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Domestic Violence, Power & Control, and Why “Just Leaving” Isn’t Simple

Domestic Violence, Power & Control, and Why “Just Leaving” Isn’t Simple

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In this episode, Melissa and Susan start with some lighter talk - fresh paint on the Grove building, skeletons in Santa hats, and small ways they’re trying to brighten the darker months - before gently shifting into a heavy but necessary conversation: domestic violence. They walk through the Power and Control Wheel, unpacking how abuse isn’t just physical, but can look like emotional abuse, financial control, isolation, gaslighting, threats, and using children as leverage.

They talk about why it’s never as simple as “why doesn’t she just leave,” how trauma bonding and intermittent kindness keep people stuck, and why safety planning and support are so crucial. Melissa and Susan also offer ideas for what to say (and what not to say) when someone you love may be in an abusive relationship, and share both national and local resources like Avalon and Genesis for those in the Upper Cumberland. The episode closes with an invitation to regulate, move your body, find connection, and remember: you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect - always.

Remember that listening to this podcast is not therapy. It might be therapeutic, but it isn’t a replacement for good mental health treatment. We can help with getting you connected with a good therapist. Check out our website.

Grove: A Healing Collective

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