Reclaiming the Self After Narcissistic Harm and Boundary Collapse
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Reclaiming the Self After Narcissistic Harm and Boundary Collapse
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In this episode, we explore what boundaries really mean when survival, burnout, and long-term relational harm are part of the story. Leanne Wildly speaks from lived experience about healing from narcissistic abuse rooted in both childhood and adult relationships. She reflects on how violations become normalized early, how spiritual and caregiving roles can complicate recognition of harm, and what it takes to rebuild a sense of self after long periods of emotional control, gaslighting, and erasure that includes systems that are not trauma-informed. Sheryl Green is the author of You Had Me At No: How Setting Healthy Boundaries Helps You Banish Burnout, Repair Relationships, and Save Your Sanity. She joins the program to talk about boundary depletion. The slow erosion of self that happens when people spend years managing others’ emotions, over-functioning in families or workplaces, and saying yes at the cost of their own wellbeing. Drawing from her own experience of severe burnout and recovery, Sheryl shares how boundaries are not about becoming rigid or confrontational, but about becoming rooted. Clear, grounded, and self-led. She discusses practical ways people can begin reclaiming time, energy, and identity without guilt or collapse. Together, this conversation examines the intersection between boundary collapse and abuse, especially for helpers, caregivers, and people socialized to be accommodating. Rather than framing boundaries as self-help tactics, this episode looks at them as a necessary foundation for survival, recovery, and integrity. It asks what it means to stop shrinking, stop over-explaining, and begin living from a place that actually feels like your own. This is a conversation about clarity after confusion, rootedness after depletion, and learning to honor yourself without abandoning connection. Music: Shari Ulrich
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