Épisodes

  • DWTS Finale Reactions, Stranger Things Season 4, Toddler Thanksgiving Chaos and Week 13 NFL Drama
    Dec 4 2025

    This week on The Family Timeout Podcast, Gardner and Michelle dive into everything from the Dancing With the Stars finale to a full Stranger Things Season 4 rewatch, complete with bold predictions and plenty of disagreement.


    We break down our chaotic Thanksgiving with a toddler, including the cranberry sauce incident, sleep disasters, and the freezing hunt for the perfect Christmas tree. There’s also a full recap of Week 13 of the NFL, including the Ravens meltdown, wild league officiating, and why Gardner is ready to fire every kicker in America.


    Plus:


    • SlumberPod complaints from two exhausted parents

    • Survivor boredom

    • A runaway reindeer

    • Fantasy football wins and losses

    • A mini on-air court session

    • Disney World prep

    • And why Michelle is claiming “birthday month immunity”

    If you love sports, pop culture, parenting honesty, and married-couple chaos, this episode is for you.


    Follow us:

    Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube: @thefamilytimeoutpodcast

    New episodes every week except when we’re in Disney World eating Dole Whip.

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    41 min
  • Thanksgiving Special: New iPhones, Strange Pop Culture Takes, NFL Meltdowns & Toddler Gobbles
    Nov 26 2025

    Welcome to the Thanksgiving Special of The Family Timeout Podcast — where pop culture meets football and parenting.


    This week, Michelle and Gardner are coming to you fresh off an upgrade from their ancient iPhone 11s and feeling way too powerful with the iPhone 17 Pro Max. Clear photos? Fast searches? A whole new world.


    • 🎥 Pop Culture:

    – Rewatching Stranger Things to prep for the new season

    – Why this season of Survivor just isn’t giving

    – Dancing With the Stars drama (and why Whitney’s elimination has the internet split)

    – Hair By Chrissy scandal: $4,000 for 90 seconds of actual hair time?!


    • 👶 Parenting:

    – Baby molars are coming in and the house

    – Future Cult Leader?

    – Why she is beefing with every man she meets


    • 🏈 NFL Week 12:

    – Ravens weird energy

    – Are the Patriots fans too sensitive? (Hate comments say yes)

    – Drake May overhype

    – Bills meltdown

    – Eagles drama

    – Full matchup predictions for Week 13

    – And Michelle’s official “Court Is In Session” verdict on Lamar Jackson’s giggling

    – This week’s Smooch of Approval (Jahmyr Gibbs vs. Jameis Winston)


    • 🍗 Thanksgiving Edition Fun:

    – Which Thanksgiving sides are START / BENCH / CUT

    – Who on the Ravens had the most unhinged food takes

    – Why stuffing reigns supreme



    If you love NFL talk, pop culture chaos, parenting realness, and fun holiday energy, this Thanksgiving episode is for you.


    Thank you for listening and supporting our show!

    Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube: @thefamilytimeoutpodcast


    Happy Thanksgiving! gobble gobble!

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    37 min
  • Running Man Rage, Stolen Driveways, Ariana’s Red Carpet Chaos, and NFL Week 11 Breakdown
    Nov 20 2025

    This episode of The Family Timeout Podcast dives into the wildest moments in pop culture, sports, and parenting this week. Michelle and Gardner break down Kim Kardashian revealing she failed the bar exam, Ariana Grande’s security scare at the Wicked Two premiere, Sabrina Carpenter’s new Alice in Wonderland musical, and why the Running Man movie nearly started a war in their house. They also cover the viral wolf pulling up crab traps in British Columbia, the now-infamous stolen driveway saga, and their own parenting takeaways involving NFL Week 11 scheduling chaos, toddler Minnie Mouse obsession, and first daddy-daughter dates. Plus an in-depth Ravens recap, Shado Sanders controversy, and full predictions for Week 12. Listen for hot takes, arguments, real parenting moments, and everything in between.

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    46 min
  • Under the Full Beaver Moon: Kim K’s Courtroom Fits, Fake Wolf Packs, and NFL Recap
    Nov 13 2025

    Recording under the Full Beaver Moon, this episode dives into the most entertaining moments from the past week. Michelle breaks down Kim Kardashian’s courtroom outfits from her new show, the Golden Bachelor memoir controversies, and the disappointing truth that the viral Chihuahua leading a wolf pack was created with AI.


