Todays talk with my friend Lindsay hit so close to home, in many ways. I first connected with Lindsay because our kids were diagnosed with the same cancer, rhabdo. It felt really good to talk to another parent who knew all the same things I knew - like meeting someone in a foreign country who spoke the same language AND also knew all the same people. She was comfortable, familiar and we instantly connected.

So it was a matter of minutes before Lindsay told me that ON THE SAME DAY she found her son’s cancer, 32 years prior when she was 7 yrs old, SHE was diagnosed with Wilms. Lindsay was now a child cancer survivor AND a cancer mom - I don’t need to highlight what a unique and complicated journey it’s been for Lindsay, but also a journey where her insights are already baked in, giving her a vantage point that not many of us have.

I had a million questions for Lindsay about what it’s like ushering your child through a treatment you yourself had, and this is where our chat got even deeper, because hearing Lindsay share her memories of treatment, especially integrating back into her life post treatment, felt like I was listening to my own daughter share her exact same experience. Lindsay talked about the shame of having cancer and what it felt like to be different from her peers, and how she went to extreme lengths to hide her scars and bald head - and it was all just the same for us.

Hearing Lindsay share her stories of shame and wanting to hide her cancer went straight to my core because not only was I witnessing this exact same struggle with my child, but I knew there had to be other parents out there feeling the same helplessness watching their child desperately try to blend in post treatment. This prompted our episode today where Lindsay goes deep into her feelings of being different, of looking sick and getting sad pitiful eyes from strangers, and how complicated it was to feel embarrassed about her cancer when everyone was telling her it was something to be proud of.

This talk will resonate so deeply with parents whose kids were a little older during treatment or maybe more self aware and who struggle with the whole idea that children with cancer are celebrated as being brave and warriors when really, they want to blend in and not be recognized at all - until, as you’ll hear Lindsay say, she came through her teen years and realized that she was, in fact, tremendously brave and she decided to truly embrace her cancer. But that had to be on her terms, in her own way, and not because everyone told her so.

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My conversation today with Matt got so deep, so fast, and I think it’s because he’s worked really hard at clearing the path towards the place he holds his pain and grief around losing his son Landon. When Landon was 10.5 years old he passed away from medulloblastoma, leaving Matt with a choice to follow his grief in a bad, destructive direction, or in a powerful and healing direction.

A friend challenged him to run for 21 days to start a habit and hopefully give Matt an outlet for his grief, and so he started to run. And run, and run, and run for miles and miles. At first around his neighborhood, and then through the trails near his home. The more he would run, the more pain his body would endure, the closer he would get to feeling his grief - and to feeling his son. Running became his catharsis, and his direct path to connecting with Landon.

He pulled from all the mental endurance he learned during treatment and applied it to long distance running, and then ultra running - and then to running 140 miles to raise money and awareness for childhood cancer.

Matt documented his run and made it into a film called No Finish Line because, this isn’t a spoiler, at the end of Matt’s 140 mile run, he DNF’s which stands for Did Not Finish - because as Matt knows, and as we all know, childhood cancer doesn’t end. It’s a loud message to everyone watching that kids in treatment are up against a heck of a lot more than the physical and mental strain of running 140 miles, and his message lands.

This conversation today is really bold, really honest and has so many meaningful takeaways on processing pain, choosing the ultimate good vs the ultimate bad, our dragons, our grief, and what it’s like to live - truly live - when the biggest fear in your life happens. How does that change the trajectory of your path, how do you run it, and most importantly, how far can you go when you aren’t running from the pain, but running purposefully, and with great intention, towards it.

So, let’s dive deep, with Matt.

No Finish Line can be watched here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL6irMXCIM8

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Today I talk with five incredible oncology moms who met during their kids treatments and felt the need to create a collective for cancer moms to come together, feel seen, supported and less alone. Katelyn, Sarah, Amanda, Nicole and Lindsay discuss the importance of having a support system of other oncology moms, the emotional challenges they face, and how they found strength in their shared experiences.

Our discussion highlights the birth of the Golden Moms community, the significance of connecting with others who understand our journey, and the role of social media in fostering these relationships. Each mom shares their personal story, emphasizing the importance of community, shared experiences, and the need for emotional support. They discuss the discomfort that often arises in friendships during crises, the healing power of connecting with others who understand, and the necessity of caring for caregivers as well.

