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Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast

Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast

Auteur(s): Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola
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À propos de cet audio

 Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher, & Survivor. She has been an advocate since the age of 19, passionate about protecting children from abuse. Yet, even as a therapist, she didn't see the signs in her own relationship. How do we, as protective parents, support our children harmed by the coercive controller (aka Narcissistic Abuser)? Dr. Cocchiola's expertise provides the framework for supporting protective parents as they navigate parenting children harmed by the coercive controller. Protective parents can show their children a path to freedom.Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola
Épisodes
  • Child Sexual Abuse, Grooming, and the Systems That Fail Children with Andrew Carpenter

    Child Sexual Abuse, Grooming, and the Systems That Fail Children with Andrew Carpenter
    Jan 23 2026

    In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Andrew Carpenter, a solicitor and partner at Webster Lawyers in Australia, widely known for his work holding child sexual abuse perpetrators accountable and advocating for systemic reform.


    Andrew and I have a frank, uncomfortable, and deeply necessary conversation about child sexual abuse, grooming, coercive control, and the institutional failures that continue to endanger children. We explore how child predators use the same grooming tactics as coercive controllers, how technology and AI have dramatically increased access to abuse material, and why legal systems—including family courts—so often fail to protect children and the parents trying to keep them safe.


    This episode centers the reality that child sexual abuse is not rare, not accidental, and not a crime of opportunity—it is intentional, patterned, and enabled by silence, disbelief, and systemic blind spots.


    What we cover

    • How child sexual abuse perpetrators groom children, families, and institutions

    • Why all child predators use coercive control and relational grooming tactics

    • The disturbing accessibility of child abuse material online

    • How technology, AI, and social media are being weaponized against children

    • Why most abuse occurs within trusted relationships and family systems

    • The failures of criminal courts and family courts to protect child victims

    • Why lack of physical evidence does not mean abuse did not occur

    • Warning signs, behavioral red flags, and changes parents should not ignore

    • How shame, fear, and silence protect perpetrators—not children

    • What meaningful prevention, accountability, and reform must address


    Why listen

    If you are a survivor, protective parent, clinician, attorney, educator, or advocate, this episode provides critical insight into how child sexual abuse actually operates—and why so many children are disbelieved, retraumatized, or returned to unsafe environments. Andrew’s work exposes how deeply embedded these harms are within systems that claim to protect children, and why uncomfortable conversations are essential to change.


    Guest bio (short)

    Andrew Carpenter is a solicitor and partner at Webster Lawyers in Australia, specializing in child sexual abuse litigation and survivor advocacy. He is widely recognized for challenging institutional failures, advocating for legal reform, and amplifying survivor voices in cases where children have been silenced or ignored. His work focuses on accountability, deterrence, and systemic change to better protect children.


    Connect with Andrew Carpenter

    Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/andrewcarpentersolicitor

    Websters Lawyers:https://websterslawyers.com.au/lawyers/andrew-carpenter

    Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/andrewcarpentersolicitor?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

    LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-carpenter-041456123/


    Connect with Dr. Christine

    Protective Parenting Program:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/

    Official site:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

    YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos

    TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review- it helps other survivors and protective parents find validation and safety.

    -Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Andrew Carpenter
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    42 min
  • When You See It: The Untold First Wife Story of Dirty John with Tonia Bales

