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You can’t control how they’ll react, but you can control how you show up.

This episode is about getting grounded, staying calm, and making those hard conversations a little less painful... and a lot more productive.

When conflict flares up, the way you communicate can either move things forward or make them worse. I’m sharing the same tools I teach my clients—and use myself—to help navigate emotional conversations with more clarity and less chaos. Whether it’s your ex, your co-parent, or your boss, there is a better way.

You’ll hear a clip from my video guide, How to Talk to Your Ex About Mediation. And while this isn’t about mediation specifically, the same steps and language apply to any tough conversation, especially when emotions are high and the outcome really matters.

We’re digging into:

• Why your emotional state before the conversation matters most
• How to set a non-confrontational tone without triggering the other person
• The power of neutral language, and why accusations backfire
• What not to say if you want to avoid defensiveness and dead ends
• Why pressure and ultimatums never get you what you want
• How to use scripts to prepare for difficult talks without sounding robotic
• The surprising upside of conflict (yes, there is one)

If you’ve got a hard conversation coming up—or one you’ve been avoiding—this episode will help you get grounded, clear, and confident before you speak.

RESOURCES

Download Mediation Guide & Video: How to Talk to Your Ex About Mediation
Kelly’s Book: Victim Is Not Your Name – https://a.co/d/e4VguRk
Legal & Mediation Help: Sapere Law & Mediation - https://saperelawfirm.com
Instagram: @saperelawfirm
Facebook: @saperelawfirm

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

What if the best way to win custody… is to wait?

This episode flips the script on what most veteran parents expect—and reveals what family court actually wants to see when it comes to veteran divorce and custody.

In Part 2 of my conversation with Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.), we move from trauma to the tricky terrain of divorce and parenting after PTSD. If Part 1 was about what went wrong, this one’s about how to start making it right.

Whether you're a veteran struggling with post-combat stress and facing divorce, or the co-parent trying to hold it all together, this episode is full of clarity, compassion, and a clear plan forward.

In this episode:

· What family court really wants to see before granting custody

· How to set up parenting plans that account for trauma history

· The custody checklist every military family should read

· When it’s time to lower your timeshare—and why that’s not losing

· Why treatment first = better outcomes for everyone

· A mock court speech that every lawyer should borrow

About Mark Johnson: Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.) served as a Superior Court Judge and Colonel in the U.S. Army. He’s a decorated Iraq War veteran, former Veteran’s Court judge, and the author of Scars and Strife, a novel inspired by real stories of combat trauma and recovery.

RESOURCES:

Mark Johnson's book: Scars and Strife – https://a.co/d/38sod6z
Download Custody Checklist: https://mailchi.mp/2939c428981d/mediation-resources
Kelly’s Book: Victim Is Not Your Name – https://a.co/d/e4VguRk
Legal & Mediation Help: https://saperelawfirm.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/saperelawfirm
Facebook: https://facebook.com/saperelawfirm

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

This one’s powerful.

If you or someone you love has worn the uniform, you already know that the battles don’t always stop when deployment ends. And when veterans divorce, there’s usually a whole lot beneath the surface leading up to the split.

In this episode of The Splitting Smart Podcast, I’m sitting down with someone I deeply respect: Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.), an Iraq War vet, Bronze Star recipient, and the judge on the Veterans Court in Riverside County. He’s seen it all—PTSD, moral injury, addiction—and he’s here to share what most people (even lawyers) miss when a veteran ends up in family court.

We talk about trauma, recovery, justice, and the marriages caught in between.

In this episode:

• Trauma and healing: what a decade of Veterans Court taught Judge Johnson
• The signs of combat-related PTSD—and how they impact marriage
• Why reintegration is harder than people realize
• When domestic violence can really be about untreated trauma (and what to do about it)
• What spouses and lawyers need to ask—but usually don’t
• Stories of recovery, redemption, and hope

About Mark Johnson:

Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.) served as a Superior Court Judge and Colonel in the U.S. Army. He’s a decorated Iraq War veteran and longtime advocate for veterans who find themselves in the justice system, especially those struggling with PTSD and trauma. His novel, Scars and Strife, brings these stories to life through fiction rooted in truth.

Stay tuned for Part 2 (episode 62):

In the next episode, we dive deeper into veteran divorce, and what it takes to build real co-parenting agreements after military service and trauma.

HON. MARK JOHNSON (RET.)'S BOOK: Scars and Strife – https://a.co/d/38sod6z

MEDIATION STARTER GUIDE: https://mailchi.mp/2939c428981d/mediation-resources

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK: Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU: Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges