Sixty seconds? It takes almost 60 seconds to say your name!' 'Oh, how very droll!'

_ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation. floydsvoice@gmail.com

'While Cupid sends arrows of love, watch out — cupidity can have a nasty sting!' _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Terry: By Jove, that was some email, Ken. I’m sure Sue will be moved. Ken: You read my private email? Terry: You accidentally sent it to the entire office staff. Ken: No... I’m ruined! Terry: Oh, dear, never mind, I'm sure things will pick up! (He said with an inner smile.) __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Reading Rudyard Kipling (30th December 1865 –18th January 1936) was one of the most influential English writers of his time. In 1907 he received the Nobel Prize in Literature — the first English-language writer to earn it, and still the youngest person ever to do so.

Kipling’s If—, written in 1895 and published in 1910, is a poem of advice to someone coming of age, offering guidance on character, courage, and the making of an adult. He framed it as a father’s advice to a son entering young adulthood. Note: The reading was recorded with a faint vinyl record effect in the background. __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Pulchritudinous. 'puhl·kruh·choo·duh·nuhs'

‘‘Did you hear Marie has opened a new flower shop?’ ‘No, what’s it called?’ ‘The Pulchritudinous Florist.’ ‘Who, Marie or the flowers?’ ‘Both.’ __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Reading Henry Archibald Hertzberg Lawson (17th June 1867 – 2nd September 1922) was an Australian writer and bush poet. Regarded as one of the best-known Australian poets and fiction writers of his time, he is often referred to as Australia's 'greatest short story writer.' Problem with ghosts? Call Ally! In Henry Lawson’s tale “We Called Him ‘Ally’ for Short”, a hillside fencer has a problem with a ghost — there’s only one solution: Alligator Desolation! Note: The reading was recorded with a faint vinyl effect in the background. __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Even at a young age, Rosie was delightfully loquacious and engaging. __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

‘Henry, Mr and Mrs Pugnacious would like to come over at the weekend for a discussion.’ ‘What? Quick, Martha — book the next flight to Coober Pedy! Surely we’ll be safe there?’

(When Mr and Mrs Pugnacious want to “have a word,” it’s time to make a run for the outback!)

_ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.