In this episode, we reframe forgiveness as a well-being practice — not a moral obligation. Many of us replay painful interactions, feel stuck in old stories, or carry anger far longer than we want to. Today, we’re drawing on the work of Dr. Frederic Luskin, Director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, to explore what forgiveness really is, why it matters for our mental health, and how anyone can begin practicing it.

We break down Luskin’s research on stress reduction, resilience, and emotional healing. We clarify what forgiveness is (an internal shift toward peace) and what it’s not (forgetting, excusing, or reconciling). We explore why we get stuck — rumination loops, “unenforceable rules,” and the way unprocessed hurt becomes chronic stress.

We also walk through Luskin’s 9-Step Forgiveness Model, a practical and research-backed guide anyone can try. From grounding techniques (like PERT) to letting go of impossible expectations to rewriting your personal story, these steps help us create safety in the nervous system and move toward freedom rather than continued suffering.

Resources:

• https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/nine_steps_to_forgiveness

• https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_is_forgiveness

• https://a.co/d/2pygWHN

• https://www.virtuesforlife.com/qa-on-forgiveness-with-dr-fred-luskin/

• https://www.phoenix-society.org/resources/the-practice-and-power-of-forgiveness-with-fred-luskin

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