The more relationships you've had, the better you are at love. Not worse. Not damaged. Better.

In this episode, I explore the neuroscience and psychology of why multiple committed relationships—or evolving through phases in one long relationship—actually make you a better partner.

You'll discover:

• Why your brain literally rewires with each relationship

• The 3 core insights every relationship teaches you (what you need, how your nervous system responds, what real love looks like)

• Why the real learning happens AFTER the relationship ends—when your nervous system finally calms

• How to extract wisdom from past relationships through 3 powerful practices

• Why "The One" is a myth and what actually matters in building lasting love

Key insight: If you're in the Re-discovery Phase right now—after divorce, breakup, or loss—you're in the most powerful learning window of your life. Not because the pain is gone, but because your nervous system is finally regulated enough to process what happened without being overwhelmed.

Practice 1: The Relationship Inventory

For each significant relationship, ask yourself: • What did this relationship teach me about myself? • What did I learn about what I need in a partner? • What patterns showed up that I want to change? • What moments made me feel most alive?

Practice 2: The Nervous System Audit

Reflect on your conflict responses: • How did I show up in conflict? (Shut down? Escalate? Run? Cling?) • What triggers caused me to shift out of feeling safe? • Is that how I want to show up next time? • What healing work do I need to do?

Practice 3: The Gratitude Practice

Write a letter to your former partner (you don't have to send it): • Thank them for the moments of joy • Thank them for showing you what you need • Thank them for the ways they helped you grow, even if the relationship ended painfully

This isn't about excusing bad behavior—it's about reclaiming your power. When you can find gratitude in the pain, you're no longer a victim of your past. You're a student of it.

Remember: You are not damaged by your past relationships. You are educated by them. The best relationships aren't built by people who've never been hurt—they're built by people who've been hurt, learned from it, and chosen to stay open anyway.

Connect:

Instagram/TikTok: @the_anchor_method

Website: findyouranchors.com

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