If the idea of playing Barbies or dragons makes you groan… you’re not alone.

In this episode, Justin and Kylie tackle a parenting confession that many are afraid to admit: “I don’t like playing with my kids.” Drawing from emotional intelligence research and real-life experience, they unpack why play matters (even if it’s not your favourite), how to make it meaningful and manageable, and why it’s one of the simplest ways to build connection, confidence, and emotional regulation in your child.

KEY POINTS

• Play is not a luxury—it’s essential.
  Play builds emotional intelligence, connection, and social skills better than almost anything else.
• It’s not about doing it ‘right’.
  Play works best when it’s spontaneous, simple, and mutually enjoyable—not when it’s forced or scripted.
• The emotional impact is profound.
  Play regulates emotions, reduces tension, strengthens relationships, and helps kids feel seen, heard, and valued.
• The secret is in the interaction.
  What makes play powerful is the back-and-forth: the jokes, the giggles, the shared creativity—not the activity itself.
• A little goes a long way.
  Just 5–10 minutes of intentional play can fill your child’s emotional cup and help them play independently afterwards.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Play is not about perfection—it’s about connection and presence.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Happy Families Membership – parenting tools & webinars
• happyfamilies.com.au – resources for raising emotionally intelligent kids
• Shift by Ethan Kross

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Find a 5–10 minute window each day
   You don’t need hours. Commit to short, fully present bursts of play—no phones, no multitasking.
2. Gamify the mundane
   Turn routines into playful challenges: “Can you hop to the bathroom on one foot?” or “Let’s race to tidy up.”
3. Let your child lead
   Ask: “How could we make this more fun?” Give them a sense of autonomy and watch their creativity bloom.
4. Prioritise connection over performance
   You’re not there to entertain—you’re there to engage. Drop the pressure, enjoy the moment.
5. Repeat. Consistency is the win.
   Over time, this builds emotional strength, stronger relationships, and memories that last.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are your phone habits impacting your child’s growth?
We all know kids and screens don’t mix well—but what about parents and screens? A compelling new study has uncovered a strong link between a mother’s screen time and her child’s developmental outcomes. In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the latest research on "technoference" and what happens to our children when our eyes are glued to our devices. The results may just change the way you use your phone—especially around your kids.

KEY POINTS:

• Study Summary: Japanese research of ~4,000 mother-child pairs found that more than one hour of screen use by mums in front of their children correlates with lower language and social development.
• Two Hours or More: Greater than two hours was associated with lower global development outcomes.
• Technoference: The distraction of devices interrupts “serve and return” interactions—vital for healthy child development.
• Modelling Matters: Kids mimic their parents—mums who use screens more are more likely to have kids who use them too.
• TV vs. Devices: Passive screen time (TV) is less harmful than interactive, overstimulating device use—but still not ideal.
• Screen Time ≠ Quality Learning: Despite nostalgic memories of “learning” from Sesame Street, research shows TV is a poor teacher compared to real-world engagement.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"Screens are a hollow imitation of real life... real development happens in person-to-person, face-to-face interactions."

RESOURCES:

• The study published in Nature Scientific Reports (March 2025)
• Unplugged Parenthood: Reducing Screen Time to Strengthen Family Connections [Article]
• Happy Families website: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Be Present: Put down your phone when you're with your child—especially in those early years.
2. Set Boundaries: Limit both your own and your child’s screen time with simple routines (e.g., no phones at the table or during playtime).
3. Model Mindful Use: Show kids what healthy tech habits look like—because they’re watching.
4. Prioritise Engagement: Make time for face-to-face chats, shared play, and reading together—real-life interactions build real brains.
5. Use Screens Intentionally: If you need a break, opt for TV over devices, and choose age-appropriate, narrative-driven content.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boys take risks. They push limits. They scare us. But underneath all that danger is an ancient drive to grow up and belong. In this deeply eye-opening conversation with Dr Arne Rubinstein, we unpack why boys behave this way, the missing “rite of passage” that modern culture has abandoned, and what parents can do today to help boys become grounded, respectful, and emotionally mature young men. This episode delivers clarity, relief, and practical steps every family needs.

KEY POINTS

• Boys are wired for risk — if adults don’t create safe challenges, they’ll create their own.

• Cultures worldwide share four rite-of-passage elements: storytelling, challenge, visioning, and honouring.

• Without that process, boys can grow into adult men with boy psychology (self-centred, entitled, emotionally volatile).

• Dads, mums, and male role models each play a critical role — but the village matters for every boy.

• Early parenting is crucial: strong relationships, fair boundaries, shared stories, and responsibilities build maturity.

• Single mums can create support through uncles, mentors, friends, and community.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Every boy will go through a rite of passage. The question is whether he creates it himself — or whether we create something appropriate for him.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Dr Arne Rubinstein — Rites of Passage Institute

• The Making of Men (book)

• Happy Families Bringing Up Boys Summit

• The Miss-Connection Summit is also available
• Sign up here to be the first to news about Justin's new book 'Boys'

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Create 1:1 connection time — device-free and regular.

2. Share stories from your own adolescence — including failures and learnings.

3. Acknowledge strengths — notice what goes right.

4. Teach reflection before correction — ask what they think first.

5. Pair privileges with responsibility — avoid entitlement.

6. Build the village — involve mentors, relatives, teachers, coaches.

7. Separate the child from the behaviour — “I love you, but this isn’t okay.”

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.