love and patience that Stephanie displays through it all.

I'd like to think I could be so gracious but I fear I would not be. I can be a petty queen when my feelings are hurt or someone betrays me.

I hope that this episode, and Stephanie's example, challenges you to love others better, love unconditionally even when it's really hard, and embrace all the things that you love about yourself as fully as you possibly can.

Takeaways From The Episode:

• Understanding identity shifts is crucial in relationships.
• Open communication is key during marital challenges.
• Compartmentalizing emotions can help in legal matters during divorce, it can be lengthy and draining.
• Support systems play a vital role in navigating divorce.
• Every divorce story is unique and personal.
• Finding peace of mind is invaluable during transitions. Acceptance is crucial when facing an immovable situation.
• Emotional processing can be visualized as swimming through jello.
• Separating emotional issues from financial matters is essential during divorce.
• Open communication with an ex-partner can aid in emotional healing.
• Co-parenting can be successful with mutual respect and collaboration.
• New relationships can bring peace of mind when trust is established.
• Maintaining friendships with ex-partners can lead to healthier family dynamics.

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