Ellen Dorian explores how business owners can strengthen their relationships by treating their partnership as the foundation that holds everything else together. Drawing from a Trevor Noah podcast quote about spending time with his father, she examines the cost of making unilateral business decisions without partner input. The episode provides a framework for integrating business and relationship priorities through structured communication, tiered decision-making, and weekly alignment meetings.

Part 1: The Cost of Exclusion

- Ellen shares a quote from Roy Wood Jr. about being along for the ride rather than truly included in his father's life.

- Business owners often make rapid decisions without consulting partners who will be affected by the outcomes.

- Top-down thinking creates resistance and undermines support, even when partners don't openly object.

- Shared visions can drift apart over time, leaving couples working toward completely different outcomes.

- The question "Are you running your business or is your business running you?" reveals a common trap.

Part 2: The Juggling and Herding Problem

- Most business owners have three competing priorities: work, family, and personal fulfillment.

- Juggling means keeping balls in the air, but one is always falling—you can only hold two at a time.

- Herding is attempting to control everything at once, like stuffing three cats in a bag.

- Both approaches fail because they rely on one person being solely responsible for everything.

- Business decisions directly impact partners whether they've agreed to them or not.

Part 3: The Airplane Framework

- Ellen introduces a new model: your relationship is the airplane, with two seats in the cockpit.

- Everything else—business, kids, extended family, hobbies—belongs in the cabin as passengers.

- Kids and business should not fly the plane or always come first.

- Strong partnerships create the framework where everything else thrives.

- Partners become copilots without becoming business partners.

Part 4: Three Best Practices for Partnership Alignment

#1 Weekly Business Review Meeting

- Hold a short weekly meeting focused on decisions that touch shared life.

- Cover four topics: what happened since last meeting, what's coming up, what needs joint decision, and what matters most this week.

- Make it enjoyable with coffee, wine, or pancakes—call it whatever makes it fun.

- Prevents the "I never heard that" or "you didn't tell me" conflicts.

#2 Tiered Decision-Making Categories

- Green zone: everyday decisions that don't impact shared life, just keep partner informed.

- Yellow zone: give heads up and chance to weigh in, minimize surprises, maximize respect.

- Red zone: decisions requiring full discussion before moving forward.

#3 Red Zone Topics

- Money: any shared resource at risk, new debt, contracts, personal guarantees, compensation changes.

- Time: anything significantly changing availability, focus, or energy—major projects, expansion, increased travel.

- People: hiring or firing key team members, bringing on investors, forming partnerships.

- These decisions affect stress levels, time, and how you show up in the relationship.

- Your relationship should be the context in which your business, family, and fulfillment exist, not just another competing priority.

- The entrepreneur divorce rate sits above 60% because not everyone commits to this level of discipline and openness.

- Your partner needs to be an important voice in your business without necessarily working in it.

- Trying to control everything by yourself guarantees something will crash, taking everything else down with it.

- Real work-life integration requires...

Ellen Dorian shares insights from her 10th anniversary Viking river cruise, highlighting three key moves for long-lasting relationships: acceptance, longevity, and defaulting to yes.

Part 1: Acceptance in Long Term Relationships

- Recognizing and appreciating your partner's authentic self

- Distinguishing between tolerance, resignation, and genuine acceptance

- Example: Steve's acceptance of Ellen's coffee house visits

Part 2: Longevity and Vitality

- Importance of physical, mental, and emotional health in relationships

- Observations from the cruise demographic

- Connection between personal vitality and relationship strength

Part 3: Defaulting to Yes

- Overcoming the habit of saying no thanks

- Benefits of staying open to new experiences together

- Example: Hungarian street food cooking class

- Relationships play out over decades, not days

- Staying healthy and active contributes to relationship longevity

- Defaulting to yes keeps relationships fresh and engaging

Book a free Relationship Reset Call at relationshipresetcall.com for personalized guidance.

Relationships, like the Danube, change over time but can keep moving along for years with the right approach.

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations.



www.makemorelove.show

www.passionatepartnersproject.com

https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105

Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/

Ellen Dorian analyzes the movie "The Roses" as a case study for relationship decline, illustrating Make More Love's Hierarchy of Relationship Needs and Spiral of Decline models. She breaks down the film's plot, highlighting key disruptions that lead to the couple's downfall, and relates these to common relationship issues faced by high-performing individuals.

Part 1: Introduction and Movie Analysis

- Ellen introduces the episode's focus on "The Roses" as a relationship case study

- Explanation of why this movie is an ideal example for the Make More Love model

- Breakdown of the couple's initial connection and shared ambition

Part 2: Relationship Disruptions and Missed Opportunities

- Identification of five major disruptions in the Roses' relationship

- Analysis of how each disruption contributes to the spiral of decline

- Discussion of missed opportunities for intervention and repair

Part 3: Lessons and Application

- Relating the movie's themes to real-life relationship challenges

- Introduction of the Relationship Dynamics Scorecard tool

- Encouragement for listeners to assess their own relationships

- Shared ambition can be both a strong foundation and a potential pitfall in relationships

- Major life events and role changes can significantly impact relationship dynamics

- Ignoring relationship issues and failing to seek help can lead to a spiral of decline

- Open communication and willingness to address problems are crucial for relationship health

Ellen encourages listeners to take the Relationship Dynamics Scorecard quiz at MakeMoreLove.Show/Quiz

Or book a free Relationship Reset call at RelationshipResetCall.com.

Relationships require active maintenance and attention to thrive. Recognizing and addressing issues early can prevent the kind of decline depicted in "The Roses."

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

The Roses is a 2025 feature film starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman, directed by Jay Roach, and distributed by Searchlight Pictures. All rights belong to the respective copyright holders. This episode offers commentary and analysis for educational and review purposes only.

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations.



www.makemorelove.show

www.passionatepartnersproject.com