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Having a "should list" feels terrible, and it’s ineffective

I printed my should list and processed it with the Lord. That looked like asking Him questions and seeing what He highlighted to me - if you care to watch, here’s a link to the unedited video of me processing live.

In the process, I saw that more than half of the items contained "more" or "better" and carried condemnation. Yuck!

When I saw how much condemnation there was, I decided to do a Heart Doodle with Jesus, asking, “If I put the way I feel in a picture, what would that look like?” The picture was trying to hit an archery target that was too far away and moving.

God gently spoke, “Undefined is not kind.”

The actions the Lord told me to take out of this process were:

1. Count my steps - every movement in the right direction counts and deserves to be noticed.
2. Evaluate each “should”. Is it a real need or a want? Can you trash it?
3. If it is a need or want, define what it looks like and the steps to complete it.

God doesn’t have a “should list”, only invitations to trust and experience Him.

00:00 Why Should Lists Hurt

00:15 30 Shoulds and Shame

01:59 Heart Doodling Process

03:14 Do More Do Better Trap

04:45 Archery Target Metaphor

06:32 God Has Invitations

07:14 Sorting the 30 Items

09:41 Three Steps Forward

11:30 Define Needs and Wants

13:03 Next Steps and Support

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“God expects me to keep everyone happy.”

He doesn’t, but part of you might feel like He does. While your feelings matter, they shouldn’t lead you through life.

God doesn’t demand perfection because He knows that’s impossible. Jesus was perfect, so you don’t have to be.

00:00 Perfectionism Loop

01:07 Heart Doodling Practice

01:41 Questioning People Pleasing

02:24 Truth About God

03:32 Needs And Boundaries

04:14 Spotting Enemy Accusations

06:18 Feelings Versus Reality

08:32 Comforting Inner Child

10:38 Pleasing Is Not Loving

12:08 Parts And Trauma Explained

14:08 Compassion And Resourcing

15:25 Coaching Invitation

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 Did God really say? The devil has been asking that same question for all of human history. Did God really say whatever you feel like you heard him say, this is the ultimate battle to hear God and hold tightly to what he said. Eve saw fruit in the garden and it looked good to eat. And then she forgot exactly what God had said and made the wrong choice.

When the serpent came and said, did God really say what Eve quoted back to him wasn't exactly what God said, it was enough off that the enemy was able to convince her to eat the fruit and make the wrong choice. And unfortunately, I do the same thing. If we haven't met yet, I am Mukkove Johnson and I teach Christian women to hear God's voice, to discern what he's saying and to heal the parts that don't always agree with him, and live the abundant life that Jesus called you to.

00:00 Did God Really Say
00:57 Meet the Creator
01:39 Why We Doubt
02:18 Ministry Story Lesson
03:02 Refocus on God Said
04:00 Build a Battle Plan
04:21 Workshop Invitation
04:38 Next Steps and Wrap

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Are you in a season where it feels like you need a battle plan? I know I have been and have been trying to figure out a practical way to keep it in front of me because I feel like the Lord gives me plans. I ask him for plans. He's faithful to give me that direction, and then life keeps lifeing and I forget.

So if you're like me, I hope the thoughts I share today will be helpful. If we haven't met before, I'm mko. I have a heart to see the body of Christ living in health and wholeness and maturity. And I'm sharing the things that I am learning on my journey to all of those things in hopes that they will encourage you and show you practically what it looks like to walk that out step by step.

The first step is seeking the Lord to clearly define the battle.

Second is the battle plan. God’s strategies are not formulas but require listening, carrying His presence, and trusting Him for specific direction. That could include gratitude, worship, Scripture, prayer support, and specific obedience, cutting distractions, doubt, and double-mindedness while adding discipline and discernment.

Third, refocus through reminders, or support as often as you need it.

00:00 Need a Battle Plan
02:30 Define the Real Battle
03:11 Old Testament Strategies
06:08 Ask God for Tactics
07:15 Heart Doodling Workshop
08:17 Cut Distraction and Doubt
10:40 Discipline and Discernment
12:55 Remember and Refocus
14:24 Victory and Territory
16:03 Little by Little Growth
18:41 Get Support and Next Steps

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Mess to Majesty: Let God Love You In Your Mess by Mukkove Johnson, available on Amazon.

