In this insightful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer welcomes Tahara DeBarrows, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss alexithymia—a personality trait often described as "emotional blindness." Tahara DeBarrows explains what alexithymia is, how it impacts relationships and personal well-being, and offers practical advice on how individuals can develop emotional awareness. The conversation also touches on trauma, neurodivergence, and the importance of seeking help without stigma. Listeners will leave with a deeper understanding of emotional processing and actionable strategies to support themselves or loved ones.

Topics Covered:

• What alexithymia is and how it manifests
• Emotional awareness and emotional vocabulary
• Neurodivergence: autism, ADHD, and its relationship to alexithymia
• Impact of emotional blindness in relationships and parenting
• The role of trauma in developing alexithymia
• Gender and cultural aspects of emotional expression
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and emotional wheels
• Somatic therapies and mindfulness
• Trauma-informed approaches in therapy
• Practical steps for supporting someone with emotional blindness

Key Takeaways:

• Alexithymia is not a mental health disorder but a personality trait, often described as emotional blindness.
• Emotional blindness can develop as a survival strategy, particularly in traumatic or emotionally disconnected environments.
• Both neurodivergent individuals and those with trauma histories may be more likely to experience alexithymia.
• Emotional vocabulary can be strengthened; skills like identifying and naming emotions can be learned and mastered.
• CBT, emotional wheels, and somatic therapies are effective tools for building emotional awareness.
• Seeking therapy is not a sign of being "crazy"—it's a step towards better self-understanding and well-being.
• Grace, patience, and modeling emotional language can support loved ones struggling with emotional blindness.
• Trauma-informed care prioritizes the client’s needs and equips them with coping skills for triggers.

The Six Best Quotes:

1. "It's not a mental health disorder. It's really just an emotional processing kind of issue." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
2. "Identifying emotions could be a skill. Meaning that it can be taught, it can be learned, it can be mastered." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
3. "We go to medical doctors for physical symptoms... What's the difference with seeing a therapist for mental health issues?" –
   Tahara DeBarrows
4. "The reality of it, usually we feel worse before we feel better when we start to uncover those feelings because we were so avoidant before. But there's hope." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
5. "If you're the one in the relationship who knows how to identify their emotions, you can kind of model what you want that to look like." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
6. "Trauma-informed means I'm just putting the client first... with a lot of grace and a lot of care for these individuals who've gone through a lot and have developed things like alexithymia." –
   Tahara DeBarrows

Connect with the Guest:

• Website: ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
• Email: info@ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
• Blog: Men with Alexithymia (find under Blogs section on the website)

Resources List:

• A Journey to Healing Counseling –Tahara DeBarrows's practice (Connecticut & Florida)
• Blog: Men with Alexithymia
• CBT Worksheets: Available under Services and Professional Development on ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
• Emotional Wheel: Search "emotional wheel" on Google for printable charts
• Somatic therapies & mindfulness practices (referenced as body scanning and progressive muscle relaxation)
• For specific therapy and information, contact info@ajourneytohealingcounseling.com