If you’re struggling with chronic insomnia, it’s not because you haven’t tried hard enough.

It’s not because you’re broken.

And it’s not because you haven’t found the right sleep hygiene hack.

It’s because insomnia becomes conditioned over time—and this conditioning keeps your nervous system on high alert every night.

In this episode, I want to show you why that happens… and what to do about it.

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The Heart of Chronic Insomnia: Sleep Anxiety and Hyperarousal

At its core, long-term insomnia is a psychological and physiological loop.

You begin to feel anxious about sleep.

That anxiety activates your nervous system.

Your body enters a fight-or-flight state.

And that physical hyperarousal blocks your ability to fall and stay asleep.

This happens even when you’re exhausted.

You might feel wired at bedtime.

You might toss and turn while your mind spins.

You might even jerk awake just as you’re drifting off.

These are all signs that your nervous system is on high alert.

So how does this keep going?

There are 3 common patterns that fuel insomnia over time:

• Unhelpful perceptions
• Unhelpful reactions
• Unhelpful behaviors

Unhelpful Perceptions

This includes misunderstandings about sleep and insomnia.

You might think:

“There’s something wrong with me.”

“My body just doesn’t know how to sleep.”

“I’ll never function again if I sleep badly tonight.”

You may also carry extreme fears about the long-term effects of insomnia.

These thoughts feel real—but they’re often based on misinformation.

As your mind catastrophizes, your body believes the threat is real.

Cue more stress.

Cue more hyperarousal.

Cue more sleeplessness.

Throughout this system, you’ll learn to shift your perceptions.

By understanding how sleep actually works and how insomnia is maintained, your fear naturally decreases.

When the fear drops, your nervous system begins to calm down.

Unhelpful Reactions

These are the emotional and cognitive patterns that keep your sleep anxiety alive.

You might feel emotionally volatile when you don’t sleep well.

You might spiral when you feel tired during the day.

You might try to force yourself to sleep.

Or berate yourself for not being able to.

These reactions keep you trapped.

With tools like mindfulness, acceptance, and self-compassion, you can learn how to reduce emotional overreactivity and soften your nervous system response.

Unhelpful Behaviors

This includes what you actually do in response to insomnia.

You might:

• Spend extra time in bed trying to make sleep happen
• Take long naps
• Cancel plans to “protect” your sleep
• Avoid life activities that used to bring you joy

These behaviors unintentionally reinforce your fear of insomnia.

They train your brain to believe sleep is fragile and must be “protected.”

But this pressure only makes things worse.

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Conditioned Hyperarousal: Why Your Body Reacts Automatically

Here’s the kicker.

After enough nights of poor sleep and high anxiety, your nervous system starts associating nighttime with threat.

Even if you’re not consciously anxious, your body remembers.

This is known as conditioned hyperarousal.

You might feel sleepy at 9pm.

But the second your head hits the pillow, you’re wide awake.

You might even sleep fine one night, only to find yourself triggered the next.

That’s not your fault.

It’s a...