This week on Sacrilegious Discourse, we slog through 1 Maccabees 10, a chapter that’s basically Game of Thrones if every character was a walking pronoun problem and every plot twist was solved with a gift basket. Alexander Epiphanes shows up, grabs territory, and Demetrius responds like a petty ex—“NO, I’M the king!”—and suddenly everyone’s trying to buy Jonathan’s loyalty like he’s the swing state of Judea.

The highlight: political bribery dressed up as “friendship.” One guy offers tax breaks and construction money like he’s running a campaign platform, and the other sends a purple robe like it’s an MLM starter kit. Jonathan pops on the holy outfit at The Feast of Tabernacles and the hosts spiral into “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” vibes, Alexander Hamilton jokes, and the uncomfortable realization that this “Bible” content keeps forgetting to include… God.

And because holy war stories can’t just be politics, they’ve also gotta be war crimes, we get cities burned, a temple torched, and an “about 8,000 men” body count delivered with the same energy as reviewing a bad Yelp experience. Then Jonathan gets rewarded with a golden buckle (Texas core) and more land, because apparently the theological message of the day is: “massacre first, accessorize later.”

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👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC

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📌 Topics Covered:

• 1 Maccabees 10 as a “historical” book that keeps forgetting to be… y’know… religious
• Demetrius vs. Alexander: the ancient world’s dumbest loyalty bidding war
• Purple robes, holy garments, and “high priest” cosplay as political power plays
• “We’ll grant you immunities” — ancient tax policy bribery, now in Bible flavor
• Cleopatra shows up (not that Cleopatra) and the kings throw a pomp-filled wedding
• The “pronoun fog” rant: who pursued whom and why this book wants us to suffer
• Burning cities + a temple = “gross” (correct)
• 8,000 dead/burned… then a shiny buckle reward because priorities are garbage

💬 Best Quote from the Episode:

“If you have sex with Antiochus… then you can say… I had an epiphany.”

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Trump’s Religious Liberty Commission (created by executive order on May 1, 2025) gets the Sacrilegious Discourse treatment: suspicious side-eye, gallows humor, and a full roll-call of the “God Club” lineup, starting with chair Dan Patrick and vice-chair Ben Carson.

The hosts tear into what “religious liberty” actually means when it’s being pitched by Christian power brokers: not freedom from religion, but freedom to be religious at everyone else, especially in government and the military. The episode spotlights the Commission’s hearings (including the fourth hearing on religious liberty in the military on December 11) and why the “we just want to distribute Bibles” vibe is doing a lot of theocratic heavy lifting.

And then it gets even weirder: the list includes prosperity gospel powerhouse Paula White, political operator Pam Bondi, and, because reality is a prank, Dr. Phil. The conversation bounces between rage, sarcasm, and dark “are we getting hauled to a tribunal?” humor, plus a mini detour where the audience live-fact-checks a “robber barons” argument mid-recording.

👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com

👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC

👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse

📌 Topics Covered:

• Trump’s Religious Liberty Commission, created May 1, 2025 (and already giving “oops, all theocrats” energy)
• The “God Club” roster: Dan Patrick, Ben Carson, and an avalanche of culture-war Catholic/Christian operatives
• The December 11 hearing on “religious liberty in the military” and why that phrase should come with a warning label
• The quiet part out loud: “religious liberty” as a pipeline to Christian nationalism in public institutions
• IRS “won’t enforce the Johnson Amendment” and why that’s basically a tax-free megaphone for political church campaigns
• Prosperity gospel cameo: Paula White (because of course)
• The “worst timeline” casting choice: Dr. Phil on a religious liberty commission (make it stop)
• Live Discord fact-check energy: the robber barons argument that became an on-air victory lap

💬 Best Quote from the Episode (actual quote):

“Jesus Christ. Um, this is the worst possible timeline. It’s so badly written.”

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Sacrilegious Discourse, we crack open 1 Maccabees 9 and immediately get hit with seasonal chaos (“Jingle bell, jingle bell…”), plus a refresher rant about the book’s absolute felony-level pronoun abuse. Husband and Wife are begging the text to pick a “they” and stay there—because it keeps swapping who the subject is mid-sentence like it’s trying to start a fight.

Chapter-wise, the big headline is: Judas goes full macho “die with honor” mode instead of doing the sensible thing (retreat, regroup), and—shocking twist—gets killed for it. The hosts call it: this was telegraphed, and the Maccabean “Klingon code” is not a survival strategy.

After Judas drops, the story lurches into famine, betrayal, and Bacchides playing whack-a-rebel—while Jonathan inherits the mess and tries to do war logistics with “storage unit” energy and a wedding ambush that even the hosts can’t confidently untangle. Then we get a Jordan River escape that turns into fantasy lore (“are they fae??”), and the episode closes out with a rare vibe for this book: basically no God involvement—just humans doing human violence and calling it destiny.

👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com

👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC

👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse

📌 Topics Covered:

• 1 Maccabees 9 recap—Judas chooses “honor” and immediately eats consequences.
• Pronoun abuse so bad it becomes a recurring character.
• “Albus Dumbledore” and Bacchides return—because history needed a villain rerun.
• Jonathan takes over, everyone panics, and the plot starts sprinting sideways.
• The Jordan River escape… plus the theory that the enemy can’t cross water because fae rules, apparently.
• “Authors of wickedness” becomes an accidental career aspiration (briefly).
• The episode’s running theme: less “God did it,” more “people did war.”

💬 Best Quote from the Episode:

“I want to be an author of wickedness… Oh, my God. Oh, that is my… My goal in life now is to be an author of the wickedness.”

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.