What if the most powerful tool we have to reduce school violence isn’t a perfect policy, but a daily choice to truly see each other? That’s the heart of our conversation with educator and speaker Jesse Hansen, who has spent 21 years inside junior highs and high schools teaching the psychology of meanness—and how to break the hate cycle with sincere, strategic kindness.

We trace common motives behind school shootings—justice, revenge, and fame—and uncover the deeper driver connecting them: the desperate need to be seen. Jesse explains “grievance collecting,” the way small slights stack over years, and offers a practical, science-backed response teens can use when faced with cruelty. Instead of platitudes like “kill them with kindness,” she teaches a disarming script that creates cognitive dissonance: respond to active meanness with honest empathy and clear boundaries. It’s not weakness; it’s strength that rewrites the script and denies bullies the reaction they crave.

Jesse also shares the turning point that changed her own story, when a junior high principal combined firm accountability with genuine care and said, “I see you.” We talk about the power of one caring adult, how relational aggression weaponizes belonging, and why naming behaviors—exclusion, manipulation, isolation—helps kids stop taking cruelty personally. Then we dive into the Kindest Kid in America project, a nationwide effort that celebrates real acts of kindness by writing custom children’s books about the winners and surprising them at school assemblies. If violence can be contagious through notoriety, kindness can be even more contagious through recognition, storytelling, and community pride.

You’ll leave with practical language for hard moments, new ways to model strength with compassion online and off, and a simple invitation: be the adult who sees a child. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend, and nominate a student for Kindest Kid in America at kindestkidinamerica.com. Your story might be the one that changes theirs.

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Ever ask “How was your day?” and get “fine”? We dig into why that question stalls and what to ask instead to unlock real stories, richer details, and genuine confidence. With strategist and storyteller Anna Tran, we explore the simple shift that changes everything: listen first, then guide with curious questions that help kids hear themselves think.

We talk about transforming shy voices into self-assured communicators by making storytelling a daily ritual, not a performance. Think eye-level conversations, calm pauses, and prompts that open doors: What made you feel proud? Who surprised you at lunch? What did you learn that you didn’t expect? As children narrate their day, they practice structure, recall, empathy, and clarity—the same skills leaders use in boardrooms. We also draw parallels between coaching teams and parenting: when we ask better questions and avoid rushing to fix, kids develop agency and problem-solving muscles that last.

Social media hovers over modern childhood, so we tackle how to build offline self-worth before the likes arrive. We share ways to spot unhelpful thought patterns, create healthy digital boundaries, and ground a child’s identity in effort, kindness, and contribution. Practical tools make it doable: a family gratitude jar for tough days, a one-minute story round after dinner, and a rotating “listener-leader” whose job is to ask follow-ups before anyone gives advice. Along the way, we trade honest stories—from sibling dynamics to classroom debates—to show how small habits become lifelong confidence.

If this conversation sparks an idea, try one prompt at dinner tonight and watch what unfolds. Subscribe for more practical tools on confident communication, share this with a parent who needs a fresh question, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.

Get a free mini lesson plus 52 prompts so your kids can practice every week here!

Thanks for Listening to Speak Out, Stand Out

Like what you hear? We would love if you would rate and review our podcast so it can reach more families.

Also - grab our free mini lesson on impromptu speaking here. This is ideal for kids ages 6+.

Interested in checking out our Public Speaking & Debate courses? Find more here!

Fear of failure doesn’t vanish with pep talks, and comparison doesn’t make kids try harder. We sat down with psychologist and author Dr. Kate Lund to explore practical ways families can trade perfection pressure for resilient growth—without asking kids to be fearless. Kate shares her powerful personal story of growing up with hydrocephalus and how her parents focused on who she was, not what she had. That lens—see strengths, acknowledge limits, stay connected—anchors everything we unpack, from sibling dynamics to teen pushback.

We get specific about the moments parents struggle most: a cautious child who won’t start unless success is guaranteed, a sibling who races ahead and sets an unhelpful bar, and a teenager who says, “You don’t get it.” Kate lays out clear moves that change the tone. Lead with active listening to earn trust, share your own stumbles only when it serves them, and replace outcome fixation with process praise. We dig into the comparison trap—why it erodes motivation—and how shifting to individualized expectations helps each child see their unique path. Instead of sizing kids against each other, we ask: what strengths did you use today, and where did effort show up?

You’ll leave with two simple habits that deliver real results. First, the relaxation response: five minutes of focused breathing with a soothing word builds a calm baseline so challenges don’t spike into shutdown. Second, the daily wins exercise: write three to five things that went well to counter negativity bias and reinforce progress. These tools travel well across school, sports, and friendships, helping kids face hard things, learn from missteps, and try again with more confidence.

If fear, comparison, or constant self-critique has been steering your home, this conversation offers a reset grounded in empathy, science, and doable routines. Listen, share it with a friend who needs it, and if it helped, follow the show and leave a quick review so more parents can find these tools.

Connect with Dr. Kate

Find her on Instagram here, or check out her book Step Away: The Keys to Resilient Parenting on Amazon.

Get a free mini lesson plus 52 prompts so your kids can practice every week here!

Thanks for Listening to Speak Out, Stand Out

Like what you hear? We would love if you would rate and review our podcast so it can reach more families.

Also - grab our free mini lesson on impromptu speaking here. This is ideal for kids ages 6+.

Interested in checking out our Public Speaking & Debate courses? Find more here!