In this raw and unfiltered episode, Steve embraces the 'madness' of authenticity, shedding professional polish to show up unmasked. He reflects on presence, consciousness, and love, sharing his journey of undoing performance and embracing reality—messy, real, and true.

In this intimate exploration, Steve challenges traditional meditation approaches with a radical invitation: stop trying so hard. Drawing from his own journey through trauma and spiritual seeking, he shares how true meditation isn't about achieving special states but recognizing the awareness we already are.

In "The Cycle of Evasion and Pursuit," Steve explores the exhausting pattern of running from discomfort while chasing what we think will make us happy. Drawing from personal experiences with trauma and neurodivergence, he reveals how recognizing ourselves as awareness itself - rather than constantly seeking escape or relief - can transform our relationship with difficult experiences and break this cycle naturally.

Find this episode, notes, and transcript on my website.

In this debut episode of ∞actualinfinity, host Steve Mattus introduces a new kind of conversation about presence, awareness, and being lovingly conscious. Moving beyond traditional self-help and spiritual bypassing, this podcast explores what it means to knowingly be awareness while navigating the full spectrum of human experience. Steve shares his perspective as an autistic, gay, twice-exceptional man and sets the foundation for deep explorations of consciousness, neurodivergence, relationships, sexuality, trauma, business and everything that makes up our lived experience. This isn't about fixing or changing anything - it's an invitation to discover what's already here.

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more love, not less - all-ways.💜™