In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, hosts Courtney and Travis engage in a deep conversation with Isaac Etter, a transracial adoptee and social entrepreneur. They explore the complexities of adoption, particularly transracial adoption, and the grief that often accompanies it. Isaac shares his personal journey, highlighting the importance of open conversations about race and identity within adoptive families. The discussion also touches on cultural differences, code switching, and the concept of ghost kingdoms, emphasizing the need for unconditional love and understanding in the adoption process.

Takeaways

• Isaac was adopted at age two and faced challenges in understanding his identity.
• Adoption is complex and often involves grief and loss.
• Conversations about race should be normalized in transracial families.
• Grief in adoption can manifest during significant life transitions.
• Cultural differences play a crucial role in shaping identity for adoptees.
• Code switching is a common experience for transracial adoptees.
• Ghost kingdoms represent unexpressed curiosity about birth families.
• Unconditional love is essential for adopted youth.
• Adoptees often need compassion and grace as they navigate their identities.
• Open dialogues about race can help adoptees feel secure in their identities.

In this episode of the Foster Friendly podcast, host Brian Mavis and co-host Courtney engage with Pam Bauer, a mother of 14 adopted children, to discuss the complexities of adoption, grief, and parenting. Pam shares her insights on the challenges of raising a large family, the importance of addressing grief in adopted children, and the need for open conversations about their birth families. The discussion emphasizes the significance of understanding loss, building connections, and providing emotional support to adopted children as they navigate their unique journeys.

Takeaways

• Adopted children often experience grief related to their biological families.
• Grief can be an opportunity for attachment and healing.
• Open conversations about adoption are crucial for children's understanding.
• Children may feel divided loyalties between adoptive and biological parents.
• Rituals can help children process their grief and loss.
• Understanding emotions and body language is essential in parenting adopted children.
• Grief is a lifelong journey that evolves over time.
• Adoptive parents should encourage their children to express their feelings.
• Children need to know they are loved and valued regardless of their background.
• It's important to recognize the mixed emotions surrounding adoption.

Whether you’re considering becoming a foster parent or just want to better understand the adoption ecosystem, this conversation offers wisdom, hope, and practical insight from someone who’s lived it out for decades.

In this kickoff to National Adoption Month, host Brian Mavis sits down with his cohosts (and adoptive parents) Courtney and Travis to discuss the real-world challenges and beauty of adoption. Together they unpack common myths about adoption, share their own powerful stories—from fostering to international adoption—and explore the ethical and emotional complexities that come with saying “yes” to a child.

Key topics covered:

• Their family stories: international adoption, adoption through foster care, and breaking “birth order”
• The biggest myths about adoption—cost, home ownership, and who’s eligible
• Why “foster to adopt” isn’t the right mindset
• The ethical advantages of adoption through foster care
• The “marriage of adoption” and the lifelong commitment it represents
• What support (and lack thereof) adoptive families can expect
• The I Belong Project and how it’s helping connect waiting kids with forever families
• Practical, heartfelt advice for those considering adoption

Whether you’re just exploring adoption or already in the process, this episode offers honest insight, encouragement, and direction from those who’ve lived it.

Resources Mentioned

• America’s Kids Belong – www.americaskidsbelong.org

• Learn more about the I Belong Project and watch videos of kids waiting for adoption
• Explore “The Fostering Front Door” to learn about ways to get involved