Épisodes

  • Resetting in 2026

    Resetting in 2026
    Jan 14 2026
    Resetting in 2026 New year. Same marriage problems? Here's the thing: most people approach a new year with good intentions but no actual reset. They keep doing the same things, waiting for different results. And when it comes to saving your marriage, that's a recipe for staying stuck. In this week's podcast, I walk you through five critical resets you need to make in 2026. Not resolutions. Resets. There's a difference. If you play pickleball, you know what a reset is. When what you're doing isn't working, you reset the ball. You slow it down. You step back and start fresh. That's what we're doing here with your marriage. What Needs to Go (and What Needs to Come In) I break down five specific shifts, each with something that needs to be "out" and something that needs to be "in" for your process this year. The first reset deals with the most common trap I see: waiting for your spouse to join you before you start working on things. Spoiler alert—that's exactly backwards. One person always starts the process. That's normal. The question is whether you're going to be that person or keep waiting. The second reset tackles what I call "Idea ADD"—jumping from YouTube video to blog post to the next shiny object the algorithm throws at you. You're trusting an algorithm instead of following a clear, consistent approach. That has to stop. The third reset is about ditching the seat-of-your-pants approach. Flying by the seat of your pants IS a system. It's just a losing system. You need an actual written plan and systems in place to support it. The fourth reset changes how you think about hope. Most people treat hope like a feeling they're waiting to experience. Wrong. Hope is something you build using a specific formula. I'll walk you through the equation. The fifth reset shifts you from pushing and chasing your spouse (which only creates more distance) to something far more effective: inviting connection. Small shift. Massive difference. Why This Matters Right Now We're just into 2026. You've got a choice in front of you. You can approach your marriage the same way you did last year, or you can actually reset your approach. These aren't theoretical concepts. They're the backbone of how I've helped thousands of people turn their marriages around. They're built into my Save The Marriage System, my VIP program, and my Unpause app. They're the three C's in action: Connect with your spouse. Change yourself. Create a new path. Each of these five resets moves you toward one or more of those three areas. And each one is something you can control and execute on, regardless of where your spouse is right now. Listen to this episode if you're serious about making 2026 different. Not just hopeful it will be different. Actually different. Because hope isn't something you wait for. It's something you build. Listen to Episode 584: Resetting in 2026 now on the Save The Marriage Podcast. If your marriage is in crisis, learn more about the Save The Marriage System at savethemarriage.com. If you're looking to strengthen your connection and unpause your marriage, check out the Unpause app at unpauseyourmarriage.com.
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    21 min
  • “I get knocked down, I get up again…”

    “I get knocked down, I get up again…”
    Jan 7 2026
    You started working on saving your marriage. Good for you! And then, you hit a bump. You get knocked down. Maybe you discovered an affair, physical or emotional. Maybe your spouse is irritable and upset. Maybe it is anger and resentment, yours or your spouse’s. And it knocks you down. Enough that you think it is over. That you are at the end. But are you? Or do you need to get back up? In most things in life, we think the process is (or should be) smooth. I fall for that myth all the time. I think a project is going to be easy and straightforward. Only to find a complication and difficulty at every turn. And guess what? The same is true in your efforts to save your marriage. We talk about how you might get knocked down… and how to get up again, in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. (And if I have you humming a song in your head... I have succeeded with my title! You are my people!) RELATED RESOURCES Dealing with Discouragement You Need A Plan Not A Wish, A Plan Your Support Team Do You Need Coaching? Coaching Resource Page Save The Marriage System
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    27 min
  • Special Holiday Edition: The Ghosts of Relationships Past

    Special Holiday Edition: The Ghosts of Relationships Past
    Dec 23 2025
    Do you settle down with a good book you have read over and over this time of year? I read my kids the exact same Christmas book every single year. And many years, I re-read a classic for myself… like A Christmas Carol. This year, I offer you a redux of a prior podcast episode… about the Ghosts of Your Relationship Past. Yep. Christmas, with new opportunities. Here it is: Christmas Eve. Chris and Holly have settled into bed. Neither can sleep. It is not, however, sugarplums dancing in their heads. Both are replaying the arguments and hurts of the past. Neither feels connected, although both are desperate for that warm embrace each used to treasure. What happened? Where did their relationship fall into trouble? Can they find their way back? But first, they have to make it through a night of haunts, as the Ghosts of Relationship Past visit them this night. Are they the same ghosts that haunt your relationship? Is there a path through the pain? Listen in as Chris and Holly face the hauntings of their relationship.
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    14 min
  • To-Do’s and To-Don’ts of Saving Your Marriage, Pt. 2

