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Buckets in!

More Mo Mowlam than Mo Farah, more Orville than Ovette, more Pauline Fowler's growler than Paula Radcliffe, and more Roger De Courcy and Nookie bear than Roger Bannister, this is the 13th episode of the Fourth Worst Podcast on Running, the sporting equivalent of the Joey Deacon Memorial Swim, and it is the Hannover special, a recap of what would be my 100th marathon on my return to the capital of Saxony, a great weekend during which John’s red count went interstellar, as did our beer count as we were joined by Kazoo-masters Keith and Kyla, and Leaky.

We also talk London 2025, the controversy of Russ Cook, running drunk, running hungover, and try our best to annoy a former professional sportsperson, and no Gary Lineker. We have a new game relating to AI generated dolls, as well as your favourites Guess Who, Name that Tune and Fact Hunt.

Enjoy. Or at least pretend to.

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In this episode we were joined by our favourite doctor since Harold Shipman, the wonderful Kath Walker, man bun baiter and expert on all things sports injury related. It is Jackanory time with the first reading of our children's book Stefan Goes to the Running Show, we keep our fingers crossed to see if we win anything at the Fourth Worst Podcast on Running Awards, hear from Colin Jackson, play Name That Tune - Kazoo Edition, bash runfluencers for being c#nts (as per), we take questions from the fans and showcase the shouty musical talents of the Meat Sweaters.

We also learned that Lew has Viking Hand Syndrome, no one thinks gait analysis at a sports clothing store is a good idea, nor are ice baths for sports recovery, and that Nike are pricks for their Pegasus marketing stunt.

You get classic Parkrun Tourism, a joke about Shamima Begum, Beethoven playing at John's first wedding, and Crazy Jimbo sleeping standing up, and there is a MASSIVE fact hunt. Truly cavernous. Cavernous. Cavernous. (That was an echo. See what I did there?)

Tune in, tune out, and enjoy. But don't take it too seriously. It's only a laugh.

Evening Bill, and thank you marshal.

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Somehow we are back from the darkest reaches of the north, smelling like knock-off jaeger and nan's old chair. We look back in anger at 2024, when Baz was guilty of partaking in the posh PE, John refused to wear period pants, Rach tripped over thin air, I left without saying goodbye and Lew had a very long wee.

We talk kissing men with OBEs (under the radar), the most drunk man at midnight mass, a potential dog Doris, googling thumb extensions and much much more including:

• Parkrun Tourism
• An overly lengthy recounting of Rachel's birthday party weekend
• Guess Who?
• Would You Rather?
• Bandit Clothing
• Abbott's milking the cash cow til it's udders run dry
• Carrot
• The Fourth Worst Running App
• and Fact Hunt

before finally saying fuck you 2024 and hellooooo to 2025 over a jug of something festive as we all sing Africa by Toto.

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To tide you over until John is out on day release here is the Fact Hunt compilation so far. More red cards than a 1970s Leeds game and more jokes than Miranda's whole career. Adele in, Wenger out for the Fact Hunt fun bus japes.

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Ho-Ho-Ho! And that is just John’s last three Dorises.

Welcome to this, our festive offering. Now you may be saying, but D-Dog it is still only mid November. Well, there have been mince pies and tins of celebrations on the shelves of Tescos for 2 months already, and the BBC have announced their tortuous line up including surprise-surprise, more Mrs Browns racist Boys, and Miranda is back to somehow have her skirt caught in a taxi door and then ripped off on the way to… I don’t know… keep it festive… a children's nativity play…how droll so we are roasting the Chestnut Massives on an open fire, and who can stop us.

We have a box (hill) full of crackers this week including, but no limited to:

A Barry bib bandit
Mr Motivator
Paul Chuckle
Mr Methane the worlds only performing flatulist
And Ste Southern is back to shout “snake oil” at insta ads

So cum on ye faithful, and welcome to the 10th episode of the Fourth Worst podcast on running.

Always remember to wipe thoroughly.

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We are back for episode 9, and are about to send a strongly worded email to England Athletics and the Beachy Head Marathon organisers (dictated but not read) before Lew goes against protocol and questions the Fact Hunt facts, marathons are back on the shelves and November Rain is declared a tune by Mr Kennedy.

We rattle the charity tin with Mike EU Marathons Harley and empty chair John for the way home from a debauched weekend racing.

Also, John Kennedy from the Posh Universe pops in for the drinking game, we coat a few of the bad uns in the community and Baz breathes in a worldie's flatulence.

Enjoy. If at all possible.

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The fun and games return with former international rugby referee Nigel Owens replacing Junglist musician General Levy (no one has ever said that before) for the drinking game, Lew loses his shit at the Casualty theme tune via Endel, a dubious world record at Chicago, and a sad end to the Camille Wikipedia story.

We give 5 star influencer shoe reviewers a good shoeing, we drown a few in their free ice baths, and the snake oil is thrown in the bin before being thrown in the sea along with Parkrun Tourism posters wondering if we are going to Slovenia and Austria or getting lost in Dulwich, and the Stay Toxic guy fucks up the intro.

John invites Felicity Kendall to a Spoons curry night bunk up, Baz's acorn sized bladder gets the better of him, Stefan goes bananas, Strava goes down, and Knees makes a red card choice of celebrities who ran the London Marathon. Now then, now then! And we have a live question from Keith and Kyla who grace our lug holes with Flight of the Valkyries played on the Kazoo.

Big up the Chestnut Massive! Gola on Bullseye!

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After f*cking a wide necked bottle filled with ravioli (scientifically the most f*ckable pasta) we feel guilty about not following our "don't be shit" mantra and start to build up the progressive junk miles for Beachy Head marathon and the Kent 50.

General Levy and Tefan Tromboni return, John burns the candle out of all three ends in Barcelona, a lazy dog gets carried down a mountain, a fat cat walks for likes, and we go on the Fyre Festival Sandwich Run. Lewis cleans up a poonami of kitten shit and does some squats whilst running the bath, Baz drops a dress size and Darren throws up at 36,000 feet above Africa in a plane toilet, ticking off a bucket list item and then asks arguably the worst Fact Hunt question ever.

A social media villain gets his button mushroom knob out, influencers do anything for a jar of pickled onions and a woman gives birth on Strava.

Just you average day here at the Fourth Worst Podcast on Running.