Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Am I continuing to engage in “first-family” activities with my ex (even though we’re divorced), mainly because I’m trying to guard my children from experiencing any disappointment or discomfort?
2. Have I noticed any confusion or resentment from my children when they observe our Perfect Pal relationship and compare it to what’s actually happened in their lives?
3. Do I feel compelled to continue as Perfect Pals because I’m worried that if I don’t, my ex will react poorly, possibly lash out, turn the kids against me, or punish me in some way? And so I keep showing up as a close friend and confidant just to avoid retribution?
4. Because of our Perfect Pal dynamic, do I sometimes abdicate or agree with my ex, even when I have a different opinion?
5. Do you (or your new partner) harbor resentment toward your ex because they seem to have a lot of power and control over parenting decisions? Do you end up feeling unheard, devalued, or dismissed? Does maintaining your Perfect Pal relationship seem like it's more important than having an equal voice in your children's lives?

What's your next step in moving toward 'Cooperative Colleagues'?

Resources

• Episode 226. How Two Homes Raise Kids that Thrive: A Co-Parenting Blueprint for Caring Parents [with Jay & Tammy Daughtry]
• Episode 71. Helping Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
• Co-Parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce by Tammy Daughtry
• Connect directly with Jay and Tammy: CoParenting International
• CLICK HERE to get FREE resources from CoParenting International
• CLICK HERE for more Episodes on Healthy Co-Parenting

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