The lights are bright, the music is loud, and everywhere you look someone is telling you to be merry—while your home carries an empty seat. We open the door to a different way of doing the holidays after a death, one that honors grief, protects your energy, and still makes space for your kids’ sparkle when they have it.

Together, Erin and Colleen name the reality many parents feel but rarely say out loud: traditions can hurt, “firsts” can ambush you, and rest isn’t optional. You’ll hear practical ways to simplify without guilt, set boundaries with family, and create a comfort space you can slip into for ten quiet minutes. We reframe asking for help as a deep act of connection and share a simple system—a visible task list and a trusted point person—to turn offers into real support. Plans are written in pencil, not Sharpie, so you can leave early, skip what stings, or try something new this year and return to old rituals later.

We also focus on kids’ needs. Use gentle, open prompts—“I wonder what you’re wondering”—to invite questions about the death, the person who died, and the season ahead. Blend conversation with movement: toss a balloon while you talk, shoot hoops and trade memories, or step outside to discharge extra energy. These small, playful rituals help children regulate big feelings and make remembering feel safe. And when their eyes light up for traditions you can’t carry alone, enlist your circle—let an aunt handle teacher gifts or a friend lead tree decorating for an hour—so kids feel supported without you burning out.

If the person’s absence feels like the loudest voice in the room, say it. Honesty lowers the pressure to be “okay” and teaches others how to support you. Press play for language you can use today, strategies you can try tonight, and permission to do only what your heart and body can hold. If this episode helps, please subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find their way to these tools.

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For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org