Welcome to the fever dream. In Episode 80, we hold a memorandum for the "death" of Stephen Colbert's show, only to get dragged into the deepest, most unhinged rabbit hole of all: the Jeffrey Epstein saga. We present our controversial "innocent pedophile" theory—was he just a creep caught in a massive blackmail operation run by Ghislaine Maxwell?Then, we pivot to the absolute goldmine that is Senator John Kennedy, who describes a political meeting as "organized grab ass" and rails against funding for "male prostitutes in Haiti." This is No News Is News, and we've completely lost our minds.TIMESTAMPS / CHAPTERS:00:00:00 - RIP Stephen Colbert: A Memorandum for a "Cancelled" Show01:00:23 - The "Big Pharma" Skit That "Sank The Show"02:47:00 - The Campfire Tale of Jeffrey Epstein03:58:00 - The "Innocent Pedophile" Theory Explained05:49:00 - How Ghislaine Maxwell Allegedly Weaponized Epstein's Perversion07:29:00 - The Recruitment Process & The "Touch My Penis Adventure"11:31:00 - Our Take on Trump & Clinton's Involvement14:32:00 - Re-evaluating the "Innocent Pedophile" Theory18:25:00 - How Epstein REALLY Died (And How Sanjay Gupta Explained It)21:45:00 - Shane Gillis Roasts The ESPYs (And The Audience Doesn't Get It)26:48:00 - Senator John Kennedy: "Spend Quality Time with Bubba"29:09:00 - Stephen Miller on "Secessionist" Sanctuary Cities31:33:00 - Cory Booker's Meltdown While His Team Walks Out for Lunch37:30:00 - The "Starry" Political Party: Our Plan for a New America39:20:00 - Trump's Bizarre Epstein Deflection: Blame Comey & Obama42:25:00 - Trump Brings Back Religion to Atone for... Something45:05:00 - Senator John Kennedy's "Organized Grab Ass" & "Spending Porn"50:20:00 - F*ck, Marry, Kill: RFK Jr. vs John Kennedy vs Andrew Cuomo54:40:00 - Jasmine Crockett Calls Trump "Wannabe Hitler"57:39:00 - Trump Challenges AOC & Crockett to an IQ Test01:00:08 - Outro: The Press Secretary's Fake Pockets#nonewsisnews #epstein #donaldtrump #johnkennedy #shanegillis #colbert #politics #comedy #podcast

This week on No News Is News, Alex and Kelly are back and the studio is pure chaos. They attempt to distract their dogs with ice cream while discussing the heartbreaking tragedy at Camp Mystic and the bizarre political theater of the week.The episode kicks off with a look at Donald Trump's "Tiny Desk" moment where he was gifted a gavel after signing a major bill. Then, the hosts dive deep into the newly released Jeffrey Epstein footage, dissecting the inconsistencies, the media's flip-flopping narrative, and what it all means for the powerful figures involved. In a much-needed moment of levity, Alex introduces the show's new mascot, Labubu, much to the excitement of their dogs.They also break down the latest political moves, from the Treasury Secretary's reaction to Elon Musk's "America Party," to Ted Cruz's unfortunately timed vacation to Greece during a Texas flood. Finally, they react to Trump's dismissal of Epstein questions in the wake of the flood, paying special attention to Marco Rubio's thousand-yard stare.0:00 - Cold Open: Raining in Austin & Doggy Ice Cream0:13 - The Camp Mystic Tragedy03:50 - Donald Trump's Tiny Gavel05:42 - What's in Trump's New Bill?11:32 - Former CIA Director John Brennan on MSNBC16:40 - Trump & Melania Dance to YMCA18:55 - The Jeffrey Epstein Tapes & Media Gaslighting40:12 - Meet Labubu: The New Co-Host43:55 - Elon Musk Starts a Third Party50:08 - Sports, Politics, and the White House UFC Fight53:35 - Would You Rather: UFC at the White House or the World Cup Final?1:04:38 - Ken Burns on Defunding PBS1:11:02 - Ted Cruz's Vacation During the Texas Floods1:15:55 - TSA Ends the "Remove Your Shoes" Policy1:22:27 - Trump is Tired of Putin's "Bullshit"1:26:48 - Trump Dismisses Epstein Questions Amidst Texas Tragedy

