All right, listen. Everything's cool, okay, and if this is your first episode, PLEASE, GOD, CHOOSE ANOTHER, LITERALLY ANY OTHER EPISODE FIRST.

This is the semi-prepared story of the Tuckahoe Plantation. Come for the ghosts, stay for the Scarface special, the pretzel part, I don't know which penis, human baby stag, clones in the spiritual sense, baby Thomas senior, and jump jiving and wailing.

Sources:

• https://www.hmdb.org/m.asp?m=9249
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Randolph

One of these days we'll get back to telling ghost stories, but real quick, can we tell you this absolutely bonkers true story of a weird virgin who summoned the devil?

This is the story of John Dee. Come for the devil's hoofprint, stay for a professional ghost, a good male midlife crisis, this horoscope can't be right, cyclops cowboy, 12,000,000 degrees Celsius, book smart not street smart, and the devil changing a lightbulb.

Thanks to listener Caroline Jones for the research!

Sources:

• John Dee: Why The Elizabethan Spy Was The Original 007 | HistoryExtra
• The Magical Relics of John Dee at The British Museum – Curious Archive
• Catherine Cavendish: Dr. John Dee - Charismatic Eerie Genius of the Elizabethan Age
• John Dee: Scholar, Astrologer, and Occult Practitioner that Captivated the Royal Court of 16th Century England | Ancient Origins
• John Dee - Wikipedia
• https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-13982175

Some people say the Easter story is the greatest story ever told. But they're wrong. Strap in for the REAL DEAL.

This is the story of James Andrews and the Kennesaw House. Come for the ghosts, stay for naked Wednesday, please we have to find the monkeys, zero-plus, a whole-a$$ train, microwaved cheeseburgers for the whites, a boxcar with a pride flag, and purple monkey dishwasher.

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Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Locomotive_Chase
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_J._Andrews
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kennesaw_House
• https://www.ghostsandgravestones.com/savannah/haunted-places-in-georgia