In this episode of In Search of More, I sit down with my friend Ryan. We’ve known each other nearly twenty years, but this conversation goes deeper than we’ve ever gone before.We talk about money, success, identity, and the parts of ourselves we’d rather not face. We’ve been through different versions of the grind, from street life to business to family, and we speak honestly about the choices that shaped us. The demons that didn’t take us out. The pressure and silence that often come with money, even when it looks like freedom from the outside.This isn’t a playbook. It’s a real look at what we inherit, what we earn, and what we’re forced to confront when life hands us both. If you’ve ever felt alone in your ambition or unsure what success is costing you, this one might land.A new chapter starts here.See you on the other side,Eli

In this episode, I sit down again with Rabbi Baruch Gartner who presents a clear framework for understanding shame not as a flaw, but as something built into creation, the “orlah”, the protective armor that eventually disconnects us from ourselves, others, and God. Drawing from Rebbe Nachman, Tanya, and the Baal Shem Tov, he explains how facing embarrassment is actually the gateway to joy, creativity, and reconnection.

From there, we explore money, one of the more challenging subjects. We talk about transformative giving, the relationship between business and Torah learning, and how money can either drown a person or elevate them, depending on the quality of their connection.

We then zoom out to the collective: baseless hatred, unity, exile, and healing. Rabbi Gartner shares a bold idea, that small pockets of genuine unity and sincerity can shift the larger story, not through perfection, but through real connection.

This conversation doesn’t fit neatly into a category. It’s part vulnerability, part mysticism, part challenge, and part personal struggle, an honest exploration of the blocks within us and the hunger for something more alive and true.

See you on the other side,

Eli

In this episode, I sit with Benji Elson, author of Dance of the Omer. His work lives at the meeting point of Torah, psychology and sustainable living. His own path from a strict yeshiva world, through ashrams and silent retreats in India, and back into a renewed relationship with Judaism, creates the backdrop for the conversation. Through that journey he opens a way of reading Torah that is rooted in land, in seasons, in the body. And he keeps naming that this is only one face among the seventy, one interpretive layer that can stand alongside many others without canceling them out.

We explore how the core Jewish holidays can function like an annual tune-up of our relationship with the physical world. Pesach as a reset around grain and simple food. Shavuot as a check-in around fruit, milk and our use of animals. Sukkot as a conversation with water, climate and the shape of our cities. Benji shows how mitzvot such as the four species, bikurim, meat and milk, city greenbelts and Shabbat boundaries can form a kind of spiritual ecology that shapes how we eat, build, consume and live on land with more clarity and care.

We also speak about disillusionment with religious authority, and why stepping away is not always a trauma script. Sometimes it is simply the next honest step. And we look at how greater awareness around food, animals and place can become part of our inner work rather than a lifestyle performance. If you are curious how Torah can be read through the lens of nature while still making space for psychological, spiritual and relational depth, this conversation offers a fresh way of seeing.

See you on the other side,

Eli

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To connect with Benji

Website | www.elson-psychotherapy.com

Email | benji@elson-psychotherapy.com

Instagram | @benji_elson

Link to the book "Dance of the Omer" by Benji Elson on Amazon | https://a.co/d/fO5QH1V