In this episode, I talk about the dynamic that silently shapes and sometimes sabotages every marriage: the imbalance of responsibility. If you find yourself either taking the blame for everything or constantly defending your perspective, this pattern might be more familiar than you think (I’ve been on both sides).

You’ll learn how trauma can lead us to overcorrect in relationships, why courage and consideration need to coexist, and how to use self-confrontation to rebuild intimacy without losing yourself.

I share personal examples, including a story from my past abuse I’ve never told before, and walk you through the exact questions that help you stop owning what isn't yours or over-defending so you can move toward a healthier relationship.

P.S. If intimacy has felt difficult after trauma, even in a safe and loving relationship, I’m now offering a new online course called Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Abuse, paired with one-on-one coaching. If you’re curious whether it’s a good fit, you can schedule a free Discovery Call with me HERE.

You’ve been trying to figure out what’s really going on in your relationship. You’ve wondered if it’s abusive, or if the two of you are just stuck in old patterns and emotional immaturity.

In this episode, I break down the key differences between dysfunction and abuse by looking at patterns of power, fear, and emotional regulation. I also walk you through five common signs that may point to something deeper than conflict, including intensity, volatility, and control dynamics.

You’ll hear personal stories, practical reflection questions, and the turning point that helped me understand my own past relationship more clearly. If this question has been weighing on you, this episode will give you clarity and direction.

If emotional immaturity feels like the core issue and you’re ready to work on it, you can book a free discovery call using THIS LINK. If safety is a concern, I’ve included trusted, trauma-informed resources HERE.

Right before hitting record, we got into an argument. The kind where we both felt misunderstood, defensive, and like the other was the problem. But, unlike in the past, we were able to work through it. That process is exactly what we want to share with you today.

In this real-time breakdown, we share how control shows up in subtle ways in marriage, even when you’re both trying your best. We talk about the tension between autonomy and attachment, the “no, unless” trap that often hides in people-pleasing, and how we each self-confronted to reconnect.

You’ll hear:

• What triggered the argument and how it spiraled
• The exact moment we hit reset and how we did it
• Scripts to move from defensiveness to collaboration
• Why true repair often starts with looking for what truth there is in your partners perception of you

If you’ve ever felt like one of you has to lose for the other to win, this episode will offer a new way forward. One built on mutual respect, honesty, and yes, a little messiness.

✨ Want to go deeper? Join us at our next Couples Retreat — April 23–25 in Bear Lake, Utah. Click HERE for more details.

We’ve all said it: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” But are you actually living that truth in your relationships?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the essential difference between feeling an emotion and acting on it and why separating the two is at the core of emotional maturity. Whether it’s parenting or marriage, we often justify our reactions based on someone else’s actions. But that pattern erodes trust, safety, and connection.

We’ll talk about:

• Why emotional honesty isn’t an excuse to mistreat others
• How to apologize without justifying harmful behavior
• The subtle way we teach kids to manage our emotions (and how to break the cycle)
• What real emotional maturity looks like in action

If you're ready to stop passing emotional responsibility onto others and start breaking the patterns you were raised in, this one's for you.

✨ Looking for personal support? Book a Discovery Call using this link.

If you’ve ever felt a quiet simmer of anger in your marriage (or a full-blown wave of resentment) you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. But pushing those feelings down isn’t working… and never has.

In this episode, I walk you through:

• The real difference between anger and resentment
• Why resentment builds when we wait for our partner to change
• A powerful shift that puts you back in the driver’s seat

You’ll learn how to listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, how to speak up without sliding into criticism, and how to take action that aligns with your integrity, regardless of how your partner responds.

Ready to stop the resentment cycle and start honoring your own clarity?

✨ For deeper support around emotional responsibility, boundaries, and self-trust in your marriage, visit www.mynameiscourage.com.

In today’s episode, I’m reading a raw journal entry from the days I was in an abusive relationship and lived with what psychologists call a reflected sense of self—when your identity depends on how someone else sees you.

At the time, I didn’t know I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I just knew I was constantly anxious, terrified of upsetting him, and couldn’t trust my own gut. I share how this pattern followed me, even into a safe marriage, and what it actually takes to rebuild your inner compass.

You’ll hear:

• What a reflected sense of self looks like in real life
• How emotional abuse distorts your reality
• Why self-trust is essential—and how to start reclaiming it
• The shift that changed my marriage, my motherhood, and my peace

If you’ve ever questioned your reality, withheld something to avoid conflict, or wondered if you were the “crazy one”—this episode will speak to you.

✨ Ready to build a solid sense of self? Book a discovery call to discuss different ways to get support.

Ever feel like you’ve lost yourself inside your marriage?

In this episode, I share the raw truth about what happens when we give and give, until there’s nothing left. If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of self-sacrificing, shutting down, or quietly resenting your partner while trying to be “the good spouse,” you’re not broken. You’re just in the part of marriage no one warned you about.

We’ll unpack the natural progression every marriage goes through, the real difference between attachment and autonomy, and why learning to regulate yourself (not your spouse) is the key to finding your voice again.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about ownership. And I’ll walk you through the emotional skills that helped me reclaim my sense of self—without blowing up my marriage in the process.

💡 Plus, I’m offering one free coaching session to the first five to schedule HERE as I work toward my ICF certification.

If you would like to explore more resources, visit mynameiscourage.com.