Embrace Your Mess, Find Your Message: Separating Identity from Behavior

Break the shame cycle by refusing to hide your messes and instead practice the courage cycle of repeatedly facing fear, pain, and grief. “Embracing your mess” means being honest about what’s wrong without making it your identity, recognizing that messes can be cleaned up. Embracing the mess allows you to separate your behavior from your identity. Jesus loves you despite your sin and turns healing into a message that can encourage others. Doing harmful things is not the same as being defined by them.

00:00 Shame to Courage
00:42 Embrace Your Mess
01:22 Why It Matters
02:49 Personal Anger Story
03:46 Jesus Sees Our Worth
04:37 You Are Not Alone
05:16 Testimony Brings Healing
06:03 Closing Invitation

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Mess to Majesty: Let God Love You In Your Mess by Mukkove Johnson, available on Amazon.

You may think being brave or courageous means never feeling fear.

The opposite is true. If you didn't feel afraid, no courage would be needed.

You also might think that once you've been brave, that's it. You've won.

Also not true. You feel afraid. You use your courage to move ahead and overcome. You see the victory, and then fear comes again. Courage is needed again.

In my Mess To Majesty Coaching, I call this the Courage Cycle. Understanding it's a cycle keeps you from feeling like a failure when the fear returns.

To learn more about Mess to Majesty Coaching, email Mukkove at contact@mukkovejohnson.com

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Mess To Majesty: Let God Love You In Your Mess book on Amazon

Breaking the Shame Cycle: Jesus, the Woman at the Well, and Living Free (Christian Women 35–55)

This episode explains how shame pushes people away and keeps us stuck in a repeating “shame cycle,” and clarifies the difference between shame (believing we are bad or not enough) and guilt (recognizing we did something bad and can make it right). Using the woman at the well, it shows how Jesus brings hidden pain into the light without shaming her, separating her value from her choices and offering living water, hope, and truth that transforms. The lesson encourages silencing shame by bringing its messages into the light through vulnerability with safe people and first with Father God, using James 5:15–16 to show confession and prayer lead to forgiveness and healing. It also addresses shame culture, urges self-compassion, and teaches noticing emotions without filtering them, separating feelings and choices from identity.

00:00 Shame Pushes People Away
00:41 What Shame Really Is
01:49 The Shame Cycle Explained
02:39 Woman at the Well
04:01 Jesus Breaks Shame
05:57 Bring Shame to Light
06:31 Confession and Healing
07:36 Safe People and God
10:06 Don’t Filter Emotions
11:44 Shame Culture and Identity
13:16 Personal Week Examples
14:14 Uprooting Hidden Messages

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How to Teach Kids Consideration: Modeling, Object Lessons, and Stories

The host answers a listener's question about teaching children to be considerate rather than selfish. They explain that the most powerful teaching method is modeling, including clarifying the difference between parental authority and selfishness and, when appropriate, repenting and asking children for forgiveness. The episode suggests practical tools such as object lessons (e.g., giving kids a candy bag filled with rocks to help them identify how selfishness feels), naming and highlighting considerate vs. selfish behavior to build vocabulary, and checking that children understand expectations (illustrated by an R.C. Sproul story about children not knowing what “stoop” meant). The host recommends using stories—books, podcasts, movies, and the resource Tales of Virtue—to discuss examples of character traits, noting that stories and parables help lessons stick. The episode also mentions podcast fan mail, the host’s book "Mess to Majesty: Let God Love You in Your Mess" on Amazon with free journaling resources, and an email list for updates on a future group coaching program connected to the Mess to Majesty transformation.

00:00 Listener Question: Teaching Kids Consideration Over Selfishness
00:08 How to Submit Questions + Fan Mail Notes
00:35 Quick Update: 'Mess to Majesty' Book & Free Resources
01:10 Start of Today’s Answer: Model Consideration at Home
01:55 Talk Through Authority vs. Selfishness (and Apologize When Needed)
02:24 Object Lesson Idea: The Candy Bag Swap to Build Empathy
04:07 Name It to Train It: Vocabulary, Spotting Selfishness in Real Time
04:36 RC Sproul ‘Stoop’ Story: Kids Can Misunderstand Expectations
05:37 Use Stories & Media to Teach Character (Books, Odyssey, Tales of Virtue)
06:33 Wrap-Up: Why Stories Stick (Jesus’ Parables)

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• Learn how God communicates with you in Transformational Quiet Times