This episode is a wild ride through the latest in political and pop culture absurdities. The hosts break down the "Daddy's Home" phenomenon , Senator Kennedy's unforgettable "bag of cats" zinger , and what they call CNN's "thrice-tarded" debacle with the US military. Also on the docket: the drama around "debanking" , a US-Canada syrup standoff , Kanye and Diddy's son's surprise album drop , and the controversial guest list for Jeff Bezos's wedding.

00:00 - Republican's "Terrible" Bill & July 4th Deadline

02:55 - "Debanking" & Trump's Take

05:40 - Trump's Personality & Assassination Attempts

09:22 - CNN, Trump & the Military

14:42 - US-Canada Trade, Dairy & Syrup

20:30 - Senator Kennedy's "Zingers"

25:00 - Iran, Israel & The Nuclear Question

28:12 - Trump, Crypto & Personal Investments

34:55 - Election, Healthcare & Bezos' Wedding

39:40 - P. Diddy's Legal Troubles & Kanye's New Album

45:30 - Marjorie Taylor Greene & Tucker Carlson on Israel

55:20 - "Daddy's Home" Video & Media Reaction

01:06:20 - Anti-Vax & RFK

01:09:30 - Ancient Greece, Rome & Modern Politics

01:17:40 - A Muslim New Yorker's Perspective

01:21:40 - Joe Rogan & Fake News

01:28:30 - Liver King & The Justice System

01:35:30 - The Future of the Democratic Party

This week on No News Is News, hosts Alex R. Wagner and Kelly Cline dive deep into the explosive conflict between the United States and Iran. Following major US airstrikes on three of Iran's key nuclear facilities, the world is on edge, and the political fallout is just beginning.Join Alex and Kelly as they break down the most intense media moments, including Marco Rubio's heated "Brett Kavanaugh energy" interview, a fiery debate between Ted Cruz and Tucker Carlson over AIPAC and the biblical justifications for war, and the varied reactions from politicians like Andrew Cuomo, Adam Kinzinger, and JD Vance.From sarcastically joining "Team Iran" to dissecting the "America, F*ck Yeah!" nature of the attacks, they cut through the noise of both mainstream and independent media. They also explore the deeper, often undiscussed historical and theological roots of the conflict, from the 1979 revolution to the biblical story of Jacob and whether the modern state of Israel truly represents the "Promised Land."Plus, they investigate a fan's tip about Benjamin Netanyahu's all-American education and fall down a rabbit hole of 9/11 conspiracy theories, questioning who really holds the power in the "unshakable alliance."If you're tired of the spin and want a raw, unfiltered, and often hilarious take on the news that matters, this is the episode for you.Chapters:00:00 - Intro: Iran's "Weaponization Ambitions"00:34 - Why Does Iran Need a Space Program?02:07 - "America, F*ck Yeah!": Reacting to the Airstrikes03:34 - Marco Rubio's "Brett Kavanaugh Energy"05:07 - Why We're Now "Team Iran" (Satire)07:07 - The Rise of Independent Journalism ("Mo News")09:26 - Media Spin & Political Fearmongering11:27 - The 1979 Iranian Revolution & The Rise of Theocracy14:42 - Is Anyone Telling the Truth?17:08 - What About Gaza?19:23 - Ted Cruz vs. Tucker Carlson: The AIPAC Debate28:06 - Ted Cruz's Biblical Justification for Supporting Israel30:41 - The Biblical Story of Jacob (Israel)33:24 - Are DNA Tests Banned in Israel? (Conspiracy Corner)35:34 - Who Are the "Real" Hebrews?37:57 - The Black Israelites39:09 - The Plot Twist: Is Israel Even the Promised Land?42:19 - Trump's Decisive Action & The MAGA Reaction43:34 - Andrew Cuomo's Comeback Tour45:40 - The Wacky World of NYC Mayoral Politics49:30 - Finding it Hard to Talk About Iran51:03 - The Political Blame Game55:23 - The Non-Interventionist Argument59:53 - Trump & Netanyahu: A Bromance For The Ages01:03:00 - Fan Mail: Netanyahu's American Education01:10:30 - The Constitutionality of the Airstrikes01:19:23 - Tom Cotton Warns Iran: "Actually Survive"01:23:20 - A Strike on America?01:24:48 - The 9/11 Conspiracy Deep Dive01:28:25 - Israel's Plea: "We Are Not Dragging America Into a War"01:32:21 - Netanyahu's All-American Education01:39:41 - Obliterated vs. Severely Damaged: JD Vance Sets the Record Straight01:47:44 - The "Never War" Movement & Bernie's Campaign Speech01:52:08 - Pence & The Pentagon's Official Statement01:54:27 - President Trump Addresses the Nation01:56:26 - Netanyahu Thanks Trump: "Peace Through Strength"01:58:02 - Final Thoughts: Composure is Key

