In this conversation, SC Nealy and I discuss the impact of beliefs and oppressive systems on the creation of trauma, emphasizing the need for healthier approaches to spirituality and community involvement. We discuss their work in the LGBTQ+ community, with their dedication to the intersection of mental health and social involvement, where the role of the therapist doesn't just exist in the therapeutic space, but extends into advocacy for civil rights and support for minorities. Rather than promoting a binary choice of religious or secularism, we discuss the need for resources that support individuals who choose to remain within religious and/or spiritual communities while avoiding harmful ideologies.

SC Nealy, LPC (they/she) is a therapist and owner of an all queer and trans-identifying therapy practice in Washington, DC that focuses on bringing therapists with lived experiences to the LGBT+ population. They specialize in religious trauma work and their first non-fiction book, Healing Sacred Wounds, will be published by Bloomsbury in Fall 2026. Visit lgbtcounselingdmv.com for more information, or follow SC Nealy online at @scnealy on Instagram and @booksbysarahrobinson on Facebook.

www.lgbtcounselingdmv.com

www.instagram.com/scnealy

www.facebook.com/booksbysarahrobinson

Beliefs and oppressive systems can cause trauma.

Spirituality can exist without harming others.

Resources for deconstruction are often limited.

Not everyone is ready to deconstruct their beliefs.

Healthy engagement in religious communities is possible.

Creating spaces for those who choose to stay is important.

Support for mental health within religious contexts is needed.

Deconstructing is not the only path to healing.

Community health can be prioritized in spiritual practices.

In this conversation, I talk with Heather Hester exploring the themes of parenting, identity, and the significance of traditions, particularly around Halloween and the upcoming holidays.

Heather Hester is the host of the podcast More Human. More Kind., and the author of Parenting with Pride. As a speaker, coach, and LGBTQ+ advocate, she helps parents, allies, and organizations move from fear to fierce, informed love with clarity, compassion, and courage. She believes in the magic of connection and that kindness and belonging aren't just a feeling, they're a practice.

We discuss the importance of allowing children to express themselves through costumes, the need for curiosity in parenting, and the value of setting boundaries in relationships. We also touch on the evolution of family traditions and the necessity of reevaluating what works for families as they grow and change. Ultimately, we encourage people to embrace change, explore new experiences, and prioritize authenticity in their lives.

Halloween is a time for kids to explore their identities through costumes.

Parents should encourage curiosity about their children's choices.

Traditions can evolve and should be reevaluated over time.

Setting boundaries in relationships is essential for personal growth.

It's okay to feel grief and sadness when traditions change.

Family gatherings should prioritize open communication and respect for boundaries.

Life is too short to be controlled by others' expectations.

Embracing change can lead to new and fulfilling experiences.

Parents should allow their children to express themselves freely.

The importance of authenticity in family dynamics.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back

01:22 Halloween Traditions and Family Dynamics

04:35 Exploring Identity Through Costumes

10:14 The Importance of Curiosity in Parenting

15:43 Navigating Social Expectations and Personal Growth

22:22 Evolving Family Traditions and Personal Reflections

24:15 Reevaluating Traditions and Relationships

35:18 Empowerment and Setting Boundaries

39:48 Redefining Holiday Gatherings and Traditions

Elliott, aka Secular Rarity, is a secular community builder who has worked with many different organizations over the years. He is the founder and current President of Secular Rising US, a non-profit dedicated to connecting and supporting atheists, humanists, and secular-minded people. He is also a founder of The Conversation Coalition, a monthly gathering where believers and nonbelievers have challenging yet cordial conversations on topics most people avoid.

Site: http://www.secularrisingus.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SecularRisingUS/

Recovering from Religion: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/

Reclaim Your Life, a class on moving forward from religious trauma: https://life-weavings.thinkific.com/products/courses/reclaim-your-life