"That was a long time ago. I don't think it affects me anymore."

Have you ever said this about something from your past? In this deeply personal episode, Justin shares his own recent experience of discovering how past trauma still lives in the body—even when we're not thinking about it.

After a major spinal surgery in 1997, Justin thought he'd moved on. But when new back issues required x-rays nearly 30 years later, he felt something unexpected surface: a saddened familiarity, an inward collapse. The past was still there, waiting.

This episode offers a real-time example of what self-regulation can look like during difficult moments—and an invitation to extend more compassion toward yourself and the feelings that surface, even when they're unexpected.

Key takeaways:

1. Why "I don't think about it" doesn't mean it's resolved
2. How to permit your feelings while staying anchored in safety
3. The value of building your Safety Baseline before the unexpected arrives
4. What it looks like to balance difficult emotions with safety in real time

A different kind of episode. A different kind of connection.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

A balloon floated down from the hotel ceiling. My son said, "Hit it back."

I was sitting on a bench, quietly processing—reflecting on a loud, joyful Italian family reunion the night before, thinking about my upbringing, the conversations with my brothers, how my wife and I are raising our own kids. I wanted to stay in that quiet space.

But then a wave of irritation hit me. And in that fraction of a second before the balloon touched my head, a thought arrived:

This moment may never happen again.

In this episode, I share a simple story from a family trip to San Jose—and what it taught me about:

1. Recognizing when we shift out of safety and into fight or flight
2. The quiet power of playfulness as a pathway back to connection
3. Why seizing small moments matters more than we think

This isn't about grand gestures or life-changing epiphanies. It's about a balloon, a 10-year-old boy, and the choice to hit it back.

Consider this as me hitting a balloon to you. 🎈

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

When your spouse is dysregulated, shut down, or lashing out in anger—what's really happening? And more importantly, what can YOU do about it?

In this episode, I break down:

✓ The biological difference between being technically safe and *feeling* safe

✓ Why your partner may not identify you as a safety cue (even if you're trying)

✓ The "Polyvagal Ladder"—how shutdown → anger → safety actually works

✓ Why fight activation coming out of shutdown is actually a GOOD sign

✓ The painful relationship cycle (and how to break it)

✓ 4 practical tips to shift relationship dynamics

KEY TAKEAWAY: If you want your relationship to change, it falls on YOU to show up differently. You can't control your partner's nervous system, but you can regulate yours—and that's powerful.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Introduction: Understanding Dysregulation in Relationships

0:32 - Listener's Question: Navigating Marital Challenges

2:01 - The Concept of Safety in Relationships

7:31 - The Role of Fight Activation and Safety

11:03 - Breaking the Cycle: Self-Regulation and Boundaries

20:12 - Practical Tips for Changing Relationship Dynamics

26:45 - Conclusion: The Journey to Self-Regulation

👉 Resources from this episode:

"Self-Regulate to Co-regulate" episode - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1ZflmdCZyE

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Two years ago, I said AI couldn't replace therapists. I was wrong—about the technology, anyway. In late 2025, AI can now see you, hear your voice, and remember everything you say. But just because it can doesn't mean it should. In this episode, I'm exploring what's actually possible, who AI might actually help, and the uncomfortable questions we're not asking yet. This one might upset you. Good.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Have you ever wished for a daily guide on your nervous system regulation journey? One that offers structure without being overwhelming, and personalized support without the need for intensive coaching?

In this special announcement episode, Justin introduces a project he's been working on for months: the Self-Regulation Coach. Discover the "middle path" to getting unstuck—a tool designed for those who thrive with daily structure, gentle nudges, and expert guidance right in their pocket.

Learn how this AI-powered app creates a personalized, step-by-step roadmap tailored to your nervous system. With bite-sized daily lessons, exclusive micro-mindfulness practices, and instant, compassionate feedback from your AI coach, you can build sustainable change at your own pace.

If you're ready to move from feeling stuck to building a life of calm, confidence, and connection, this episode is your starting point.

Start your personalized journey with the Self-Regulation Coach today: studio.com/justin/self-regulation-coach

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Is nervous system regulation a natural skill or a conscious effort? In this episode, we delve into the skill of pendulation—the mindful shift between safety and defense—and explore why it appears effortless for some but feels impossible for others.

Discover the "carnival game" analogy for understanding your nervous system's capacity, learn how natural pendulation occurs in processes like grieving, and understand where you might fall on the spectrum of "stuckness." Justin breaks down how anyone, from those just "getting by" to those feeling deeply stuck, can learn to practice pendulation and transform it from a deliberate exercise into an automatic, embodied skill for living with more calm, confidence, and connection.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Have you ever left a therapy session feeling completely wiped out, as if you've run a marathon you didn't train for? It's a common experience, but it isn't the goal of effective therapy. That feeling of depletion is a critical signal from your body that you've been pushed beyond your nervous system's capacity.

In this episode, we explore a body-centric, Polyvagal-informed approach to therapy that builds resilience instead of burning you out. You'll learn how to work with your therapist to anchor in your safety state, mindfully "tiptoe" to the edge of discomfort, and safely return—a process that empowers you and grows your capacity over time. This is about building internal resources, not just surviving the session.

If you're ready to change your expectation of therapy from draining to empowering, this episode is for you.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Justin Sunseri challenges the widely accepted (and often ineffective) ways we understand and manage our emotions. He makes a bold claim: the common wisdom you've been taught about your feelings is likely wrong. Drawing from client conversations and his expertise as a therapist and coach, Justin reveals the two core problems with traditional emotional management and the five common avoidance tactics we all use.

Get ready to discover a "weird but effective" body-based approach that offers a sustainable path to emotional regulation, moving beyond just changing thoughts or behaviors. Learn practical steps to connect with your body's safety state and begin transforming your emotional experience today.

Key Takeaways:

• Most conventional approaches to understanding and managing emotions are flawed.
• Identify the five common ways you might be avoiding your emotions (resisting, ignoring, behavioral adaptations, intellectualizing, seeking external validation).
• Understand why changing thoughts or behaviors alone provides only temporary relief.
• Learn that emotions are primarily bodily experiences, not just mental states.
• Discover how to change your emotional state by intentionally connecting with your body.
• Get two actionable steps to start building your body's safety state right now.

🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you

😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0

✅ Crisis resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
3. LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
4. National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
5. Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
6. Call 911 for emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)