Page de couverture de Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

Auteur(s): Shawna Scafe Professional Counsellor
Écouter gratuitement

À propos de cet audio

 When the clutter, motherhood, relationships, and life seem too overwhelming. When you have resentment and frustration every day – this is a sign you have been living on auto-pilot- letting life happen to you instead of living it ON PURPOSE. I’ve been there. Three kids under 4 and I decided to declutter my home and realized I was living my whole life on autopilot. I wanted more. I wanted to take action, be more present, have more fun! Enjoy my kids! I’m Shawna, You might know me as your Nerdy Girlfriend. I am a Certified Coach Practitioner, a Transformational Life Coach, and Registered Professional Counsellor-Candidate (RPC-C). I use the Enneagram, Faith and CBT as tools in my life coaching approach. I teach moms around the world the tools they need to set values and vision for the 9 areas of their lives so they can take the right steps towards living life ON PURPOSE. Find my books, course and blog at simpleonpurpose.caShawna Scafe Christianisme Développement personnel Pastorale et évangélisme Relations Réussite Spiritualité Éducation des enfants
Épisodes
  • 209. What I hope you take away from the Simple on Purpose podcast (retirement party!)

    209. What I hope you take away from the Simple on Purpose podcast (retirement party!)
    Jun 25 2024
    Dearest listeners, today is the finale episode where I share with you my experience of the podcast, answer your questions and sum up the takeaways I hope you have had from listening to the podcast. Episode topics and related links the start of the blog My C-Section & The Feelings I Was Ashamed to Admit my two main goals with the podcasthow the podcast has changed me How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life)Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types)anchor words (Bless It and Release It came from Stef Gass) Making life adjustments looking at decisions through the lens of our resources You Can Simplify Your Life Series our relationship with time Don’t wait for the Golden Years (seeing gold in the every day) growing through turning off the autopilot and taking an opposite action 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?79. Six signs you are living your life on autopilot (and what to do about it) listening to your life Listening To Your LifeShow Up For Your Life [series] What I hope listeners take away from the podcast (my wishes for you) It is ok to feel your feelings all episodes on feelings are in this playlist if you can’t access that playlist, start here with 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions everything is hard AND awesome 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives.207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships)201. Overcoming negative self-talk and to moving towards positive self-talk you are not alone 145. You aren’t alone mama, I go through that too76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) address conflict, rather than avoid it 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? take care of yourself The Meeting Your Needs Series own your life I was a Mom Martyr, here’s how to tell if you are too and what to do about itBuild a life based on your own definition of success, not everyone else’s definition small things matter 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) enjoy your life When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them)203. Being a mom who enjoys her lifeEnjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it)163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun Ways to stay connected Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email Save the Spotify playlists, grouped by themeEmail or DM me the topic you are looking for, I’m sure there is an episode on it and I will send it your wayOf course, 1:1 coaching and counselling is available Listener Faves This a list of episodes that listeners sent to me, as being their fave episode of the Simple on Purpose podcast The ‘mom martyr’ episode 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) The most common search term, of late When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Mindset for new moms 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers Letting go of our ego 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. Building a sense of capability vs a sense of control 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Hearing from moms of each enneagram type The Enneagram + Motherhood Series Various conversations around self-care The Meeting Your Needs Series Living on autopilot 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? Framing your experience of motherhood 53. Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories Full transcript (unedited) 0:07 Hey, it’s Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the finale episode of Simple on purpose. Yes, I am retiring. But the podcast episodes, they’re all gonna stay here for you to use the archives. And all the different topics we’ve covered over the years are gonna stay here. But this is our retirement party episode, I want to sprinkle in some input from you listeners that you’ve sent in. I want to toast to what I’ve learned during the podcast, and I want to make some retirement wishes to send along with you. Yep, it’s the retirement speech you didn’t ask for but you’re gonna get it. And we’re going to start of course, with some twinkling flashback music, to where it all began. You’ve heard me share this, maybe I started blogging in 2011. After my first child was born by emergency C section, it was a difficult delivery was a difficult experience. And I felt like nobody really got what I went through because my circle of moms didn’t have that experience. I was feeling really overwhelmed with these emotions and what to do with them and who to talk to. And my postnatal nurse recommended I write about it. And that was ...
    Voir plus Voir moins
    21 min
  • 208. Improve relationships with this simple tool (bids for connection)