Alex R. Wagner and guest, Kelly Virginia Cline, dive headfirst into a whirlwind of current events and bizarre tangents. The episode kicks off with a hilarious, albeit chaotic, attempt to get answers from a new AI chatbot, leading to a segment they dub "AI Congress."The conversation takes a sharp turn to the Middle East, with the hosts offering their unfiltered and often satirical takes on the escalating tensions between Israel and Iran. They dissect speeches from political figures, questioning the narratives presented by the media and politicians alike. From there, the episode spirals into a wild discussion about everything from the Tuskegee experiments and the bubonic plague to celebrity encounters and conspiracy theories surrounding COVID-19 and Jeffrey Epstein's island.Just when you think it couldn't get more random, the hosts find themselves in a heated debate about pangolins, their trafficking, and their surprising connection to traditional medicine. The episode wraps up with a look at protests in Los Angeles and a spirited, and slightly intoxicated, debate about political allegiances and the state of the nation.Chapter Markers:0:00 - Intro0:28 - A New Pope?1:10 - No News Is News with Kelly Virginia Klein1:41 - What TV Show Would You Be On?2:50 - Netanyahu and the Bombing of Iran8:03 - Taking Sides8:54 - How Do You Solve the Middle East?9:32 - Operation Rising Lion13:16 - Netanyahu on Saddam Hussein14:31 - Little Saint James and the Fountain of Youth16:00 - Biden's Ransom to Iran18:15 - Inflation and the Price of Meat20:25 - Protests in LA22:50 - The Tuskegee Experiment and Vaccine Hesitancy25:20 - The Bubonic Plague and European Rats28:00 - COVID-19: Bat or Lab Leak?30:30 - The Pangolin Conspiracy35:20 - The ICE Raids That Weren't41:20 - A Bong, a Candle, and a Book of Matches45:30 - The Liberal Insurrection51:00 - Dave Chappelle's "8:46"53:25 - The End of an Era: Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon59:45 - Trump on the Iran-Israel Conflict1:01:45 - The Media's Orchestration of Fear1:07:55 - The Man Who Drank Horse Semen1:09:00 - JD Vance and Hillbilly Elegy1:14:00 - Tim Scott's Abandonment1:16:15 - AI Congress1:18:30 - Israel, We're Begging You, Stop1:21:45 - The Liberal Insurrection in California1:25:20 - Trump's Birthday Parade1:27:00 - Outro

Donald Trump and Elon Musk breakup but the real moments were from the FBI Director and Vice President inside Kid Rock's Restaurant.

The media finally admitted to Joe Biden but not before he claimed cancer. Now Trump is ready to fight Putin and HBO is Max or Max is HBO again or whatever. NO NEWS IS NEWS PODCAST The news is not the news so now I'm here to give you the news even though the news isn't the news because no news is news.

Elon and DOGE have sent an HR letter out asking everyone at the government what they've been doing this last week.