In this Open House episode of Beyond the Norms, we host a bold, honest, and community-driven conversation on rape, indecent dressing, and women’s liberality in Nigerian society. With multiple guest voices in the room, this episode examines some of the most controversial and misunderstood narratives surrounding sexual violence.

We begin with the provocative statement, “She is not dressed indecently; you are the one thinking like a rapist,” using it as a springboard to unpack society’s fixation on women’s dressing and the culture of victim blaming. From there, we explore liberality in dressing, cultural definitions of indecency in Nigeria, and the ongoing debate around whether laws should regulate dress codes.

The discussion goes deeper into uncomfortable but necessary questions: Can rape occur within marriage? Does marriage remove the need for consent? We also examine whether indecent dressing is truly a cause of rape, especially considering that many victims were not dressed “indecently” at all. This leads us to address underlying causes of rape, including power, entitlement, and abuse within trusted spaces.

We also confront the reality of rape among loved ones and guardians, challenging the narratives that often silence these experiences. To close, we discuss consent — whether it should be continuous, explicit, and respected in all relationships.

This episode is not about providing final answers, but about asking the right questions and challenging deeply rooted societal norms.