    208. Improve relationships with this simple tool (bids for connection)
    May 28 2024
    Years ago I learned a simple tool that has improved all my relationships. This tool is about looking for the cues that others are giving us – and using those times to connect. They are called Bids For Connection, a Gottman term. I will outline what bids are, ways to respond, and how to simplify the process. Before we jump in, 👉🏼 remember to stay connected through the Simple Saturdays email, 📧 you can sign up here. Key points and related links What bids for connection are Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped us heal and strengthen itWhen They Tell Me I’m Lucky to Have HimWhy it’s worth paying attention to love languages and expectations in marriage Noticing different types of bids for connection in your partner, kids and friends Gottman’s list of type of bids Three responses to bids for connection (turning towards, away, against) Gottman research on bids and relationship success Applying bids for connection to parenting Recognizing your own bids for connection, and unmet needsBenefits of responding to bids for connection with empathy 85. When empathy is hard in marriage and friendships84. How parenting with empathy can transform your relationship207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships) Starting simple by noticing and responding to bids for connection Using bids to connect through presence, not just problem-solving16. When did I stop enjoying my kids? Knowing your vision and values. The best waffles ever.203. Being a mom who enjoys her life Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it’s Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpler purpose.ca. Welcome to this and on purpose podcast or right away. Announcement, I mentioned probably in the emails, at least maybe on the podcast, I can’t remember that I will be wrapping up the podcast for the summer. And at this point, what I am deciding to do is actually retire the podcast, at least for the time being, I just shared this in the Patreon as well, because I’ll be shutting that down. The main reason is that I am taking on a new job and going to be working more hours there. So it’s a matter of me just juggling the hours that I do work because I do mainly kind of work school time hours. So I need to be very discerning on the work I choose to do. And I wanted to really choose the work that I really love the most. And for me, that’s a one to one clients. So I’m going to unpack this a lot more, I’m going to have a retirement party episode coming up, I’m going to ask for your input your feedback. So watch out for an email on that coming soon. If you are part of the simple Saturday’s email, you will get that, if not, I recommend signing up for that I will be continuing this simple Saturday’s email, I’ll put a link in the show notes on that. So in light of that, I want to get to the topic. And I’m actually really excited that this is one of the final topics that I’m sharing on the podcast, because to me, it is such a great tool. And it’s such a great practice to bring into our relationships. And I’ve been talking a lot about relationships in the Patreon this month in here on the podcast. And this is a tool that is from the goblins. If you’ve heard of the goblins, they are a couple of psychologists and researchers. They are a couple. And they are all so these things and they use study relationships mainly love relationships. And their training for therapists is so good. I’ve taken it. I’ve loved it. There’s so many practical tools and simple concepts. And this is one of them. It is called bids for connection bids for connection and I might just call them bids. While I’m talking about this. The first time I heard about bids for connection was at a time when we were at a really challenging time in our marriage. We had a lot of walls up a lot of resentment a lot of scorekeeping, a lot of fear a lot of pride. I’ve shared a bit on this on the on the blog, so I’ll make sure to link that in the show notes. But I was probably looking at things on connection or how to improve our communication or something noble, like how to get my husband to validate me more, I came across this article and explained what bids for connection are and how they can be a really basic way to improve your relationship and I text it to my husband. And at this time he was really used to being peppered with my hashtag advice. But this is something he actually read and reply to he said something like that was good. I agree. And for me at that time, it felt really pivotal because I had sent him lots of things in the past always didn’t get an answer. So this felt to me kind of like answered prayers level to have that response from him. A bit for connection is any attempt you make at engaging with another person. This can be verbal attempts, direct questions, or comments or even comments that aren’t necessarily directed ...
    Voir plus Voir moins
    17 min
  • 207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships)

