This week on Are You Sh!#ing Me?, Something I Learned While Avoiding Real Responsibilities,

Brett goes solo to unpack one of the weirdest, most unnecessary, and most delightfully chaotic moments in American holiday history: ,

The Great Cranberry Panic of 1959 — the year the government basically told everyone, “Happy Thanksgiving… maybe don’t eat anything red.”

Just two weeks before Thanksgiving, officials announced that some cranberries might be contaminated with a weed killer that could cause cancer in rats. The result?

Panic. Outrage. Angry telegrams. Politicians flexing by chugging cranberry juice on TV. And an entire country looking for emergency backup side dishes (spoiler: it wasn’t pretty).

President Eisenhower skipped the cranberry sauce. Grocery stores pulled cans off shelves. Life Magazine suggested pickled watermelon rind. AMERICA. LOST. ITS. MIND.

Buckle up, because I discovered something while procrastinating that sent me into a spiral.

Brett breaks down:

• Why the warning happened

• How bad the science actually was

• Why Nixon ate four servings on camera like a deranged berry martyr

• The letters the White House received (including Canadians demanding an apology)

• And how this panic shaped modern food safety laws

All that plus jokes, rants, and whatever Brett was supposed to be doing instead of researching 1950s cranberry drama.

Cheers!

Brett

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