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This week on “Girl Math Made Me Subscribe,” The Shit Apple Podcast dives headfirst into the wild, slippery waters of subscriptions. From the absolutely necessary to the utterly unhinged, the three of us tally up what we’re paying for, what we forgot we signed up for, and what we will die on a hill defending. Shelley introduces us to her digital hall monitor Rocket Money, which lovingly exposes every charge while she calmly refuses to break up with any of them.

We travel back in time to when subscriptions meant newspapers on your doorstep, magazines in your mailbox, and cassette tapes arriving like little plastic promises of joy. Then we rocket forward to today’s ecosystem of streaming services, fitness apps, sleep trackers, and sneaky “free trials” that pounce on your credit card like a glittery trap.

Along the way, we unpack all the psychological tricks companies use to rope you in, why canceling feels harder than breaking a blood oath, and why auto-renew might be the most chaotic invention of modern life.

Grab your receipts, clutch your wallet, and join us for an episode that will make you laugh, cringe, and maybe finally look at that credit card statement with fresh eyes 💸✨

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✨ Bougie Behavior Unlocked ✨

In this episode, we fully embrace the things we’ve become unapologetically high-maintenance about. From refusing to rent the wrong color car, demanding keyless entry like civilized people, and insisting on organic everything, to only using top-notch cookware, skipping lines, enduring terrible concert seats, or staying in crusty hotels with that suspicious bedspread.

We’re calling ourselves out. Loudly.

Plus, we read a listener’s “You Know What I Hate!” because nothing bonds people like shared petty grievances.

If your standards have risen and your patience has vanished, this one’s for you. 🎧✨

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Welcome to a support group where no one wants support, only witnesses. 👀

This week we’re confessing every tiny, unhinged, accidental and extremely intentional way people beg for attention… starting with ourselves, because obviously.

We roast Shelley for fully believing she’s famous now that a handful of people recognize her voice from the podcast. We admit the loudest truth of all: starting a podcast is basically Attention Seeking Level One. Diana claims she was “recognized” at Costco… until we uncover it was actually Tiffany’s dad, Bruce.

From people who sneeze seventeen times in a row at IMAX volume, to adults who dramatically request a straw, to loud vomiting that somehow needs an audience… nothing is safe. We spiral through vocal fry, fake accents, plastic surgery as a personality trait, needing a receipt for a pack of gum, and much more!!

If you’ve ever wondered “was that necessary?” this episode is for you.

No anonymity. No shame. Just attention. Lots of it. 🎤🍎