Men, close your eyes and picture yourself leaving Rapunzel up in her tower to cut off her own hair and use it as a rope to climb down to freedom. Could you do it? I know you’re born with a biological desire to rescue a damsel in distress. That’s natural and normal and even good in many cases. Guys want to fix and rescue. But the truth is that it’s not always possible.

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It doesn’t matter if you’re a glass half-full or a glass half-empty person. You immediately get an image in your mind and understand what I’m trying to convey when I reference a glass and its state of fullness. Visualization is my favorite way to make a point. Especially when people are upset and getting catastrophic, visualization can quickly help put things into perspective.

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Of all life’s many challenges, having a child with serious health or developmental issues is among the worst. Parents can be consumed with worry, fear and a sense of dread. On top of that, social beings naturally compare themselves to others… mothers are always gauging their own children’s successes or failures against the kids of friends and family. When your child is not able to grow and learn like others, it’s heartbreaking.

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Can you go on to be a good parent if you had a really terrible childhood? The answer is, yes. People who've had horrible childhood experiences can become good parents, although the stats aren't great.

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One of the biggest problems I've run across in recent years of taking calls on the Dr. Laura Program is of adult, married, (mostly) women who allow themselves to be emotionally drained by their demanding, needy, mentally unstable mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. Those calls infuriate me.

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Today’s Deep Dive is inspired by a special hour of the Dr. Laura program when I invited adult children to call in and talk about how their parents’ infidelity affected their family and their lives.

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Why would a man risk losing his wife and his kids by having an affair? I devoted a whole hour of the Dr. Laura program talking to women who stayed with their husbands after discovering they had been unfaithful. And that prompted this special segment with men calling in to talk about why they had jeopardized marriage and family for sex on the side. I think you’ll find it enlightening…

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When a couple with young kids comes to me for help after an infidelity, I’m going to ask if it was a one-time thing or a pattern of behavior. It's also important to know HOW the affair ended. Did they stop just because they got caught? Did the other person do the dumping? Or did your spouse come to his or her senses? These details matter because, when children are involved, it’s not so simple to walk away. Your kids will suffer greatly. If we’re not talking about a gross pattern of behavior and if there is remorse and a sincere desire to repair the damage, I’m likely going to suggest you stay and try to work on the marriage.

Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com

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