    To-Do’s and To-Don’ts of Saving Your Marriage, Pt. 2
    Dec 17 2025
    You want to save a marriage... but you may not be sure what to do. And I guess it is also a question of what not to do. BOTH what TO do and what NOT TO do, are important. So, let's cover it! In this episode, I cover 5 more to-do's and to-don'ts. In an earlier episode, I covered 5 more of each. Why is this important? Because most people have the hardest time getting started (and continuing) when they aren't quite sure if they are clear on the path. That said, if you want an overall approach, please check out my Save The Marriage System HERE. RELATED RESOURCES: To-Do's and To-Don'ts Pt. 1 
Why You Are Fighting... and What To Do
 Why You Are Derailed... and What To Do
 Why You Are Discouraged... and What To Do How To Save Your Marriage - System
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    17 min
  • Quiet Divorce: The Truth

    Quiet Divorce: The Truth
    Dec 10 2025
    “Quiet Divorce.” It seems to be the topic of article after article. And the articles make it seem like, “No big deal, just happens, oh well.” But it IS a big deal. And it ISN’T anything new. Just another way of describing something we have discussed here often… the dangers of disconnection. I talked about this some time ago, when everyone was talking about Quiet Quitting during the pandemic — people were still technically employed, they just weren’t doing anything for the job. They quit the work, but kept taking a paycheck. I noted that sometimes, people Quiet Quit a marriage. Which is exactly what “Quiet Divorce” is noting. People are still legally married. But emotionally… not so much. Why does this matter? Because this doesn’t have to be the case. You don’t have to be choosing the path of withdrawal. But unless you understand what is going on, it is hard to do anything else. Which is why we need to talk about Quiet Divorce… the Truth about it, and what you can do. RELATED RESOURCES: Why Connection Matters Save The Marriage System The Un-Pause App
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    20 min
  • How You Deal with Negativity

    How You Deal with Negativity
    Dec 3 2025
    It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. A spouse negative about the marriage. Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage. You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt). Negativity comes from several sources: fear, protectiveness, anger, resentment, lack of understanding, and lack of clarity. Regardless of the source, you may find yourself reacting poorly -- negatively impacting your capacity to save and improve your marriage. Is there another alternative? You bet there is! I would suggest four ways to respond that can change the outcome. Listen to the podcast for the four ways you can respond differently to the negativity, making sure that you don't catch it yourself. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: You Need A Plan Dealing With Your Resentment Dealing With Your Spouse's Resentment Grab The Save The Marriage System
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    19 min
  • The Pause Problem (and Solution)

    The Pause Problem (and Solution)
    Nov 19 2025
    When did it happen? When did your marriage’s trajectory head in the wrong direction? Probably long before you thought, long before you could see it. Almost always, it is a conscious and unconscious collusion between the spouses. And it makes sense. Life… you have to get back to it! After all, you are now married, and your marriage is set up to successfully face life… or is it? At some point, after lots of connection, you have faith in your relationship, faith in your love. So, you hit the Pause Button. You think you are putting your marriage into some “suspended animation,” so that you can get on with life — kids, careers, friends, hobbies, travel, etc. You promise yourself(selves) that you will get back to the two of you again… at some point in the future (that often keeps creeping further into the future). Until one day, you (and/or your spouse) find yourself(selves) staring at a near-stranger. A roommate (or housemate). You no longer recognize the relationship you have, and it certainly isn’t what you were looking for. The pain of connection leads to anger, alienation, and resentment. That cocktail leads to a spiral of disconnection. It often accelerates until… separation, affair, or even divorce. And it all began with a decision that made total sense… until it doesn’t work. Is there a solution? There IS! I just released a new app, the Un-Pause App. In the podcast, I tell you about the problem… and the solution. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: The Un-Pause App The Save The Marriage System Why Pause Is So Painful
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    20 min
  • To-Do’s and To-Don’ts of Saving Your Marriage, Pt. 1

    To-Do’s and To-Don’ts of Saving Your Marriage, Pt. 1
    Nov 12 2025
    You want to save a marriage... but you may not be sure what to do. And I guess it is also a question of what not to do. BOTH what TO do and what NOT TO do, are important. So, let's cover it! In this episode, I cover 5 to-do's and to-don'ts. And in the next episode, I'll cover 5 more of each. Why is this important? Because most people have the hardest time getting started (and continuing) when they aren't quite sure if they are clear on the path. That said, if you want an overall approach, please check out my Save The Marriage System HERE. RELATED RESOURCES: 
Why You Are Fighting... and What To Do
 Why You Are Derailed... and What To Do
 Why You Are Discouraged... and What To Do How To Save Your Marriage - System
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    16 min
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