    We also discuss Survivor’s overly dramatic snakebite storyline and Jeff Probst turning a simple medical check into a theatrical production. Gardner moves into the NFL Week 11 recap with the matchups that surprised us, the teams that are struggling, his weekly Smooch of Approval, and the players who might be in trouble.


    Parenting updates include singing the ABCs on repeat, kids’ books that make little sense, and the Goodnight Moon themed hotel room that looks like a fever dream.


    If you enjoy pop culture commentary, NFL analysis, reality television moments, and relatable parenting stories, this episode is for you.

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    40 min
  • NFL Trade Deadline Recap, Fall TV Picks, and First Trick-or-Treating | Family Timeout Ep10
    Nov 6 2025

    NFL Trade Deadline Recap, Fall TV Picks, and First Trick-or-Treating | Family Timeout Ep10


    This week on Family Timeout, we’re all in on fall — football rants, new TV finds, and first-time toddler Halloween Trick or Treating.


    NFL Trade Deadline Recap:

    • The Colts give up two 1st-round picks for a corner, why they’re fooling themselves into thinking hype equals wins

    • Gardner’s Week 9 picks (and a humbling look back at last week’s misses)


    TV Show Roundup:

    • New shows and trailers we’re checking out this week

    • What’s a hit, what’s a skip, and what might become the new fall favorite


    Parenting Wins:

    • Our daughter’s first-ever trick-or-treating as a bumblebee

    • A science museum pumpkin smash event that absolutely made her week

    • Gardner’s plan to redeem his failed garden by turning his last 3 peppers into Gardner Sauce — and pitching it to Sauce Gardner


    Perfect for millennial parents who love fall TV, football takes, and tiny humans in costumes.

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    38 min
  • Halloween Throwback: Beetlejuice 2, 80s Costumes, and Parenting Wins | Family Timeout Halloween Episode #009
    Oct 30 2025

    If you grew up in the 80s or 90s and now find yourself parenting while trying to keep up with pop culture and football - this one’s for you.


    In this Halloween Throwback Episode, Gardner (rocking full 80s nerd energy) and Michelle (the queen of high ponies and mean-girl vibes) dive into the week’s chaos:

    Beetlejuice 2 — surprisingly funny and actually better than the original?

    The Running Man and why Glen Powell might be the perfect modern anti-hero

    NFL Week 8 — Gardner nails his predictions (almost), Michelle calls out Zay Flowers

    Parenting wins — toddler singing ABCs, fall photos gone sideways, and Halloween costume exposure therapy


    It’s nostalgic, ridiculous, and totally relatable for anyone trying to balance kids, work, and the few sacred minutes of “me time” left in a day.


    Follow The Family Timeout Podcast for weekly millennial therapy disguised as sports, pop culture, and parenting talk.

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    35 min
  • HalloweenTown Is Trash, Love Is Blind recap, and Bedtime Betrayal | Family Timeout 008
    Oct 27 2025

    This week, Gardner finally says what everyone’s afraid to admit: Halloween Town might actually be trash. Michelle disagrees. Strongly.


    We also get into the latest Love Is Blind meltdowns, the return of Buffy and Hocus Pocus on Michelle’s Halloween watchlist, and whether Agatha is living up to WandaVision.


    On the parenting front, our toddler has decided that only Mom is allowed to read bedtime stories. Gardner is feeling replaced and definitely not being dramatic about it.


    Meanwhile, Michelle’s fantasy football team continues to dominate despite a roster full of injuries. Gardner manages a Smooch of Approval but is mostly just trying to recover.


    Real talk on pop culture, parenting, and the petty fights that keep marriage interesting.

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    40 min
  • Orlando’s Back on the Market, Love Is Blind Drama & NFL Chaos | Family Timeout #007
    Oct 16 2025

    Michelle’s middle school crush dreams may finally come true — Katy Perry is reportedly dating Justin Trudeau, which means Orlando Bloom is back on the market. Naturally, she’s ready to shoot her shot.

    We also dive into:

    Love Is Blind and why we can’t look away

    – A Chiefs player getting punched post-game

    – Halloween decorating with our toddler (and how that’s going)

    – Gardner’s NFL Week 6 picks (only five wrong last week)

    It’s marriage banter, reality TV takes, parenting updates, and football chaos just another week in the timeout.

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    45 min