    When You See It: The Untold First Wife Story of Dirty John with Tonia Bales
    Jan 9 2026
    In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Tonia Bales, author of When You See It: How I Outsmarted and Outlasted Dirty John. Tonia shares her story as the first wife of the man later known to the world as “Dirty John”—long before the podcast, Netflix series, or public recognition of who he really was.Tonia describes how coercive control, deception, and manipulation unfolded inside her marriage, how she began uncovering her husband’s double life, and how the legal and family court systems failed to protect her and her children. This conversation offers a powerful look at how predators hide in plain sight, how survivors are often DARVO’d when they speak up, and how children become collateral damage in abusive systems.What we coverLife with Dirty John before the world knew his nameHow predators identify and target “perfect prey”Early warning signs, red flags, and deception hidden in plain sightDARVO tactics and false accusations used to silence victimsSubstance abuse, professional abuse of power, and systemic failureFamily court, coercive control, and the weaponization of childrenProtective parenting, resilience, and healing after profound traumaWhy listen If you are a survivor, protective parent, clinician, attorney, or advocate, this episode offers critical insight into how coercive control operates long before abuse is publicly recognized. Tonia’s story underscores why survivors are not naïve or weak—and why systems must do better to protect those who speak up.Guest bio (short) Tonia Bales is a survivor of coercive control and the author of When You See It: How I Outsmarted and Outlasted Dirty John. Her story sheds light on the early patterns of abuse used by predators and the long-term impact of coercive control on victims and children. Through her writing and advocacy, Tonia works to educate the public and professionals about how abuse hides in plain sight—and why survivors must be believed.Book information When You See It: How I Outsmarted and Outlasted Dirty John Available for presale on Amazon and Barnes & Noble Release date: January 13Connect Tonia Bales:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toniabales?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonia.bales/Book Pre-order Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FCDDC6FL?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGnHUKUJZ66YW-ed61SGw-lrKgFG6dnBGrVNG3HKq8--EQOpUpk0p_RHBPIooU_aem_yzp5bcFQZ3qA-0ZB2cUsZQBook Pre-order Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-you-see-it-tonia-bales/1147557107?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGnsCgCEudPLDgxvCiAhmFYxcmlITQgdX8Kg9N5ItIrcW5Doxah2aRfQpDKwmU_aem_nHP_j-GiGb8xTQFMQqQo4gConnect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Tonia Bales
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    37 min
  • The Unthinkable: A Child’s View of Coercive Control with David Challen

    The Unthinkable: A Child’s View of Coercive Control with David Challen
    Jan 2 2026
    In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by David Challen, author of The Unthinkable, who shares his experience growing up as a child inside a coercively controlling family system. David offers a rare and powerful perspective on coercive control through the eyes of a child—long before there was language to describe abuse, and long before systems were willing to see it.This conversation explores how coercive control creates an atmosphere of fear, vigilance, humiliation, and emotional captivity within families, even when there is no visible violence. David reflects on the early intuition that something was wrong, the “rot in the house” that others could not see, and how children normalize danger in order to survive. Together, we examine the intergenerational harm caused by coercive control and why children are not passive witnesses, but co-victims.What we coverWhat coercive control looks and feels like through the eyes of a childHow children sense danger, imbalance, and domination long before abuse is namedThe normalization of mockery, humiliation, fear, and emotional subservience within familiesWhy coercive control is not “hidden abuse,” but a trajectory of escalating harmHow long-term psychological domination strips autonomy, identity, and safety over timeThe concept of “systemic degradation” and how victims are worn down across years or decadesWhy victim retaliation is often misunderstood, mislabeled, and criminalizedThe long-term impact on adult child survivors and protective parentsWhy listen If you are a survivor, protective parent, adult child survivor, clinician, or legal professional, this episode offers critical insight into how coercive control operates inside families and why children are deeply affected—even when abuse is not outwardly visible. This conversation brings clarity to experiences that are often minimized, misunderstood, or dismissed, and highlights why coercive control must be recognized as the foundation of all abuse.Guest bio (short) David Challen is an author, speaker, and campaigner on domestic abuse and coercive control. He is the author of The Unthinkable, which tells the story of growing up in a coercively controlled household and the devastating impact of long-term psychological abuse on children and families. David is a prominent advocate for greater recognition of coercive control and has spoken widely about intergenerational harm, survivor justice, and systemic failure.Connect David Challen:Instagram: https://l1nq.com/davidinstagramTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@davidchallen?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pcLearn more about David: https://www.eida.org.uk/davids-storyWebsite: https://l1nq.com/davidchallenwebsiteThe Unthinkable: https://www.hachette.co.uk/titles/david-challen/the-unthinkable/9781914240263/Connect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest David Challen
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    39 min
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