When was the last time you felt truly at ease with someone?

Do you feel that kind of ease often, or was it rare?

In this special live episode recorded at the DAR Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C., Jay sits down with bestselling author and therapist Lori Gottlieb to explore the hidden dynamics that shape our relationships. Together, they unpack why so many of us feel the need to “perform” for love and how fear of rejection, perfectionism, and old emotional patterns can quietly erode connection. Lori shares how true intimacy begins with acceptance, not just of our partners, but of ourselves, and why showing up authentically is the only way to feel genuinely seen.

Through humor, warmth, and real audience interactions, Jay and Lori dive into topics like vulnerability, emotional safety, and the balance between “me time” and “we time.” They share how to stop trying to fix or control your partner, how to communicate without defensiveness, and how to build relationships rooted in curiosity and compassion instead of criticism.

This conversation is a reminder that love isn’t about finding someone who reads your mind, it’s about learning each other’s language, embracing imperfections, and creating a safe space where both people can grow.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Stop Performing for Love

How to Create Emotional Safety in a Relationship

How to Let Your Partner Be Vulnerable

How to Build Connection Through Acceptance

How to Communicate Without Getting Defensive

How to Balance “Me Time” and “We Time”

How to Love Without Trying to Fix

Love is not a performance, it’s a practice. It’s built in the quiet moments when we choose to listen instead of defend, to understand instead of control, and to show up even when it feels uncomfortable. Every relationship, whether romantic or otherwise, becomes stronger when we replace judgment with curiosity and fear with honesty.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:54 Earning Love Through Real Connection

03:16 Why You Should Speak Up Early

06:51 Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability

11:20 Can You Love Someone Without Loving Yourself?

13:55 How Acceptance Strengthens Your Relationship

20:37 Compatibility vs. Chemistry: What Matters More?

25:07 Do Couples Need Individual Therapy Too?

28:05 A Live Couples Therapy Session

44:06 Communicate Clearly Not Through Assumptions

47:08 Healthy Ways to Approach Conflict

51:28 Understanding the Many Forms of Love

57:46 Are Both of Your Needs Being Met?

01:01:44 Learning to Embrace and Communicate Differences

Episode Resources:

Lori Gottlieb | YouTube

Lori Gottlieb | Instagram

Lori Gottlieb | Website

Dear Therapists Podcast

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

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Do you ever get stuck in your thoughts?

What do you usually overthink about?

Today, Jay explores one of the most powerful, yet regularly overlooked, conversations we have every day: the one we have with ourselves. Too often, we become our own harshest critics, speaking to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to a friend. Jay reveals how self-criticism can disguise itself as control or accountability, when in truth, it’s a subtle form of self-sabotage that quietly erodes our confidence, creativity, and motivation.

Jay reminds us that rest and reflection aren’t signs of weakness, they’re essential parts of real growth. He explains that progress is never a straight line, and that falling back, slowing down, or taking a break doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it simply means you’re human. His message is a gentle yet powerful invitation to stop tearing yourself down and start lifting yourself up, to trade shame for accountability, criticism for compassion, and restlessness for stillness. Through his words, Jay offers more than advice, he shares a roadmap for healing your relationship with yourself, embracing imperfection with grace, and finding peace in the quiet strength of self-acceptance.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Silence Your Inner Critic

How to Talk to Yourself Like a Friend

How to Rewire Your Brain for Positivity

How to Rest Without Feeling Guilty

How to Stop Letting Negativity Control You

Healing begins the moment you choose kindness over criticism. Every mistake, setback, or pause is not the end of the journey, it’s part of becoming who you’re meant to be.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast

What We Discuss:

01:02 Is Your inner Voice Blocking You?

02:16 #1: Self Criticism is Self Sabotage

06:32 #2: Negative Self Talk is Counterproductive

10:08 #3: Shaming Yourself Doesn't Build Accountability

13:28 #4: Your Brain is Wired to Focus on Mistakes

17:24 #5: Progress Isn't Linear

20:01 #6: Rest is Essential for Progress

22:35 #7: Self Kindness Builds Resilience

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.