On this episode of The Regular Guy Movie Show, we dive head-first into Empire Records — a movie with a killer soundtrack, a mountain of nostalgia… and more structural problems than the building code should legally allow.

We revisit this 90s cult favorite with 30 years of life experience, far better taste in movies, and absolutely no patience for Lucas’s philosophical nonsense. Along the way, we confront the film’s chaotic tone, its missing 40 minutes, its baffling character decisions, and the bold creative choice to have Joe commit aggravated battery behind closed doors and then go right back to work like nothing happened.

And yes… we talk about Rex Manning Day. And yes… it’s as awkward as you remember.

• The Empire Records Rewatch Experience

Why this movie still feels fun, even when absolutely nothing in it makes sense anymore.

• Lucas: Agent of Philosophical and Financial Disaster

We try (and fail) to understand this man’s motivations, life choices, worldview, and math skills.

• Corey& A.J.: A Love Story Nobody Asked For

Meltdowns, amphetamines, terrible timing, and unclear motivations make this the least romantic romance ever filmed.

• Joe & Lucas: The Most Confusing Father-Son Dynamic Ever Written

Was he a foster kid? Why does Joe hit him? Why does nobody react to this? Why is Joe’s entire retirement plan destroyed by one teenager’s night of craps? We ask all the questions the movie doesn’t.

• The Soundtrack: Certified Banger After Banger

One of the only things the movie nails perfectly — and we celebrate it.

• Our “Grammarly Butchered Lyrics” Game

Iconic soundtrack songs rewritten like they were edited by an emotionally dead corporate proofreader. Justin and Brian suffer. You benefit.

Damn the Man. Save the Empire. Hydrate between beers.

Listen to The Regular Guy Movie Show wherever you get your podcasts, and visit regularguymovieshow.com to suggest the next questionable classic we take on. While there, check out our blog or listen to previous show episodes.

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