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The busy holiday season is here, and that means lots of demands on our time and attention. It also means navigating tricky family gatherings with difficult people.

A common question this time of year is whether or not to engage your trollish Uncle Jerry or stand down to keep the peace.

This episode is all about how to tap into what will feel true and authentic to you, so you can walk this line confidently and on your own terms.

In this episode you'll find:

• Perspectives on authenticity and values from psychology
• Internal Family Systems (IFS)/Parts Work strategies for solving your interpersonal dilemmas
• Guidance from Buddhism and The Yoga Sutras

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SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

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Rug up and head outside for this outdoors walking meditation. Practiced by the Buddha himself, walking meditation is an antidote to restless and aching joints and can be practiced anywhere you you're already walking.

The meditation starts at 2:56 if you want to jump ahead, but assumes you're already outside and ready to go.

Halfway through the practice (~15mins), you'll be prompted to pause the recording if you want continue for longer. Just hit play again when you're about 15 minutes from your final destination.

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SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

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Jen's back from a brief hiatus to talk about how to build a sustainable spiritual/contemplative practice that can withstand the shifting demands of your time and energy. You can't really lose a practice, but circumstances change and your practice can and should change with you.

In this episode you'll find

• Why "class" as a construct isn't the paradigm you need to follow when crafting your personal home practice
• What the Buddha's Raft Parable can tell us about letting your practice adapt to your situation and not the other way around
• How to approach resistance in your practice with support from IFS Parts Work and the Four Hindrances

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SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

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While Jen's taking a mini-break to get her homework done, here's the second of two short practices based on research she did last summer.

If you're curious about the theory behind these yin yoga micro-practices, check out the last segment of Episode #113, where she talks about how practices like this can boost your mood by reducing tension and elevating your energy.

In this micro-practice, Jen guides three yin yoga poses while directing your attention to the the breath.

The sequence uses minimal verbal cues and several minutes of silence for each pose to help you deepen into the embodied experience.

Poses: sphinx + reclining twist on each side

Suggested/Optional Props: folded blanket, blocks, small cushions

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SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

Text me your feedback.

While Jen's taking a mini-break to get her homework done, she's bringing you the first of two short practices based on research she did last summer.

If you're curious about the theory behind these yin yoga micro-practices, check out the last segment of Episode #113, where she talks about how practices like this can boost your mood by reducing tension and elevating your energy.

In this micro-practice, Jen guides three yin yoga poses while directing your attention to the physical experience of being in the poses.

The sequence uses minimal verbal cues and several minutes of silence for each pose to help you deepen into the embodied experience.

Poses: butterfly + half butterfly on each side

Suggested/Optional Props: folded blanket, blocks, small cushions

~ ~ ~

SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

Text me your feedback.

This is an encore practice with former co-host Sarah Jane Shangraw from back in November 2019.

Developed by Tara Brach, RAIN is a technique you can use to skillfully relate to difficult emotions in life, whether they turn up in a meditation session or in daily life. The acronym — which stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture — invites us to accept inner discord with an open heart.

I, Jen, wanted to share this practice as a companion to the most recent episode on Self-Compassion (#113). RAIN evolved as an approach to working with the hindrances, where the Buddha himself implored us to meet common meditation obstacles (aversion, craving, dullness, restlessness, and doubt) as inevitable and, therefore, not worthy of self-criticism. The practice of RAIN provides us with steps for letting go of self-judgement while inviting in the natural impulse to alleviate our own suffering through kindness and acceptance.

You can find Sarah Jane at https://www.sarahjaneshangraw.com/coaching.html where she offers online classes and coaching support.

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SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

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To wrap up the 4-part series on practices and teachings that nature open-heartedness, we're focusing on self-compassion.

We can be our own worst critics, but the wisdom teachings want us to remember that compassion shouldn also be directed towards ourselves. We are, after all, manifestations of the divine.

So, in this episode we look at what Buddhism, Yoga, and Taoism have to say about self-compassion (which - spoiler - isn't much!) through the lens of moderation, non-harming, and cultivating contentment. We also take a look at what modern psychology research - primarily by Dr. Kristen Neff - has to say about the benefits of self-compassion.

Jen also answers a listener question about how to get started with Buddhist practice before sharing a bit of context behind the two yin yoga micro-practices she's sharing in October.

Resources Mentioned on the Show

• Self-compassion.org ~ hosted by Dr. Kristen Neff
• Self-compassion exercises: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/
• Buddha ~ by Karen Armstrong
• Siddharta ~ by Herman Hesse
• Buddhism: A Concise Introduction ~ by Huston Smith & Philip Novak
• Essential Buddhism: A Complete Guide to Beliefs and Practices ~ by Jack Maquire
• The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings ~ by Thich Nhat Hanh
• Bhavana Society Meditation Center
• Plum Village Practice Centers
• Plum Village Meditation Groups
• Mindfulness in Plain English ~ by Bante Gunaratana
• Dharmaseed

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SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.

Text me your feedback.

In order to be an open-hearted, compassionate person, we first have to notice the things things that need our support. This is where mindfulness — the practice of presence — comes in. It teaches how to engage directly with what's real, rather than what we wish were true.

This month we're back to mindfulness basics with a guided practice that starts with concentration practice (samata) and then follows with insight (vipassana). The practice starts right away (no intro) and includes periods of silence (nothing wrong with your player).

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SMP welcomes your comments and questions at feedback@skillfulmeanspodcast.com. You can also get in touch with Jen through her website: https://www.sati.yoga

Fill out this survey to help guide the direction of the show: https://airtable.com/appM7JWCQd7Q1Hwa4/pagRTiysNido3BXqF/form

To support the show, consider a donation via Ko-Fi.