Why is people pleasing so common in the neurodivergent community? We discuss that very topic on this week's episode of the podcast.

"It is what it is. If people don't wanna be friends with me, it is what it is. Every day should be a learning day. Every day should be a day to work on yourself and your confidence."

Asma welcomes back autism advocate Carly Considine to explore the often overlooked topic of people-pleasing within the neurodivergent community.

Carly shares her personal journey with people-pleasing, anxious attachment, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. She offers practical insights into recognising these patterns and setting healthy boundaries.

This conversation is a good reminder that understanding our values and prioritising self-care isn't selfish. It's essential for wellbeing.

Key takeaways:

• People-pleasing is common in neurodivergent individuals and often stems from a fear of rejection, anxious attachment, and difficulty understanding social expectations.

• Many neurodivergent people use masking techniques and say "yes" automatically to maintain friendships and avoid hurting others. Even at the cost of their own wellbeing and energy.

• Learning to differentiate between surface-level friendships and genuine connections helps you decide where to invest your time and energy.

• The Spoon Theory framework helps you to recognise when you're overcommitting and pushing beyond your limits.

• Setting boundaries is a journey, not a destination. If you're still learning to say no, that's okay. Progress comes from daily reflection and self-compassion.

"People don't want you to be a yes person. They want you to have your own opinions, they want you to have your own choices."

About Carly:

Carly Considine is an autistic adult from England diagnosed in 2015. She has two autistic daughters diagnosed in 2019. Carly for several years volunteered for National Autistic Society co-running the South Wiltshire Branch. Carly now is an online advocate and shares her experiences as not only an autistic adult but a parent of autistic children. Carly has a keen interest in female autism and how the traits can differ, she also has a passion to highlight the comorbidities that can come with Autism such as ADHD. Carly is currently working on qualifications to support her presence in the community.

Where to find Carly:

Facebook

Instagram

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