    207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships)
    May 10 2024
    We all make assumptions and judgments of others – but did you know there is a bias we have in our judgements? This bias shows up in all of our relationships and it can create an opposition and divide in places we actually want empathy and compassion. In this episode we explore the Fundamental Attribution Bias, how it impacts our relationships and what to do about it. As mentioned in the episode, you can find the Spotify playlists here, and sign up for Simple Saturdays here. Key topics covered in this episode The purpose of relationships, how this has shifted over generations Relationships and wellbeing: The Havard Adult Development Study Making assumptions about others Filling in the blanks and mind-reading 199. Mindset traps to be aware of (cognitive distortions that might be holding you back in motherhood and life) Perception is a projection, how our judgements and assumptions can reflect our own struggles and opinions The Fundamental Attribution Bias How we judge the action of others vs how we judge: character or circumstance The me vs them mentality (or Us vs Them)Examples of it in marriage 62. My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t care about me (love languages and expectations in marriage) Awareness and empathy 84. How parenting with empathy can transform your relationship85. When empathy is hard in marriage and friendships Accepting the hard parts of ourselves 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. Getting 1:1 coaching support Book a session with Shawna here FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey guys, it’s Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. I want to give you a heads up right away this podcast will retire for the summer. So just a heads up. Our summer starts at the end of June. I encourage you in those months to use the archives, we have over five years of episodes on all of the topics. So if you want to be intentional about listening to them, I suggest you use the Spotify playlists and define those, you can go to simple on purpose.ca and click listen. You’ll find the links to the playlist we’ve got them on different topics like habit change mom on purpose, life on purpose, minimalism emotions, they’re all there for you check them out. And this summer also follow along with a simple Saturday’s email. If you aren’t a subscriber, I definitely encourage you to join that that is just a really like, warm and cozy place that I love to be with you guys. It comes out every two weeks, so it’s not gonna overwhelm your inbox. And I like to share some simple and purposes, purpose thoughts, some posts you might like. And that’s actually where you guys gave me this nickname, your nerdy girlfriend. So it’s a really great space to be. I’ll link that in the show notes as well. Let’s get into today’s episode this month, we’re talking about relationships. What is the purpose of a relationship? Is it to support your survival, emotional support, to entertain you to find love to find connection. This has definitely changed over the years of purpose of a relationship, especially if you look in the context of a marriage. It used to be about survival for a woman to be under the care of a man that was the world that was the culture unfortunately, it still is in some places. But even friends and communities, there was a need for support and survival, there was a need to do things together. So it is a more modern concept that our relationships are there to entertain us to make us feel loved to feel connected and seen and valued for the better and the worst, right, and that’s a whole other topic. But we all know that we are a social species. And maybe some of us feel that it is definitely true, that relationships are important to us to our to our well being. studies have concluded this that supportive relationships are actually the number one predictor of well being in your life, it’s not money, it’s not your health or your job or how trendy your clothes are. It is people deep relationships. This is from the longest running study on the topic called that Harvard adult development study. If you have some people in your life, and it doesn’t need to be a lot that you feel like you can rely on who you support, and they support you that is the highest predictor of feeling well being in your life. Kind of crazy. So we know deep within us that we need relationships for many reasons. However, we run into obstacles just to be in the daily life of relationships with others, I want to talk about a common way that we create opposition in our relationships. And that is our assumptions. We fill in the blanks a lot. We fill in the blanks on what others are thinking we do this more often than we should probably we mind read. Have you ever mind read what your husband was thinking and decided he’s probably mad at, you know, just me, we fill in ...
    Voir plus Voir moins
    17 min
Tout
Les plus pertinents
I have been searching for someone relatable and able to give great advice for the days to day of mothering and all the things around it. Shawna ticks all the boxes and more. highly recommend 👌

A must listen

Un problème est survenu. Veuillez réessayer dans quelques minutes.