In this week’s shiur, Rav Shlomo Katz asks the heart-level question: Do I Want to Know My Child’s World?

We deepen last week’s kesher nafshi—a two-way soul-bond—by facing a common gap: many parents are pouring from their world into children living in a different one. Without curiosity and reciprocity, the funnel leaks; with it, chinuch can finally land.

Together we learn:
- Why a mutual bond (ke-mayim ha-panim) is the only stable “funnel” for real chinuch.
- How to enter a child’s dor (generation) with humility—see, listen, learn—before you speak.
- The difference between organic kibbud av va’em and guilt-based demands—and how to keep it gentle.
- Why relying on “passive osmosis” (they’ll just pick it up) isn’t a shittah—we need a conscious method.
- Creation’s order as a model: a spousal kesher of mutuality precedes and teaches the parent–child bond.

Practical takeaways:
- Schedule one curiosity block this week (10–15 min): ask about their music, friends, game, class—no fixing, just “teach me your world.”
- Before giving mussar, ask: Do I have a funnel here? If not, build it first (listen, reflect back, then speak briefly).
- Name one gentle boundary that keeps connection safe (tone, timing, devices), and keep it with consistency and warmth.

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L’ilui nishmat Batya Feiga bat Yisrael; Levi ben Yosef; Avraham Mordechai ben Yosef.
For refuah sheleimah Aliza Chana bat Naomi; Shoshana Yona bat Eidel—תחת שערי שמים.
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com

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In this week’s shiur, Rav Shlomo Katz continues our journey in Know Your Children toward a deeper parent–child bond—נפשו קשורה בנפשו / kesher nafshi—a two-way soul connection modeled by Yaakov and Binyamin. We review the “personalized funnel” of chinuch for each child and revisit the two loves that start every home—ahavah tiv’it (rooted in existence) and ahavah mutenet (shaped by traits)—then ask: how do we grow beyond one-way love into a shared inner bond without slipping into favoritism, enmeshment, or blurred boundaries?

Together we learn:

• Why every child demands a unique funnel from our heart to theirs—and why it begins with knowing ourselves.
• The limits of one-way love (newborn stage and trait-based affection) and the promise of two-sided connection.
• What “kesher nafshi” isn’t: dependency, replacing clear expectations, or making our child responsible for our feelings.
• How to model kibbud av va’em, set invitations (not ultimatums), and keep the family as the first lab for reciprocal relationships.
• Seeing our children inside Nishmat Kelal Yisrael—love that holds the individual and the bigger picture.

Practical takeaways:

• This week, offer one “invitation without expectation” for connection (walk, note, shared task) tailored to that child’s language of love.
• Before correction, ask: Am I speaking from ahavah tiv’it or from my need to feel loved? Adjust tone accordingly.
• Name and protect boundaries that keep closeness healthy (sleep, devices, respectful speech), so kesher can grow safely.

L’ilui nishmat Batya Feiga bat Yisrael, Levi ben Yosef; for refuah sheleimah of Aliza Chana bat Naomi—tachat sha’arei shamayim.

For more Shiurim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz: https://ravshlomokatz.com

Join Rav Shlomo Katz’s WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t

In this week’s shiur, Rav Shlomo Katz explores the foundation of Natural vs. Conditional Loving. Every parent begins with an unconditional, unexplainable love—ahavah tiv’it—simply because our child exists. As children grow and reveal talents, quirks, and challenges, a second layer—ahavah mutenet—forms, often shaping how we respond and how they feel loved. The work is to bridge these two, so the deepest, unconditional love never gets buried.

Together we learn:

• The long–short path of chinuch: why taking time to explain clearly now creates quicker, gentler reception later.
• How unconditional love at birth (you are, therefore I love you) often gets clouded by comparison, correction, and “fixing.”
• The shift from ahavah tiv’it (rooted in existence) to ahavah mutenet (shaped by personality and traits).
• Why “favorites” and subtle distance creep in, and how to return to the root love beneath them.
• A Rosh Hashanah lens: just as the day celebrates the creation of Adam, so too it calls us back to love that flows from existence itself.

Practical takeaways:

• Give one no-reason act of kindness to your child this week—just because they are.
• Catch yourself when love feels conditional; pause and recall the root, unconditional bond.
• Think one positive thought about each child daily; they feel the shift, even before you act.

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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com

Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t