THIS EPISODE HAS SOME TECHNICAL SOUND ISSUE THAT WE TRIED OUR BEST TO FIX. It will be resolved next week. As always, we appreciate yall for listening.

Ever wondered why some of us chase people who keep us at arm’s length? We open with a candid story about dating inside a friend group and feeling invisible in public, then follow the thread back to childhood—where love felt conditional, criticism stung, and affection rarely landed. When your nervous system grows up on sharp edges, softness can feel like a trick. That’s how mean partners seem familiar, and elusive partners seem valuable. But scarcity isn’t a love language.

We map the difference between mysterious and elusive: mystery has depth and patience; elusiveness is avoidance dressed up as allure. Breadcrumbing keeps you hungry and quiet—ask for clarity and the crumbs stop. That dynamic builds anxious attachment, inflates ego wars, and punishes vulnerability. One of us admits the hard truth: sometimes the pursuit is about entitlement and shaky self-worth. Rejection can collapse identity, so “winning” a reluctant partner feels like proof of worth. It’s not. It’s a loop.

Along the way, we check in on fatherhood, career momentum, and a community gala that channels donations to students. A detour on car notes and predatory interest reveals the same lesson we apply to dating: stop glorifying the hard path. You don’t earn value by suffering. Healthy relationships look different—reciprocal effort, emotional accessibility, consistent care. We talk ego ties versus soul ties, the courage to share your inner life, and how to build intimacy reps so connection becomes natural instead of threatening.

If you’re tired of hot-and-cold love, listen for the signs of breadcrumbing, the roots of attraction to “hard love,” and the habits that help you choose calm over chaos. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with a friend who needs a nudge toward steady, healthy love. Then tell us: what’s one boundary you’re ready to keep?

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We trade the usual “have fun while you’re young” script for a sharper take on a man’s prime: use it to build skills, character, and a future you can love. From legwork over shortcuts to builders vs vibers, we press for purpose, influence, and timing.

• defining two primes and why the second one matters more
• setting boundaries and saying no when the plate is full
• doing the legwork, avoiding shortcuts, earning skills
• building influence through conduct, not clout
• choosing legacy over toys and trends
• dating with clarity: don’t stay out too late
• the “are we building or vibing” question
• nuanced takes on age gaps, readiness, and values
• boy moms: be the parent, set direction

Patreon time. This is what I was really waiting for. Oh god!

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We unpack why delaying decisions quietly drains time, money, and peace, and how clarity, courage, and iteration change everything. From leaving relationships cleanly to shipping MVPs, we share hard lessons, funny stories, and practical frameworks you can use today.

• the cost of letting life choose for you
• relationship standards, non‑negotiables, and capacity
• how to leave without becoming the villain
• stoicism, counsel, and legal strategy under heat
• career pivots, promotions, school, and time as a resource
• MVP mindset, AI coding tools, and iteration
• hire slow, fire fast, and accountability in teams
• designing environment for focus and momentum
• what men value: peace, respect, and real help
• teaching boys to decide early and own outcomes

Roses Are Dead Patreon: $8 gets you 300 episodes and the full conversation, plus the questions we couldn’t fit here

Rose Gold Gala: March 29, Lakeview, Chicago — donation‑based entry supporting The Village; “all of your ticket goes towards helping support the village and support these young men”

JetQuest Offer: “Use promo code ‘roses are dead’ for $200 off”

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IG: @terryroseland & @amansperspective_

Join our Patreon Community

Buy some merch and ebooks

IG: @terryroseland & @amansperspective_

We trace a messy dating triangle to a clean rule: compare partners to your needs, not to each other, then drill into how to vet for upbringing, conflict style, integrity and boundaries. Along the way we reflect on safety, systems that stick and why “no” reveals the truth.

• knowing yourself before you date: boundaries, negotiables, beliefs
• upbringing patterns and how family roles shape expectations
• conflict green flags and red flags that actually matter
• consistency and integrity when no one is watching
• time respect, clear communication and the power of no
• accountability over blame in past stories
• building systems that compound wins across a year
• speaking up for safety even when it kills the vibe
• advice for boy moms on guiding better choices

Decide, plan, sacrifice, shoot or shoot

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We press the case for saying “fuck the streets,” separate people from a destructive code, and lay out real alternatives that change outcomes. We close the year with a blueprint for men under 25: identity, solitude, money systems, and leadership that starts with tough conversations.

• “Fuck the streets” means rejecting a harmful mentality, not abandoning people
• Survivorship bias in rap and street culture challenged
• Who gets to decide what helps the community questioned
• Information gap versus intelligence in youth explained
• Trade schools, Pell Grants, and$80K outcomes highlighted
• Streaming’s appeal and limits for young creators noted
• Year-end reflections on intentionality over rote consistency
• Faith, setbacks, and grace reframed as normal growth
• Live alone first to build boundaries and peace
• Discipline via routines, early mornings, and self-trust
• Hard conversations as core leadership skill
• Money system with separate accounts and HYSA outlined
• Sales and communication as high-value, portable skills
• Keep one passion unmonetized to protect joy
• Mental health through therapy, journaling, and brotherhood
• Lead conflict repair by crossing the gun line
• Proactive child support to regain control and plan
• Stay single under 25 to lock in goals

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IG: @terryroseland & @amansperspective_

We pull apart self-sabotage with honesty: why we protect ourselves from pain by shrinking our lives, and how discipline, vulnerability, and positive self-talk rebuild momentum. We cover coasting, perfectionism, money myths, cultural tone, and the moving goalpost that demands smarter habits.

• early lessons that prime self-sabotage
• procrastination, coasting and perfectionism as hidden traps
• nervous system patterns that mistake chaos for love
• vulnerability in career pivots and late starts
• inflation, compounding and why breaks are costly
• practical money frames and slow path to millionaire status
• culture, accents and protecting Blackness without erasing self
• audience-building by shipping imperfect work
• positive self-talk as a daily performance tool
• advice for boy moms on speaking life

Subscribe on YouTube, leave a comment and rating, and join us at Rose Gold—pay what you want. “If you pay a thousand dollars, what do you get? Get to help some goddamn kids, man.”

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IG: @terryroseland & @amansperspective_

We trade nostalgia for hard questions, moving from house-party anthems to a candid look at ambition, moral compasses, and why respect for the work outlasts hype. Then we unpack the Diddy doc, boxing ethics between friends, IP lessons from a stolen idea, and why teens should learn to hustle, not clock in.

• soft life vs adulting and shared responsibility
• why intention beats talent and C’s stall growth
• pride in work as a portable reputation
• diddy documentary bias, complicity, and accountability
• consent, moral compass, and culture’s blind spots
• boxing ethics and why friends should never fight
• boundaries, “trains,” and real-world risks
• $8 plug and supporting independent creators
• IP protection, NDAs, and internships’ fine print
• high school entrepreneurship over hourly jobs
• product vs service thinking for teen hustles

300 episodes of Roses I Did Patreon for $8. It’s up to you

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IG: @terryroseland & @amansperspective_