Dating someone with covert narcissistic traits rarely feels abusive at first. In fact, it often feels intoxicating—intense attention, deep emotional connection, and a sense of being chosen in a way you may never have experienced before. This episode explores why that intensity feels so powerful—and why it so often turns confusing, controlling, and unsafe.

In this deeply honest conversation, Jacquie Roar shares her personal story of navigating covert narcissism in a dating relationship. She talks openly about love bombing, emotional manipulation, isolation, and how her sense of self slowly eroded long before she had words for what was happening. Like many survivors, she believed the problem was something she could fix—if only she tried harder, loved better, or showed more understanding.

Together, we explore how covert narcissistic abuse impacts the nervous system, why leaving can feel harder than staying, and why the aftermath often includes depression, grief, and intense self-doubt rather than immediate relief. Jacquie also speaks about the moment that changed everything—when survival became more important than hope—and how healing required learning to accept healthy love after chaos.

This episode is for anyone who has ever questioned themselves after a relationship ended and wondered:

• Why did it feel so good at first?

• Why did I get smaller over time?

• Why did peace feel unfamiliar after I left?

You are not weak. You were responding to a dynamic designed to confuse, bond, and control. This conversation offers clarity, validation, and hope—without pressure, judgment, or diagnosis.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
02:56 Jacquie's Background and Music Career
04:39 Understanding Narcissism and Red Flags
10:07 Recognizing Emotional Abuse
17:22 Self-Care and Healing Journey
25:31 Finding Her Voice Through Music
29:16 The Turning Point and Empowerment
32:44 Final Thoughts and Messages for the Audience

DISCLAIMER:
THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

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This episode explores how to tell the difference between normal marriage struggles and covert narcissistic dynamics. We focus on the subtle patterns that create confusion, self-doubt, and the fear that you might be overreacting or expecting too much.

Many people living inside covert narcissistic dynamics aren’t dealing with constant conflict or obvious cruelty. Instead, they’re navigating moments that almost feel normal—disagreements that never resolve, conversations that leave them questioning their memory, and attempts at grace that are never returned. Over time, that confusion becomes exhausting.

In this episode, we walk through real-life examples of healthy conflict versus covert control, paying close attention to what happens when you offer softness, uncertainty, or benefit of the doubt. We talk about why mutual grace is a defining feature of healthy relationships—and what it means when that grace only flows in one direction.

This conversation isn’t about labeling your partner or diagnosing a relationship. It’s about giving you language for what you feel, helping you notice patterns without self-blame, and restoring trust in your own internal signals. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this just marriage—or is something else happening here?” this episode is designed to help you find clarity without pressure.

00:00 Introduction to Covert Narcissism
02:13 Understanding Healthy Relationship Dynamics
06:09 The Impact of One-Sided Grace
10:02 The Illusion of Flexibility in Covert Dynamics
13:47 Observing Relationship Patterns
17:05 Next Steps in Understanding Your Relationships

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you understand covert narcissism intellectually—but still find yourself questioning your memory, your reactions, or your decisions—you’re not alone.

In this episode, you’ll hear the very first Covert Narcissism Community Chat: a small, guided conversation with participants who are just like you. These are not clinicians or experts. They are listeners who have consumed the information, done the research, and are living—at different stages—inside the aftermath of covert narcissistic abuse. For privacy and safety, real names are not used.

Together, we explore why self-doubt can persist even after awareness: • Why clarity doesn’t always stick
• How gaslighting and reality distortion become internalized
• Why you can “know” something and still question yourself
• How self-doubt shows up whether you’re still in it, newly out, or years down the road

This conversation isn’t about fixing or diagnosing. It’s about naming what so many survivors carry quietly—and hearing, in real time, that you’re not alone.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I still question myself—even now?”
This episode is for you.

Interested in participating in a future Community Chat?
These small, guided conversations continue and focus on specific experiences survivors often carry alone. Information about upcoming topics—including The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Who Tries—can be found at https://www.covertnarcissism.com/community-chats

00:00 Introduction and Setup
04:56 Purpose of the Community Chat
08:01 Understanding Self-Doubt After Narcissistic Abuse
09:36 Personal Experiences with Self-Doubt
18:13 Navigating Relationships Post-Abuse
25:11 The Impact of Self-Doubt on Decision Making
34:16 Surprises on the Healing Journey

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.