Content Note: This episode mentions self-harm and suicidal ideation.

In this week's episode, I am falling in love and terrified of saying it out loud. I'm so terrified, I start inflicting physical and spiritual harm to myself and others. There's some tough stuff in this one but it was kindof cool to read back on how in love I truly was.

There are so many elements of this journal that remind me of previous journals - it's a new year and a new guy, but I am still a classic avoidant!

There is a certain violence in this episode that surprised me. Not only amoungst my friend group, but also within myself. I turn 18, tell my boyfriend I love him, and start planning for prom & graduation.

I apparantly feel like I can really relate to Jewel and The O.C. lolololol This episode is packed with details of an 18-year-old who is trying her absolute best and the boy(s) who loves her.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

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Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

Part way through this episode, I decide to split this journal into two episodes because just SO much is happening! It's winter 2005 and I am coked out of my mind. I go on a bender in Quebec City and am slowly falling madly in love with my very kind, albeit slightly troubled boyfriend. There's a love triangle. There's a party bus. There's a formal dance. There's sex and drugs and big time rock and roll... and there the hell are my parents?!?!

I also spend some time reminiscing about my friend Mark who died in late 2018. It felt good to talk about his memory, but also leveled me a bit more than I was expecting it to. <3 If you're thinking about someone you've lost, I just want to send you a little extra love.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

CONTENT WARNING: This episode mentions suicide. Please take gentle care when listening.

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support

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On October 1st, 2005, I got a phone call that would change my life forever. It all started the night my sister and I decided to throw a house party that got way out of control. It ended with my friend in the hospital with a (self-inflicted) gunshot wound to the head.

This was not an easy episode to record or produce, but I'm still here and ready to share pieces of this story with you. Thanks for listening and take good care.

For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com

To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwords.com - we'd love to have you!

Find my books here <3

------------

Kid's Help Phone: You can reach a professional counsellor at Kids Help Phone in English or French 24/7 by calling 1-800-668-6868

9-8-8: Call or text from anywhere in Canada or the U.S., anytime

CMHA: Call Reach Out at 1-866-933-2023 to receive mental health and/or addictions support