To find the Golden Moms, visit their instagram @goldenmoms05, and the Ottawa Golden Moms group @goldenmomsottawa

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In this conversation, Sam and mindset coach/oncology mom Kayleigh Kennedy explore the emotional landscape for parents post treatment and the profound impact of trauma on our mental and physical health. Kayleigh shares her personal experiences and insights on mending the broken heart her son's cancer treatment left her with, and the ongoing process of healing, highlighting the significance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. One of the ways Kayleigh has approached her healing is through somatic therapy and integrated somatic trauma processing (ISTP).

She discusses the healing power of breath work, the importance of releasing suppressed emotions, and the journey of letting go of control. The conversation highlights the physical and emotional challenges faced during therapy sessions, including intense releases of energy and emotions. Kayleigh emphasizes the significance of trusting oneself and exploring personal healing needs, while also acknowledging the discomfort that comes with the healing process.

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My talk with Lily has really stuck with me. This is a mom who simply refused to let cancer define her family’s life. There was no way cancer was going to interrupt their normal, and there was no way it was going to interfere with her son’s growth and learning and development. Lily was determined to maintain Wyatt’s full and active life, and not only maintain, but better it. Cancer wasn’t something that would stop him, it was something that would make him stronger.

When Wyatt was 5.5 yrs old, he was diagnosed with T cell ALL, and like all parents, Lily was floored when she was told the news over the phone after some routine blood work, But you’ll hear her say Wyatt’s diagnosis completely shifted her perspective and made her even more optimistic and less concerned and worried about the things in life that don’t matter. I’ve had a lot of talks with parents who come to those realizations, maybe after treatment, but for Lily, it was right off the bat, and she harnessed this optimism and perspective into making Wyatt’s cancer treatment an opportunity for growth and something that wasn't going to define him.

One of the areas of our chat that will stick with me forever is when we talk about how Lily made treatment so positive for Wyatt that he legitimately mourned when it was over. This makes so much sense when you hear Lily’s story, but I mean, we can all agree it’s not the most common reaction coming from a little kid who’s just gone through 3 years of gruelling cancer treatment. But port removal and final lumbar punctures were devastating for Wyatt, and we go into how Lily is managing these really honest and deep emotions. We also talk about her other son Jack and how in many ways Wyatt’s cancer treatment was hardest on him. So much insight and deep conversations in this episode.

I love Lily, she is incredible and so is this chat. I know it will stick with you too. So, let’s dive deep with Lily.

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Sam Albert, a recreational therapist at Roger Nielson Children's Hospice, shares her experience supporting families and siblings through treatment and end of life care. Sam shares personal stories of growing up with a brother who had cancer, the impact of grief, and the importance of validating the sibling's experience. The conversation also emphasizes the significance of peer support among siblings and the creative ways they express their emotions.

Sam explores the profound experiences of supporting families in palliative care, emphasizing the importance of creating lasting memories, the privilege of holding space for families during their hardest moments, and the unique emotional journey caregivers undergo. The discussion highlights the beauty found in love amidst grief, the impact of personal experiences on caregiving, and also touches on the examination of belief systems and the diverse needs of families after the loss of a child.

https://www.rogerneilsonchildrenshospice.ca/

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In this chat, Scott Walker shares his family's journey through his teenage daughter's cancer diagnosis of rhabdomyosarcoma and treatment. He discusses the shock of receiving the diagnosis, the protective 'armor' parents wear, and the importance of finding moments of release. Scott emphasizes the significance of approaching treatment in phases, coping with the hair loss phase, and the vital role of team sports and community support in their journey. Scott shares the profound impact of team dynamics and community support during his daughter Peyton's cancer treatment. He emphasizes the importance of mutual support within teams, the significance of billeting, and the courage required to let go as a parent. The discussion highlights the role of community in fostering resilience and the emotional journey of navigating treatment while maintaining a sense of normalcy for Peyton. The conversation emphasizes teamwork, resilience, and the power of community in navigating difficult times.

March 31- April 4th is Adolescent and Young Adult Cancer Awareness Week. Here are some links to learn more:

https://www.childrenscancercause.org/ayaweek

https://acpmp.org/aya-cancer-awareness-week/

https://www.uhn.ca/PrincessMargaret/Clinics/Adolescent_Young_Adult_Oncology

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