Enjoy this fan-favorite rerun episode with my guest, Kate Amber. What the heck is coercive control anyway? If you have experienced domestic violence or narcissistic abuse, you have experienced coercive control. And it’s likely that you have experienced it in ways and by people and systems that are outside of your romantic relationship.

In this episode, I have an expert on coercive control, Kate Amber, MS that is going to break it all down for you. We look at the most common challenges that survivors face as they work through the larger systems and she shares her BioPsychoSocial Quicksand Model as a framework for how professionals in the system can identify coercive control in these cases.

In this model we look at the D's:

• Double Standards
• Double Binds
• Double Team
• DARVO

The E's:

• Ensnare
• Entrap
• Exploit
• Preventing Escape

And the F's:

• Force
• Fraud
• Fear

These are all used to maintain control over the target.

Kate Amber, MSc, is the founder of End Coercive Control USA (ECCUSA) and an international speaker, consultant, trainer, writer, and expert witness on domestic abuse, coercive control, and extremist groups. She holds advanced certifications in psychology, leadership, human rights, and advocacy, and her award-winning master’s research introduced the BioPsychoSocial Quicksand Model™ of Coercive Control, synthesizing decades of research on abuse, trafficking, cults, gangs, and torture. Kate and ECCUSA have been recognized with multiple Purple Ribbon Awards for survivor leadership and outstanding community education.

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Do you ever feel like you “should” be grateful, especially around the holidays — but underneath, you’re still angry, grieving, or exhausted?

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re being human.

This episode explores how gratitude and anger can coexist, why both are valid, and how making room for all of your emotions can actually support your healing after abuse and during post-separation parenting.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why this season can intensify conflicting emotions
• How anger can point to your deepest values
• How to use curiosity and a non-judgemental stance to allow the difficult feelings to coexist with gratitude and peace
• Grounding practices and reflections that allow you to connect with yourself
• How to create holiday traditions that reflect your current reality
• The power of emotional honesty
• Ways to hold space for hope without dismissing your pain

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
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What happens when you have every intention of showing up as the best mom possible and then things go awry and you show up as someone that you do not want to be?

Do you beat yourself up for days?

We all have bad mom moments no matter how intentional we are in our parenting. I even share some of my bad mom moments so that you do not feel alone in this.

When those bad mom moments strike, there are things you can do to repair. And the repair is extremely important because it is one more thing that your child will not experience at their other parent’s home. In this episode I share some of my greatest tips on how you can repair your relationship with your child to help them grow up connected and resilient.

I’d love to hear your bad mom moments if you need a safe place to share them. Email me at info@risingbeyondpc.com.

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
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If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

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