Brian is no Andrew Tate. Jack is, because he's a misogynist. Jack reads for the audiobook Goldilocks by Zohran Mamdani. Jack was at Brian's wife's birthday party and things happened and then he roasted Brian's wife. Jack reads for the audiobook Tina The Assassin. Brian's son's letter from Marine Corps boot camp. Jack reads for the audiobook Training Your Dog. qmpodcast.com

Jack tries to land Lettuce Paradise as a sponsor. A milestone birthday. A stripper's guzzlebucket. Jack tries to land Lettuce Paradise as a sponsor again. Disneyland rides getting with the times. Jack tries to land Lettuce Paradise as a sponsor again.

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Jack and Brian open with their trademark banter riffing on the episode's tongue-in-cheek title: everyone claims to love vegetables, but nobody really does—setting a playful, satirical tone.

From there, they launch into "Senator Quackers", a political send-up where Jack embodies an absurd candidate (presumably a duck), delivering a humorous yet pointed take on modern election theatrics.

That segues into an audio skit—an imaginative reading called "Biding Time with Biden"—featuring Kamala Harris, layered with surreal commentary in Brian and Jack's signature smart-dumb style.

Next, they shift into a nostalgic — and wildly entertaining — deep dive into 1980s MTV nostalgia, celebrating icons like Martha Quinn and Downtown Julie Brown. They riff on how MTV shaped pop culture, playfully contrasting then and now.

Mid-episode, Brian dissects quirky cultural phenomenon by exploring the "hidden stories" behind famous song characters—offbeat anecdotes that latch into the episode's quirky intellectual vibe.

They then "travel" to Italy, poking fun at Tuscan reds and rolling their eyes at overhyped travel platforms—Airbnb versus "DrinkStay"—injecting snarky takes on contemporary vacation clichés .

Later, Jack hits his comedic stride with the improvised book-pitch bonanza, tossing out ludicrous titles (A Treatise on Gravity by Jasmine Crockett, What by Joe Biden, etc.) with deadpan precision—one of the funniest highlights of the show.

To close, they deliver a nostalgic salute to Nina Blackwood, wrapping up the episode with that classic affectionate-yet-absurd homage to '80s pop culture .

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Brian doesn't need pockets. Naked people and a dog in the woods. Jack auditions for "Race for the Presidency." James Corden and crew hid Biden's mental decline. How to trick crocodiles. Jack auditions for "Sherlock's Legacy." Brian was tasked with rehabilitating plastic-polluter Coke's reputation. Timely Shirley MacLaine reference. Jack auditions for "Untitled Zombie Movie."

Brian was a Swallow Scout. Another dead friend. Jack reads for a talking mime. Wilton CT Public Schools love social justice, but not really English. Jack's wife's up to no good. Jack reads for Wild Turkey. Brian talk about his rejected ad campaigns. Jack reads for Kensignton Organic Markets. qmpodcast.com

Jack reads for the Taylor Lorenz audiobook. Brian went on a tornado and flood adventure in rural Dixie. Slugburgers. Jack Junior is an umpire and needs tips. Jack reads for the Lauren Sanchez audiobook. Brian interned for the KGB and was paid in prostitutes. Jack reads for the Body Works School Textbook. qmpodcast.com