This episode centers on a raw, honest conversation about men, affirmation, and the emotional wiring that often goes unspoken. The Bryan, Kellen and Thad break down why so many men rank words of affirmation at the top of their love-language list—not because they need encouragement to take action, but because they crave recognition after doing what they were already designed to do.
Men are internally wired to “conquer.” Men don’t need to be told to work hard, provide, protect, or push forward. That drive comes built in. Yet they still long to hear “I’m proud of you” and “I see what you did.” That desire doesn’t make them weak it reveals a deep relational design.
The 300 analogies for approval matters highlight the moment in 300 when King Leonidas looks to the queen for a subtle nod before acting. Even a revered warrior, feared and respected by all, still craves the approval of the one person who truly knows him. Men, by nature, want to take action but they want their partner “in it with them.”
When affirmation is missing, resentment grows. Men will still work, still fight, still provide. But without words of affirmation from the person they are doing life with, what once felt purposeful begins to feel empty. Over time, lack of encouragement creates emotional hollowness and resentment, even toward the very responsibilities they were designed to carry.
The relational weight women often don’t see is how powerful their words are. Encouragement isn’t about ego it is fuel. A simple “I notice you” can carry a man through enormous responsibility, stress, and expectation.
Affirmation begins in childhood with children especially boys naturally looking for approval. When that approval is inconsistent or absent growing up, it shapes the adult love languages they crave most. Many men are still trying to receive words they never heard as boys.
Men need partnership, not perfection. A woman doesn’t have to provide, protect, or carry the load. She brings value by offering belief, confidence, and partnership joining him in the mission instead of adding weight to it.
Men are built to carry heavy loads, compete, and provide. But even strong, driven, masculine men need recognition from the person closest to them. It’s not about validation for the job—it’s about relational connection.
Affirmation doesn’t create the man; it strengthens him.
Bryan Smith Facebook page:
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Band Of Brothers Tulsa Area:
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Plumbline Ministries Inc.-Stickman Teaching:
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Dec 13 202551 min