10 Practical Steps for Handling Upset Individuals in Small Group Ministry

In this episode of SG Squared, Pastor Steve Gladen, with over 25 years of small group ministry experience, and his co-host Derek discuss valuable advice on managing upset individuals within small group ministry. The conversation includes light-hearted pre-show banter about their college football teams, but focuses deeply on equipping listeners with 10 practical tips for dealing with conflict. Key points discussed include listening actively, validating feelings, offering practical support, and much more. The episode concludes with the importance of patience and understanding that not all conflict situations will be resolved immediately. Listen in to gain essential tools to foster peaceful and empathetic conversations within your ministry.

10 Tips For Tough Conversations (and to download the full notes click HERE)

• Start the time in prayer.
• Make the meeting in a quiet public place
• Listen actively and empathetically: Allow the member to express their feelings without interruption or judgment. Show that you are truly hearing them by nodding, making eye contact, and offering verbal affirmations like "I understand" or "That sounds really tough."
• Validate their feelings: Let them know that their feelings are understandable given the situation. You can say something like, "It makes sense that you feel [upset emotion] about this" or "I can see why you'd be frustrated." Get to a place where you can express that "feelings" aren't "facts".
• Offer practical support (if appropriate): Ask if there's anything they are looking for to be done. This could help you know how extreme they are coming from or they just may want to be heard. You can help them brainstorm solutions, or simply pray with them.
• Suggest a distraction or activity: Sometimes a change of scenery or a fun activity can help shift their mood. This could be going for a walk, watching a movie, or doing something they enjoy. However, be sensitive to their readiness for this and don't push it if they prefer to talk. A prayer meditation time may bring another perspective. BBasically focus on Jesus versus the situation.
• Remind them of your support: Reassure them that you care about them and are there for them. A simple "I'm here for you" or "You're not alone in this" can be very powerful.
• Encourage self-care: Suggest activities that might help them relax and de-stress, like taking a quiet time, listening to music, or getting some rest.
• Avoid minimizing their feelings: Don't say things like "It's not that big of a deal" or "You're overreacting." Even if the issue seems small to you, it's significant to them.
• Don't offer unsolicited advice: Unless they specifically ask for your opinion or solutions, focus on listening and validating. Sometimes people just need to vent.
• Share a relevant experience (briefly and cautiously): If you've gone through something similar, you might briefly share your experience to show solidarity, but avoid making the conversation about you.
• Be patient: It can take time for someone to process their emotions. Continue to check in with them and offer support as they navigate their feelings.

00:00 Welcome to SG Squared
00:21 Pre-Show Banter and Game Week Excitement
03:24 Addressing National Tensions and Church Relevance
04:17 Setting Up for Practical Tips
11:04 10 Practical Tips for Handling Upset People
28:07 Bonus Tips and Final Thoughts
33:09 Closing Remarks and Subscription Reminder

SGN Update #3 & 10 Things That Could Be A Part Of Your Group Guidelines

Join hosts Steve Gladen and Derek Olson for a lively and insightful episode packed with updates from the Small Group Network and a practical deep dive into crafting effective small group guidelines. Steve shares the latest on SGN’s mission, new initiatives, and the ongoing effort to end loneliness among pastors and church members. Then, the duo unpacks 10 essential elements you can include in your group’s guidelines, drawing from decades of small group ministry experience. Whether you’re launching a new group or looking to strengthen an existing one, this episode is full of wisdom, humor, and actionable tips.

Chapters & Timestamps:

• [00:00] Introduction & Banter
  • Derek and Steve kick off with some friendly sports rivalry, coffee cup confessions, and updates on Steve’s “office on wheels.”
• [04:18] SGN Update: New Initiatives & State Reps
  • Steve shares exciting news about SGN’s 501(c)(3) status, upcoming Bible engagement resources, and the push to recruit state representatives to combat loneliness and resource churches nationwide.
• [09:35] How to Get Involved
  • Learn how you can become a state rep, make an impact, and connect with Steve directly.
• [10:55] Why Group Guidelines Matter
  • The hosts explain the importance of group covenants/guidelines and how they set expectations for healthy, thriving small groups.
• [12:17] 10 Things That Could Be Part of Your Group Guidelines
  1. Clear Purpose – Define your group’s mission and goals.
  2. Group Attendance – Commit to regular, intentional meetings.
  3. Safe Environment – Foster a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing.
  4. Confidentiality – Build trust by keeping group discussions private (with legal exceptions).
  5. Conflict Resolution – Handle disagreements biblically and directly.
  6. Spiritual Health – Encourage accountability and growth in faith.
  7. Limit Our Freedom – Be sensitive to others’ backgrounds and struggles.
  8. Welcome Newcomers – Keep your group open and inviting.
  9. Building Relationships – Go deeper through authentic community and subgrouping.
  10. Teamwork – Involve everyone in the group’s life and mission.
• [32:56] Final Thoughts & Encouragement
  • Steve and Derek wrap up with practical advice for customizing your group guidelines and a reminder to revisit them regularly.
• [37:01] How to Become a State Leader
  • Steve outlines the proactive and reactive roles of a state leader and invites passionate listeners to join the mission.
• [37:01] Closing & Call to Action
  • Don’t forget to subscribe and visit smallgroupnetwork.com for more resources, support, and opportunities to connect.

Ready to take your small group to the next level?
Explore more resources and join the community at https://smallgroupnetwork.com!

Five Essential Tips for Setting Up Strong Small Groups This Fall with Steve Gladen

In this engaging episode of SG Squared, Derek hosts Steve Gladen, a seasoned small group ministry leader with over 25 years of experience, to share five essential tips for setting up strong small groups this fall. Steve makes two major announcements, discussing his departure from Saddleback Church and future plans to focus on the global church and develop the Small Group Network. The five tips covered include clarifying the 'why,' checking in with processes and people, listening well, saying thank you, and modeling openness. By implementing these strategies, leaders can bolster their small group ministries and impact discipleship effectively. Don't miss out on these practical insights to help you prepare for the upcoming fall season and beyond.

00:00 Welcome and Introduction
01:14 Big Announcements from Steve Gladen
02:51 Transitioning to Global Church Work
08:11 Five Tips for Strong Small Groups This Fall
09:23 Tip 1: Clarify the Why
12:08 Tip 2: Check In
15:53 Tip 3: Listen Well
19:37 Tip 4: Say Thank You
23:02 Tip 5: Model Openness
27:07 Final Thoughts and Farewell