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Finding Joy, Choice, and Control: A Conversation with Nicki Keohohou

Finding Joy, Choice, and Control: A Conversation with Nicki Keohohou

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 "People aren't broken," she told me. "Our job is not to fix them. It's to hold them whole and complete." On this episode of On the Brink, I had the privilege of speaking with a remarkable woman whose life journey embodies resilience, reinvention, and the profound power of choosing joy. Nicki Keohohou—bestselling author, award-winning entrepreneur, global speaker, and founder of Coach School—joined me from her home in Hawaii to reflect on the experiences that shaped her, the wisdom she teaches, and the mindset shifts we all need in today's uncertain world. Nicki's path wasn't linear. She began as a teacher helping children build self-esteem and confidence. She later moved into her family's business, then into the world of direct selling, where she discovered her love for helping people grow. That passion evolved into founding the Direct Selling Women's Alliance and ultimately creating Coach School—programs that train leaders, educators, executives, and couples to coach through empathy, inquiry, and empowerment rather than advice-giving. What unifies Nicki's story is a belief that has guided her since childhood: life is abundant, people are capable, and every moment contains a choice. Watch our Podcast here on YouTube: The Power of Coaching: Asking Instead of Telling Nicki admits she wasn't a natural coach at first. Like many leaders, she began by telling people what to do. But she soon realized that the most powerful breakthroughs happen when people discover their own answers. She teaches coaching not just to executives, but to educators, medical professionals, sales teams—and even couples—because the skill of asking empowering questions transforms how people think, communicate, and relate. Her philosophy is simple: When people find their own solutions, they own them. And when they own them, they act. Why We're All Struggling Right Now Nicki works around the world, and she sees what many of us feel: people are more anxious, overwhelmed, and uncertain than ever. The economy, politics, global tensions, and constant disruption amplify our sense of helplessness. Her response? A model she teaches called "the bagel." The outer ring—the disempowerment zone—contains everything we cannot control (other people's opinions, world events, the economy, traffic, the past). The center—the empowerment zone—holds what we can control (our thoughts, our choices, our words, our actions, the meaning we assign to events). Most people live on the outer ring. Nicki helps them move to the center. How to Shift Your Mindset (Even in Hard Times) Many of Nicki's insights come from deeply personal experiences—including a devastating fall in Dubai that led to multiple surgeries, months of rehabilitation, and time spent in a nursing home. Instead of asking "Why me?" she asked: "What can I do with this situation?" She coached the staff. She uplifted patients. She even unknowingly taught a woman through the wall who listened to every class and filled an entire notebook with lessons. Her message is clear: You may not choose what happens to you, but you always choose how you respond. Key Takeaways from Nicki Keohohou 1. Happiness is a choice—and a practice. You can always look for what's wrong or what's right. Your mind will believe whichever story you tell it. 2. What you feed your mind at night shapes your next day. Avoid violent TV, tense news, or negative scrolling before bed. Instead ask: What is the best thing that happened today? What am I grateful for? 3. Self-coaching questions can instantly shift your emotional state. Try: How would I prefer to feel right now? What's the opposite of this thought? What do I actually have control over in this moment? 4. Joy compounds when shared. A smile, a kind comment, or a small gesture changes not just someone else's day—it elevates your own. 5. Simplicity reduces stress. Choose calm over drama. Choose presence over pressure. Choose perspective over frustration. Actionable Advice You Can Use Today 1. Start your morning with intention. Ask: What am I excited about today? Whose life can I make better today? 2. Create an accomplishment list—not a to-do list. Shift from obligation to opportunity. 3. Practice the "bagel model." Whenever stress rises, pause and ask: Is this in the empowerment zone? Or the disempowerment zone? If you can't control it—redirect your energy. 4. Adopt the "rain mindset." Instead of "Ugh, it's raining," try: "The rain is feeding my flowers." Reframe, and your brain will follow. 5. Give gratitude away freely. Say thank you. Compliment someone. Share something small. Science tells us that gratitude boosts the giver's happiness even more than the receiver's. Final Thoughts Nicki's story is a radiant reminder that your reality is shaped by the narrative you choose. You can choose joy. You can choose possibility. You can choose to smile at strangers and uplift the people around you. And you can choose to rewrite your story—every ...
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